Sedim Haba's Journal 2025

My new Journal moving forward. So much has changed, need a new thread.

( Topics will be separate posts, rather than a huge 'wall - o - text )

On December 12th (that long ago, seems like an eternity) as I was going to bed I had severe pain in my lower abdomen. Gas pain, I thought, went to sleep.

In the morning I got up, went to the bathroom. Same pain started again after a little while. Walked to the kitchen, get a cup o coffee, pain continued to ramp up. Soon became excruciating, with no sign of easing.

Went and sat on the john, see if it was gas, ... no gas but pain subsided. It went away, got up. Pain returned same way.

I learned that I could sit or lay, but NOT stand for more than a minute or so. walking made pain come on faster, could not get far at all.

Had to have the kids take care of the animals, no way I could make it even out the door much less to the barn. NOT a good time.

Went to acute care center, only way I could get to the car was with an ice pack, no way could I drive. Doc gives me some song and dance about muscle cramps but that made no sense a muscle strain would hurt getting up, eh?

Went and got an Ultrasound. They found a hernia, which made more sense. But not 100% could not think of anything that caused it.
Got ready all kinds of stuff for a hospital stay, but surgeon wanted to have a CT scan first. Took DAYS to do all this, meanwhile in pain and not just when vertical some nights I woke up in agony, thought I'd need to go to ER. The CT scan showed that the 'hernia' was actually a huge swelling, no actual rupture at all. More tests.

Turns out, final diagnosis was Mesenteric panniculitis. Ya, never heard about it either. mesenteric-panniculitis

Near as they can figure, it was some reaction in either my artificial hip (EXTREMELY dangerous) or my umbilical Hernia operation.

During all this testing, pain diminished and stopped, took almost a month.

This wasn't the only medical problem I was dealing with, I don't even want to get into THAT can o worms. May need surgery.

Oh, and during this time, my email account associated with OKP was hacked. Didn't log on here in fear. I think it was a Chinese web site I was shopping on?

Now for the real spicy part. I will only post about this here, you guys will understand if anyone can.

NOT planning on telling family, but I don't have final say. You'll understand later.

You all may know I've been trying to reach out and contact Jinn. If not Jinn then at least my Qareen. Qareen

The Jinn contacted me in a dream, so I felt that was the way to go.

I tried all sorts of techniques for both Lucid Dreaming and Astral Projection.

I've spent months at this, no success. I am not able to be hypnotized, I tried professionals when I was trying to quit smoking. So I felt LD & AP would be difficult likewise. Maybe an Autism thing? Tried and tried.

Eventually I said f it and looked for a shortcut. My Zoloft does give me dreams (regular dreams, for the first time in my life) but I can't 'break' into the dream to LD, no technique works. Drugs?

Found two drugs that my fav Jinn influencer said was guaranteed LD.

Could only find one, other one needs prescription, Alzheimer's drug.

Second day taking it, I'm sitting on my laptop online when I get a voice in my head. (my voice) I will post here what I can remember. As much for my sake as for you. I'm not under the drugs right now, just memories.

You finally found the right combination of drugs

That's a weird thought

It's not your thought

????

I'm your Qareen, you've been trying to talk to me yes? Now we can

[At this point every image I look at, everything I read or hear, the Qareen has a running commentary about. By the end, I'm convinced.]

So, I believe. Can we talk now in dreams?

No. I'm the one stopping your attempts of LD & AP from working. Did you forget about THIS?

https://forum.otherkinphenomena.org/Thread-A-dream-to-end-all-dreams

Yes THAT. You mustn't enter AP or even LD (which still occurs in Astral Plane) but I can give you regular dreams, one-way communication.

what's your name?

Sedim Haba, of course

So how can we talk?


Long story short, the Qareen wants to make a Tulpa... I know of this, but not attempted to make one yet. Qareen knows how, but I still have to build up my end of the connection. Researching.

Me and my Qareen agreed on an image for Avatar for the Tulpa, it's my phone background now. That's as far as we got.

[there is one thing more we discussed, but still digesting that myself]

---

EDIT: Oh, BTW one of the drugs I'm taking is Huperzine_A

I'm taking 400 mcg a day, which I will have to cut in half,
and find the best time of day to take it.

The most common side effect is nausea, and damn it's bad...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo__2svqQgs

I don't need it for LD or AP anymore, but I gotta get my part of Tulpa complete before I stop it, IDK if communication will shut down without it.

So I may not post here a lot, I've been up since 5 to work out these posts & make sure I'm not hacked anymore.

If you want advices on tulpamancy, I can share with you the diffrent ressources I have if you are interested.

(2025-01-20 19:03)Temperance Wrote:  If you want advices on tulpamancy, I can share with you the diffrent ressources I have if you are interested.

Yes, please!

I've downloaded a dozen or so of the (seemingly) most popular Youtube guides, but other resources (PDFs, forums, etc.) would be most welcome.

I have some 7 GB or so LD & AP resources I've collected, and now can't use.

If there's any interest I'll see about making a Google Drive before I delete all that.

Note that the libgen links might require a VPN to access them. Remember that if a book proves useful, it is in good taste to purchase a physical copy of it out of respect for the author, if you have the money and can safely keep a physical copy.

On the history and origins of tulpamancy: they are not buddhist but theosophic. Or rather, a theosophic reinterpretation of two separate tibetan buddhist concepts, the sprul'pa on the one hand, and the first stages of deity yoga on the other hand. Download the paper here: https://www.researchgate.net/publication...he_Tulpaem


Adjacent studies on tulpamancy can be found on Google Scholar if you are interested -mind you that almost all of them spread the misinformation that tulpas are buddhist. I mean, even Angela's Symposium video on servitors in magic spreads the misinformation...


