Rixem's Journal

You know how therianthropy can easily get confused with clinical lycanthropy? I was thinking about how ghostkin could easily get confused with walking corpse syndrome. My previous understanding was that ghostkin are fully aware of a live human body, whereas people with walking corpse syndrome believe their body literally is dead.

But after some research:
"People with Cotard's syndrome (also called walking corpse syndrome or Cotard's delusion) believe that parts of their body are missing, or that they are dying, dead, or don’t exist. They may think nothing exists."
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/cota...worldwide.
"Cotard's syndrome is a rare neuropsychiatric condition characterized by anxious melancholia, delusions of non-existence concerning one's own body to the extent of delusions of immortality. It has been most commonly seen in patients with severe depression."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4271387/

And now I worry whatever I have is more like this.

"Suicide attempts are also common in people with Cotard delusion. Some see it as a way to prove they’re already dead by showing they can’t die again. Others feel trapped in a body and life that doesn’t seem real. They hope that their life will get better or stop if they die again."

Which is a problem because there's not really a cure for walking corpse syndrome since there isn't much known about it. And I don't like that idea. It's a lot "prettier" to think I used to be a ghost or something, but unfortunately I'm a science first person, so I can't make myself believe it. Technically there's just as much validity to ghostkin as there is to walking corpse syndrome, but ghostkin is harder to believe.

I used to think I eventually wanted to be "out" as otherkin. People being open about it is the only way it's ever going to gain any legitimacy in the eyes of the general public. It's not fair that LGBT+ people get at least some acceptance or at least acknowledgement while otherkin are pretty much unheard of. Obviously kin is a lot easier to hide, but it doesn't mean we should have to.

But with ghostkin it's different. I'm more ashamed of it than proud of it. If somebody asked me what makes me ghostkin, I really don't have any evidence that couldn't be attributed to depression. Honestly, I think it's pretty likely that's what most people who identify as ghostkin are experiencing. I didn't want to be that though. It'd be a lot cooler to be a dog & when people ask me what makes me a dog I could say phantom limbs & dog behavior & all that or past life memories of being a dog or something.

Ya, we have similar issues
We can't point to an animal and say 'that's what I am'
Hell, we don't even know what we look like
It's a problem without a solution
It's just what it is

Things that may be symptoms of being ghostkin (but realistically more likely depression or something):
* not feeling real
* questioning if everything else is real
* wishing to be dead/ plotting your own death
* alone (not the same as lonely)
* not fitting in a physical body
* not wanting to be seen in a physical sense
* having no name
* sense of wanting to go home/ sense of not having a home to go back to
* talking feels unnatural
* constant feeling of forgetting something but not knowing what

Ghostly things:
* Ouija boards (even if you don't know how to use one or dont believe in contacting ghosts) 
* Vintage things/ things whos original owners are now deceased (bonus points if it's an antique animal cage or animal harness- double dead things)
* Dead Oddities- Taxidermy, bones, pelts, preserved bugs, abandoned honeycombs, dried flowers
* Opalite; By far the most ghostly looking gemstone
* Cemeteries/graves
* Abandoned old towns (bonus points if it has an abandoned funeral home)
* Broken things
* Kitschy toony sheet ghosts
* Movies where the ghosts aren't inherently "bad"- Corpse Bride, anything in the Casper franchise, 6th sense, Coco, etc.
* This Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AskAMortician/videos
* Sleeping
* Gray rainy days when you can stay home in bed
* Quiet clear nights where you can see the moon & stars & hear leaves rustling gently in the breeze 
* Broken down cars and old structures covered in ivy & moss & rust
* Candles 
* Haunted houses (real ones or the fun entertainment ones)
* Blankets, sheets, scarves, flowy curtains  
* laying silent & motionless on the floor in the dark with your eyes open
* Marigolds, white lilies, red white or black roses, ghostpipe, mushrooms, poisonous plants 
* Psychopomps & Gods of death- Hades, Cheron, Anubis/Anpu, Azreal, Shinigami, reapers, etc. 
* Fog
* Church bells, Tibetan singing bowls, large wind chimes, gongs, sounds with lots of resonance 

(2023-02-21 4:48)Rixem Wrote:  Which is a problem because there's not really a cure for walking corpse syndrome since there isn't much known about it. And I don't like that idea. It's a lot "prettier" to think I used to be a ghost or something, but unfortunately I'm a science first person, so I can't make myself believe it. Technically there's just as much validity to ghostkin as there is to walking corpse syndrome, but ghostkin is harder to believe.

