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Full Version: "mysterious" pains -- WHYYY....
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This post is about an experience I had last night...I have a fairly long list of notes here. Traditionally, right before sleep is the time when I get the strongest "spirit" contact, whatever that means in reality. Last night -- well, for the past couple of days, really -- I've been dealing with a new crystal sphere which I picked up because I needed its stand.

The sphere is basically a transparent teal "reconstituted quartz" ball made in China -- about 40mm. Because of its origins, I've been attuned to how and whether its energy is conflicting with my own. I know that at one time when I held it, I got a pain in my right hand -- I can't remember exactly where, but I thought that the pain had to do with my trying to grasp a sphere -- probably not the most ergonomic of shapes. I think the pain was between the pinky and ring fingers, in the flesh of the palm...where I can feel a dull ache now.

Well, last night -- I believe after attempting to fully clear the sphere of foreign energy under running water, and after I'd then put the sphere into a shell and on the windowsill to clear for today (I hadn't before) -- I started getting pains again. In the wrists, elbows, and thumb joints. And now, in the shoulder.

The aches have been happening for the past few days. Normally, moving my body awareness to the site of the pain and visualizing whatever is kinked, smoothing out, will remove the pain. But let me backtrack just one bit...

Earlier this week, I'd had visions of energy lashing out at me and becoming attached to spots, while dealing with this sphere, if I recall correctly. I ignored this initially, thinking it was just my being paranoid and imagining things. However, a couple of days later, I started getting pains in the places I'd been "touched," like localized cramps. It was at that time that I connected the visions with the pain, and began doing visualizations to "unkink" the energy patterns there, though I don't officially know what I'm doing -- I haven't read far enough yet.

It could also be described as biofeedback, which I know I've been able to accomplish in the past. Of course, if I can stop pain, that also means I can start it.

One pain which occurred as I was writing this, and which I remember from the first episode, is somewhere in the left lower abdomen...too low to be the stomach, and somewhere inside. Possibly upper colon, but not of the quality to make me feel sick.

Anyhow. I think somehow I was attempting to make contact with the energies in the sphere. I'd already been sending thoughts out to it, as I was putting it on the windowsill, trying to appease whatever might have been there. Around this time, for some reason, I was either picking up or imagined a body like that of my known dark spirit visitor.

However, this time the form was different...all four limbs ended in what were eagle-like claws -- thick wrists. No horns. Humanlike torso and head with long black hair. The black, membraned wings were, as usual, huge.

I let this go on for a moment, and ended up noticing a jointed tail with feathers on either side, waving back and forth -- if it was a bird's tail, it would be "wedge" shaped (like a raven's) when the feathers were fanned, however its length was more "boatlike" (like a magpie's), due to the non-fused vertebrae. The form also had wings, though in its final form these were feathered wings of a mottled brown and tan color, like an owl's. The being also had a very large hawklike head. I noted that, without its tail, it seemed to be around the size I'd imagine a tiger to be, up close (though of course, I don't know that) -- at least 5-6 feet long, I noted last night.

I tried to morph my own form to "try on" the form of this being. To be concise, I ended up nauseous, and it didn't really stop until I fell asleep.

Before the nausea really struck me, though (this could have been due to not having eaten enough that day, eating "American" food when I did eat, and getting up to eat candy -- though sugar, normally, doesn't make me sick in that way), I was trying to figure out what this form could be used for. And -- what it could have been metaphor for; just the way my mind was attempting to understand something, without necessarily being wholly accurate.

The body was too heavy for flight, outside of a thicker atmosphere (it looked like it was more than 30-something pounds, so it likely wasn't capable of powered flight) -- so either this was just a spiritual metaphorical form, or it was the body of a glider. A tree-climbing, arboreal, predatory (?) glider.

Tail used for balance, wings and retractable feathers off of the sides of the arms and legs to glide, claws to grasp branches and climb, hooked beak (possibly) for meat-eating. Though there's the chance that it was more like a parrot, I envisioned the head like a raptor's. I know the positioning of the eyes matters (on the sides or the front of the head?), though unfortunately I doubt my vision in that area -- it was unclear. I know that the wrists and ankles were thick, though that could have just been to help with climbing, not with crushing prey.

