might be a fictionkin and hoping that I'm not

This year's Howlcon just recently occurred, and I attended it for the first time. I got to talk to a lot of other alterhumans, otherkin and therians, as well as a few furries, which was very nice! Made a few friends, attended some panels, the works.

With that on my mind, I was thinking about my relation to fictional characters. And I got on a train of thought that was basically "Huh, I wonder if I'm fictionkin...nah, who would I even be kin of?"

And then it hit me.

There's a character that I think of myself as almost all of the time. In addition to that, I have a thing I do when I'm figuring out new identities where I just say "I am [x]" out loud and see how that feels. And I did, and that felt...well, it didn't feel wrong, or like I was putting on an act or roleplaying as that character. There's other things too, like the fact that I've dreamed of myself as this character before (to be fair, I've also dreamed of myself as many things, including dragons, animals, and hybrid creatures).

However, I don't really feel like the exact canon version of them. It feels more like would be a version of them, with some different traits and aspects. So maybe I'm not fictionkin?

The thing is, I don't really...want to be fictionkin. When I see fictionkin online, my reaction is "oh, okay, that's you!". I even have a couple of fictionkin friends, and I'm completely fine with it. But applied to me? That thought is uncomfortable. Because it feels like I'm being dumb. The idea of trying to explain to people that I myself as this character feels embarrassing, like I'm caught up in some childish fantasy. Maybe I have some internalized negative bias about fictionkin that I need to confront, but I just don't want to be this.

Does anyone here have any advice, comments or thoughts? How did you figure out you were fictionkin? For those of your who felt like I do, like you don't want to be fictionkin, how did you deal with those feelings?