I used to think I eventually wanted to be "out" as otherkin. People being open about it is the only way it's ever going to gain any legitimacy in the eyes of the general public. It's not fair that LGBT+ people get at least some acceptance or at least acknowledgement while otherkin are pretty much unheard of. Obviously kin is a lot easier to hide, but it doesn't mean we should have to.

But with ghostkin it's different. I'm more ashamed of it than proud of it. If somebody asked me what makes me ghostkin, I really don't have any evidence that couldn't be attributed to depression. Honestly, I think it's pretty likely that's what most people who identify as ghostkin are experiencing. I didn't want to be that though. It'd be a lot cooler to be a dog & when people ask me what makes me a dog I could say phantom limbs & dog behavior & all that or past life memories of being a dog or something.

I would assume a science first person is going to immediately bring those worries up to a doctor (if possible)? If I was worried and want the psychological/neurological answer to it, I'd speak up about those feelings there.

I'm a dog therian and it certainly doesn't stop me from thinking I'm just imagining this stuff. Mainly because I lack the belief in a dog past life, have 0 phantom shifts. Or just anything that couldn't just be deemed "too much fantasy" or worse...

There's not much to do there. I can ignore it, it still is there. It proves itself no matter my opinion on it. I might actually have another kintype. And I feel terrible about that one too.

Ghostkin does sound complicated though. I hope you can come to terms with it over time, if it's correct I mean.

(2023-02-26 2:39)Cordyceps Canine Wrote:  I would assume a science first person is going to immediately bring those worries up to a doctor (if possible)? If I was worried and want the psychological/neurological answer to it, I'd speak up about those feelings there.

Did you talk to a doctor about being a dog therian? Or about Cletus? Did anybody here talk to a doctor about otherkin stuff?

Over on TG there were some therians mentioning bringing it up to psychologists. I don't recall the names though. Apparently most therapists didn't view it as a bad thing. Simply put it on escapism or well, it's a belief.

I kind of hope I can find someone to bring the Cletus topic up to eventually, because I've got issues. Can't deny that. And I'm actually supposed to look into PTSD stuff. But...no luck with that either.

Due to my own experiences I have a hard time believing that said therapists/psychologists actually are chill about this stuff. They are master pretenders just to get information out of you to twist around. But take this with a grain of salt, I'm paranoid there.

(2023-02-28 0:41)Cordyceps Canine Wrote:  Over on TG there were some therians mentioning bringing it up to psychologists. I don't recall the names though. Apparently most therapists didn't view it as a bad thing. Simply put it on escapism or well, it's a belief.

I kind of hope I can find someone to bring the Cletus topic up to eventually, because I've got issues. Can't deny that. And I'm actually supposed to look into PTSD stuff. But...no luck with that either.

Due to my own experiences I have a hard time believing that said therapists/psychologists actually are chill about this stuff. They are master pretenders just to get information out of you to twist around. But take this with a grain of salt, I'm paranoid there.

Therapists & Psychologists aren't doctors though. They wouldn't be able to tell you if something is medically wrong.

Pretty sure if they suspect something serious they send you to a neurologist and get this checked out. Depends on the issue obviously. But anyways, enough with the medical shenanigans I'd say. That's not why we're on OKP now, is it?

On ghost stuff, since you mentioned taxidermy. I used to have a bunch of taxidermy animals, all second-hand, mainly mustelids and one mongoose fighting a cobra...All of them were pretty old but I loved having them around. Sometimes petting them and wondering what they're life was like and how old their mounts were. I sadly had to give up on that. Moth outbreak.

But it did feel like something was still alive about them in a way. I'd still have them and more if it wasn't for the moth problem.

(2023-02-28 17:06)Rixem Wrote:  Therapists & Psychologists aren't doctors though. They wouldn't be able to tell you if something is medically wrong.

Actually, as I've only recently learned in my own hunt for answers, therapists are not doctors so they cannot prescribe medications. However, psychologists/psychiatrists are doctors and therefore can prescribe stuff. Therapists, as far as I've found, are really just for listening to you talk about your problems. (Which is good, I'm not trying to knock it!) Whereas psychiatrists listen to you talk and can offer medical advice along with prescribing things if necessary.

I wasted a lot of time searching for a professional to talk to and not understanding that difference. I don't need someone to talk to, I need a medical professional who can prescribe stuff if needed.