Adjacent techniques that can be used for tulpamancy: anything related to creating magical servitors or familiars. The witch's familiar is an example. You will find adjacent informations, especially cross-cultural, in Familiars in witchcraft. Could be food for thought on how to feed a tulpa.

The early stages of deity yoga (the wikipedia article is descriptive enough IMO but you can find step by step guides on YouTube about specific tantric yidams, just swap the yidam for your tulpa and you're good to go). If you want more details in written form, there is this book on deity yoga and also this one. Note that if you use the techniques for tulpamancy, it stops being buddhist and yoga techniques.

Techniques to communicate with one's dissociated parts have proven useful to communicate with tulpas. The two go-to books on the subject being Coping with trauma related dissociation and Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors. Just skip to the parts about communication and other types of interactions.


Pagan deity worship techniques can prove useful as tools to feed a tulpa. This playlist about deity work in norse paganism contains lots of tips and infos that can be repurposed for tulpamancy.


Places to chat about tulpamancy: not a user myself but a tulpamancer friend advised me this subreddit https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/


If you understand french I have a couple french ressources too.



My own additional two cents:

If you have trouble with self hypnosis and transe states of consciousness to the point of needing a bit of a chemical nudge for that, it could be a nice idea to work on building the feeling of inner safety (see the two books on trauma and dissociation I linked in this post). According to conferences I watched on the subject of transe, hypnosis and mental health, people who are "on the edge" for whatever reason (anxiety, traumas, lack of self confidence, autistic sensory hypersensitivity, ADHD, insomnia, you name it) cannot relax enough to enter alternate states of consciousness. Working on untangling said knot can help improve one's spiritual life.

Building the inner safety and ability to enforce one's own boundaries also helps with mental and spiritual safety. It keeps the bad spirits at bay, if you prefer, because you look too tough to be worth messing with.

The purpose of tulpamancy is to make the tulpa autonomous. A lot of people start panicking when their tulpa becomes autonomous, having their own thoughts, choosing their own actions... A lot of spiritual groups say that such tulpas are dangerous because they are not controlled by their creator anymore. You will find such discourse in theosophy's thought-forms stuff, in witchcraft's familiars stuff, and so on. IMO a thought-form becomes dangerous only when fed "rotten food" such as one's subconscious fears and so on. A tulpa feeds on the conscious food you give it (cf. the deity worship videos as examples of how to feed a tulpa) but also on your subconscious. If you have unhealed wounds, anxieties, phobias... it is possible that the tulpa absorbs them and that it shows. Proceed the way you would with shadow work or how to manage a persecutor alter in dissociative disorders (cf. the books on trauma and dissociation, I also have a couple specific papers on the subject if you are interested). Apparently, the "persecutor alter work" is also very similar to how some spiritualities deal with bad spirits during exorcism and it is said to be more efficient than the abrahamic banishment, for the reason that it helps erasing the cause of why the bad spirits is here rather than just giving it the boot. Without the cause, there is no reason to come back. I'll let you browse YouTube on the subject of buddhist and shinto exorcisms to see if it is a good idea for you or not. That being said, if an autonomous tulpa would make you freak out, maybe you need to do some work on inner safety, inner healing, self-confidence etc. before you start building the tulpa. Or not. You do you, I'm not your mom, just giving my opinion stemming from my experience and the one shared by tulpamancer friends.

Not everybody has the same predispositions for tulpamancy. Some people will need 10+ years of daily training before having a results, others have a mind that can just flip a switch and voilà, and all the greys and rainbows in-between.

Lots of "familiars in witchcraft" manuals for creating a tulpa-like construct will advise to create a physical anchor for the construct. It can help if you have trouble visualizing things. But on the long run, for tulpamancy, I would rather advise to have a spiritual /mental anchor rather than a physical one. You can of course start with a physical one and slowly switch to a mental /spiritual one once you and your tulpa feel confident enough. Some tulpas can express distress if their anchor is physical, though, so be warned. But they can still enjoy "physical tulpa food" nonetheless even the ones without a physical anchor. Go with their flow.

And last but not least, all the informations and techniques on tulpamancy are like running shoes. Having the best running shoes in the world will never make you a good runner if you never train. And just like for running, how to train will depend on your predispositions. Try a few different exercises and schedules, see what helps and what does not.

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, that really sucks! I hope you can get some true relief soon.

Not forgotten to post, Tulpas are a lot of work.

Both for me and my Qareen.

Peace.

We decided on a new avatar.

Still working on a sig.

Well, not updated this journal in ages.

I do so as I'm updating my Kintype from 'Shedu' to 'Qareen'.

It's really just a more accurate label, a Qareen is technically a type of Shedu, from a Jewish perspective.

But, I no longer identify as being a member of any one particular Abrahamic faith group,

having, as I said in another thread, 'separated the wheat from the chaff'.

All the Abrahamic Faiths have 'wheat' in them, but are choking to death on the 'chaff'.

So, I am on a narrow path indeed, I trust my Qareen to guide me.

---

Also, I now am open about my gender. Yes, I am a male.

I usually am reluctant to declare gender anywhere on the internet, going back to the 1990's

People make assumptions about you based on gender biases and prejudice.

My Qareen, SHE is female. I will still be using the ZE/ZEM pronouns for zem.

My avatar: that is NOT me and my Qareen. That is my Qareen and her father.

Yes, Jinn have family. Her mother is Lilith. That's part of the reason why I am now dedicated to Lilith, my Queen (and sort-of MIL?!?)