(Eagles and hawks are fairly clumsy on the ground, as their talons get in the way of being able to walk or run. Hence, this creature was arboreal, more like a monkey in habit, than a hawk (which spends most of its time soaring, if my conjecture is correct). Though of note, I didn't initially see talons on an eagle-, hawk-, or owl-scale; it was closer to songbird -- which is why there's the fruit- or nut-eater hypothesis. Parrots also have sharply hooked beaks and smaller claws, but can climb as this animal could, just with fewer grasping limbs. Of course, it also could have just been trying not to freak me out.) I got the clear picture of a rainforest-like habitat (ample forest canopy) with periodic grassy clearings.

The front legs were stronger and longer than the back ones, which led me to think, "ape;" though it wasn't as exaggerated as, say, an orangutan's body. Bird-thing also had "trousered" legs...and I really don't know how that works with retractable feather flanges, but that's what I saw.

I was also connecting this with the possibility that I was viewing myself, though for my own benefit, I stopped thinking that around the time the nausea kicked in. I also tried to stop speculating on what I might see if this were a real animal, once the nausea kicked in -- as I saw the nausea as a signal to stop whatever I was doing.

As it is now...there are a couple of possibilities. One, I imagined it all; two, this was some kind of "astral" form (though I doubt I was really that far into near-sleep to sense the astral); three, this was a forest spirit; four (which possibly goes with "one"), I was sensing either myself (Core) or part of myself; five, I found a dinosaur (or dinosaur-like) spirit -- though I haven't really seen six-limbed dinosaurs to be existent in the fossil record, so far as I know. But I do suppose random mutations happen.

Why the heck whatever this was, was attached to my sphere, I have no idea. If four, the sphere could have just "clarified" (*cough* right) this to me, whereas I'd been unaware of it before. It could be that the sphere awakened something in me. I don't know -- could be a variety of recalled past-life forms mishmashed into one? (Bird plus monkey plus cat?) I really don't even know what a teal sphere emotes, though I know it emotes something, and that it was something that I liked.

I haven't even touched that sphere, today. I'm waiting for the sun to go down.

Pertinent question: if what I'm sensing is "bird" anatomy, at least partially; would this be reason for my shoulders, elbows, wrists, and palms (and upper right back, plus lower left abdomen) to be hurting -- if this bird anatomy is my own phantom anatomy? I really have no explanation besides "Neg" attachment, or mismatched phantom limbs, for the pain. Or, I suppose, I could be causing it unintentionally via harmful biofeedback.

(Feel free to comment on either the beginning part about the sphere, or the later part about the dino, or on my question.)
Just an update.

I believe at this point that the pains I've been having are more likely than not due to physical activity and habitual carriage, not due to any spiritual cause. Where this puts the visualization of the bird-thing, I don't know.
"habitual carriage"?
*raises hand* Ooh, I know this one!

Carriage is the way you support and transfer weight and stresses on your body on a constant basis... posture, breathing (depth, diaphragmatic v.s. thoracic etc.), and gait are the biggest and most constant factors in carriage, but it can also pertain to specialized tasks... hand positioning in typing and piano, etc. Bad carriage results in things like carpal tunnel, foot disorders, hip and knee breakdown, shoulder and elbow stresses, neck strain and tension headaches, and even scoliosis (with which I'm exceptionally familiar).
Correcting carriage can correct many of these problems; failure to correct carriage upon detection of a problem will eventually aggravate it and cause slow weakening of muscle groups local to the stressed areas.

...unless, of course, good Chordal meant some other version of the word. :3
*laughs* Yes, Estelore got it right.

Basically what I meant is that the way I carry, or hold, my body habitually is probably the cause of the back problems. For instance, I'm typing right now with one leg folded under me and the other leg crossed over the folded one, which...would contribute to my muscles getting stuck in that position. I was a floor baby (that is, from a young age, I was raised mostly on the floor), and so I habitually fold my legs under myself when I sit -- usually not symmetrically. Sitting in a chair with both feet on the floor doesn't come naturally to me, even though it seems the easiest way to protect my back, given the present culture.

The wrist, elbow, shoulder thing is probably due to my having to lift heavy items on a regular basis, putting stress on my joints.
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