Sedim Haba's Journal 2025

Well, went to the Drum Circle on the 31st.

I wouldn't call it a temple, it's just someone's home. They have 3 acres or so, have a Spiral Labyrinth and a couple fire pits, etc.

Still, if this is the local coven, only three members showed up.

Other family members, so maybe six others?

A lot of family small-talk, as someone Autistic that is IDK WTF to do with that.

Not very friendly, but still country folk like me, so not totally alien.

Still, a disappointment. Going to email the one in charge again, see what's up.

I gather that a few didn't come cuz holiday plans.

Which might mean I'm still not anyone to them.

(2025-08-30 17:08)Sedim Haba Wrote:  Also, I now am open about my gender. Yes, I am a male.

Good on ya!

Well, seems I did all right, next step is green light, but a ways to go still...

Quote:Sedim,
You are more than welcome to attend our rituals and events. As Kerri said, you seem to be one of us

I hope you understand we are careful who we allow into sacred space with so many wack-a-doodles out there today.

Our Mabon celebration will be Sunday, September 21st.
~Sue

IDK much about Mabon, seems to be a harvest festival, I'm used to that with Sukkot but with a Goddess focus will be new and exciting!

Just thought I'd post my own past life regression.

It was France, Paris most likely, or whereever the royal court was.

It was a big city for sure, maybe they all had a court?

When... I'd say 1600 or so, not a clue. But, dress style looked right out of 'Three Musketeers'.

Well, we... that is the other soul in this scene, were gay court 'dandies', and lovers.

In this case one jealous lover and one very much dead run thru the heart lover.

Duel. Didn't stand a chance, and everyone knew that. Might as well be murder. Violent age. (when isn't it?)

IDK if that's my previous life or one farther in the past, but...

I'm being divorced by my murderer now. 'Soul Mates' they called us.

Too bad no one ever told her, that's sometimes... not all sunshine and rainbows and happy ever after.

Sometimes it's to deal with past trauma. Trauma not resolved, never coming here with her again. Ever.

Well, that was heavy and depressing... here's something different!

In no particular order but trying to, all the things I've done or been (I'm sure there's more!)

Immigrant
short-order cook
auto body repairman
Fork lift operator
Artist (Clay mostly)
Professional scuba diver (insurance fraud div.)
Civil War re-enactor / movie cast (VERY realistic)
Solo guitarist (Coffee house type venues)
Fiat antique car restorer
...race them fiat antiques ( on real racetracks not street)
Rock band Lighting & Sound
...Follow spot operator for Survivor (Eye of the Tiger)
Mercenary (Trained but not deployed... wanted to be a hero, rescue ppl like the A-Team LOL)
Gunsmith (mostly antique varieties)
Bodyguard Driver (can't tell ya who)
B52 Stealth Package Engineer (Top Secret Clearance!!!)
Simulated Lightning Engineer (FYI - it's almost impossible)
Ultrasound Engineer
GPS Satellite Engineer
'Smart Car' (embedded phone) Engineer
Watch/clock repairman
Horse Ranch Owner (Many different barn animals too)
Brony (is that even a thing now?)

EDIT: All those except the first & last item were actual jobs I got paid for not just hobby.

Watched Song of the Sea again Halloween Eve.

It hit very different this time. Many manly tears were shed.

(2025-10-31 14:38)Sedim Haba Wrote:  Watched Song of the Sea again Halloween Eve.

It hit very different this time. Many manly tears were shed.

It's a beautiful film!

(2025-10-31 15:21)elinox Wrote:  

(2025-10-31 14:38)Sedim Haba Wrote:  Watched Song of the Sea again Halloween Eve.

It hit very different this time. Many manly tears were shed.

It's a beautiful film!

Indeed! Someone (I don't remember where) recommended: Wolfwalkers

Same director. now I did see The Secret of Kells but looking for that DVD as well.

(indy DVDs are rare in resale shops)

From now on, I'm going to try using the term 'Sidhe' (pronounced “shee”) instead of the clumsy and awkward 'Fae/Jinn' term.

It's a balance between being obscure and putting up with associations that are not always applicable.

Likewise, I will sometimes use the word 'Familiar' instead of 'Qareen'.

I don't like the negative connotations Islam places on Q. (decided this during Samhain)

Why I am the way I am

Much of this I learned only after my father passed.

We wrote this during our last channeling. It wasn't automatic writing, it was despair.

To speak the truth of my life, it is not normal. Let me explain.

April third, 1957. It was sleeting, and foul weather, dark as night can be.

My father brought my mother to the hospital. I was overdue, causing stress and worry.

Her water didn't break, blood was pouring out. Blood everywhere, the car, a trail of it into Emergency.

My father could not handle this, being weak and fainting at the sight of blood.

He cursed my mother, cursed her on the day of my birth, and left us there.

I was breach, and the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, to kill me.

I died. She died. We both died, right there in surgery.

Any other age of man, that would be the end. But, they brought us back to life by modern medicine.

Like some foul necromancy, I lived again. my brain... not so lucky.

Long time without oxygen, they figured I'd be a vegetable. I wasn't, but I was never normal either.

My soul also damaged? Our tradition says we give eight days to let the soul merge with body.

Did it? with a damaged brain, would it bond? Perhaps this is why I didn't get a normal Qareen, I got someone... special. I needed her.

I was never a normal child. I did not cry. I just looked around like ... one who knew.

I was born old. Very old. silent but loving, mute but curious.

(Skipping over some stuff I don't want to talk about)

School. It was a new school, with new inexperienced teachers. I was a problem.

First grade right through Fifth grade, I did... nothing.

No homework, no tests, no quiz, no class participation, I just sat there.

Looking at things no one else saw. Don't remember too much now, but... WTF?

The teachers, they didn't care. Just bump me to the next grade, make me someone else's problem.

Report cards all the same, C or D in Art and Gym (depends on if teacher liked me)

All other grades, not F or I... Zero ... 0...

It's Autism. That's the disease. But, the symptom was Retardation.

(despite this term being not PC, it best describes the condition)

That's why I am the way I am. Had to get this out, expel it, thrust it out of me. Sorry you had to read it.