Taiaka Wrote:Yeah, the old "I said you are acting like an idiot, not that you are an idiot." I'm married, I've had the argument about a million times.
I'm not sure what point you're making. Regardless, saying "you are an idiot" and "you are acting like an idiot" are two very different things. Roughly, one characterises a person, the other characterises behaviour.
Everyone is capable of acting like an idiot and everyone is capable of acting in a very wise manner - it doesn't say anything about the nature of the person to say that one behaviour
has a negative characteristic.
Quote:And, unfortunately, this is an English speaking board so that whole, "oh, she may not know what twat means." is not an excuse.
Nor was that excuse used by me, Freetha, or anyone else. I clearly said that in British English, "twat" is not obscene or vulgar and is a very mild term. I am aware that in the USA it is a slang term for female genitals and as such somewhat offensive - but in British English the term is not swearing or rude. I don't know what category of English Freetha speaks, but I do know that in context "idiot" is a much more likely translation than "female genitals". As such it makes sense to believe that Freetha was using the term "twat" in the British English sense of "idiot", and not the offensive American English sense.
This is indeed an English speaking site. It is not, however, an American English speaking site - I do not believe there is a specification anywhere as to which dialect of English is the "official" one. Some terms mean something different in American English, British English, Indian English, Australian English . . . I don't think it makes sense to either hold everyone to standards of American English, regardless of which brand of English they speak, or alternatively to assume that every word with more than one meaning is being used in the most offensive sense.
Quote:The rules say be respectful, to do unto others. Well, I would not like to be done unto by Freetha. That was my point. And I'm not going to go surfing through the thread to find the exact point where she used the word asshole, if she even did. Let's stick to twat, asshole I can deal with- hell, you're a mod and you hurl it around freely. *shrugs* And just remember, I'm not on trial here, Arch.
Hold on . . . you made a public post in which you accuse Freetha of calling people "twats" and "assholes" in a specific topic. You say you are appalled at this. Are you now saying you agree that Freetha did *not* call anyone an "asshole" in that topic, and as such your accusation was just . . . false?
Re me hurling around "asshole" freely, I just did a quick search. Aside from this thread, where I have used the term only in context of referring to what people have said on the forum (I have not used it to describe anyone), do I hurl the term around?
In the public parts of this forum, and not including this thread, I see the word "asshole" used in only seven posts.
Vantalus uses it twice in one post to refer to asshole guys v nice guys. There is nothing offensive about the term there that I can see, and he does not refer to any specific person as an asshole.
In the same thread BlissfulIsis uses the word again, in the same context of a "nice guy who knows how to be a complete asshole".
In one thread, Chaitea quotes a description of the comic book series that includes a character believing God is an asshole. This is closer to offensive because it is directed at a specific person, but even then it is not Chaitea's opinion - rather a blurb-writer's rendering of a fictional character's opinion.
In one thread - NOT the one you complained about here - Freetha says that if he was Lucifer, he would not publically admit it, because people would think he was an asshole. Again, he is not calling anyone an asshole - rather saying that in a hypothetical situation, he would seem like an asshole. Nothing offensive.
In one thread I use the term once, relating to what might motivate a potential internet predator. The term is directed at a specific person but a hypothetical one - in an "if he does X for Y reason, he's an asshole" kind of manner. Is it offensive, vulgar, or over the top to use a very slightly graphical insult to describe an internet predator? I don't think so.
In another thread I use the term again, referring to general people I know, in the sense of "someone I trust didn't like people X Y and Z, but it later turned out they were in some way assholes". This is not an insult directed at the individuals, and the moderating clause "in some way" makes it clear that the term is not absolute anyway. If you want to know whether or not the term was appropriate (as opposed to excessive), then let me know and I will gladly PM you a one line outline of each person I referred to.
Which leaves us to your use of the term, from the monster Community Notice thread: "You can't make someone respect you but you can hope they respect themselves enough not to come off as an asshole." Again I do not consider this excessive or vulgar, but simply that you thought it was a concise term to describe a (parly hypothetical) subset of users.
So to summarise . . . you accuse Freetha of calling people "assholes" in a specific thread. A quick perusal of the thread shows that Freetha did no such thing, and in fact used the term only once, and referring to himself, not to other people. You refer to me hurling the word around, but in fact I have used it in public threads other than this one (which obviously skews the statistics) only twice, compared to your once. Hardly hurling it around freely.
Freetha has just now confirmed to me that he used the term "twat" in the British English sense of the word and as such it is no more offensive than "chump" or "eejit". Is there anything more to answer there? I mean your complaints were that he called people twats (which simply means "idiot" and nothing more offensive than that) and assholes (which he clearly didn't), so why in the world are we even having this conversation?
You are quite right to say you are not on trial, but if you want to invoke a legal metaphor, you are the complaining witness: in other words someone who accuses someone else of some wrongdoing. For you to assume Freetha's use of "twat" was offensive is probably nothing more than believing your dialect of English is universal - but for you to accuse Freetha of calling people an "asshole" in a specific thread, when he did not call anyone an asshole anywhere, would in fact be perjury.