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yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
Chordal
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Post: #1
yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
yeah.

I just took a peek over at a site that had to do with Daemons and it really made me think that I'm really not a Daemon. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> It can be fun playing around, but from what I've seen...I'm probably not a Daemon. ;D At least, not at this time. And at least, not as they define "Daemon."

Energy being? Baby occultist? Hey, maybe. Human with misplaced priorities on time and a real strong imagination? Maybe. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> Human that joined with some kind of construct I made and empowered out of my own energy? Maybe!

But yeah. Being dark doesn't make you demonic. I suppose I could be demoniacal, but that's not really a good term to be taking on. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

...I need to get to work instead of typing here. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> I'll check back later and see if anyone's written anything new. Is there anything to discuss in this post? Besides how some of us have some actual role models who we aren't even close to being? Heh. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->
2012-09-09 0:42
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Noise
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Post: #2
Re: yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
Chordal Wrote:yeah.

I just took a peek over at a site that had to do with Daemons and it really made me think that I'm really not a Daemon. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> It can be fun playing around, but from what I've seen...I'm probably not a Daemon. ;D At least, not at this time. And at least, not as they define "Daemon."

What site is this? Also, it would help if you told us the definition of daemon they were using.

Quote:Energy being? Baby occultist? Hey, maybe. Human with misplaced priorities on time and a real strong imagination? Maybe. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> Human that joined with some kind of construct I made and empowered out of my own energy? Maybe!

You could also be a hippogriff. What makes you believe that the definition used by this site is the most appropriate one? In general, we run into the same problem here that you run into in general when talking demons among otherkin, that is that no one seems to agree on what they're talking about.

Quote:But yeah. Being dark doesn't make you demonic. I suppose I could be demoniacal, but that's not really a good term to be taking on. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

In what sense are we using the word dark here? As in, you resonate with concepts deemed unpleasant with culture at large, or are we talking literally dark?

Quote:...I need to get to work instead of typing here. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> I'll check back later and see if anyone's written anything new. Is there anything to discuss in this post? Besides how some of us have some actual role models who we aren't even close to being? Heh. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

I guess I can share with you my interactions with a group that called themselves demons. As a group, we shared memories of a certain place, and we all have strong affinities for nasty ideas and awful things. A common fear among members of the group was going mad and hurting those we care for. The idea of struggle and growth were the centers of our existence, stagnation was a fate worse than death, in fact a common view was that all changes were tiny deaths, and thus welcomed. So in that sense, death really was viewe as something good. Tongue

We also all felt that we were all holons of larger beings, and that our purpose was to grow and thrive until we had become these entities/rejoined them. As such, another fear was being overwhelmed/consumed by our inner natures.

It was a complicated situation. And given some of memories/impressions of I what I was/am a fragment of, I am not sure I ever want to be that entity again. But despite all this, I often find myself drawn to these ideas still, despite my protestations in another thread that shadow =\= demonic.

Also, the whole thing is just SO melodramatic! <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->
2012-09-09 1:46
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Chordal
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Post: #3
Re: yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
Just wanted to let you know that I saw this and will be coming back to it -- I have a rare moment of quiet and so I'm thinking it would be best for me to study at the moment, when there's nothing happening. But I will come back! You bring up some good questions that I can think on. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->
2012-09-09 2:00
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Chordal
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Post: #4
Re: yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
I am back! I could not concentrate, so I decided to come here, where I know I don't have to memorize things.

XD (I had oolong tea this morning, so I'm kind of hyper. Apologies in advance.)

Noise Wrote:
Chordal Wrote:I just took a peek over at a site that had to do with Daemons and it really made me think that I'm really not a Daemon. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> It can be fun playing around, but from what I've seen...I'm probably not a Daemon. ;D At least, not at this time. And at least, not as they define "Daemon."
What site is this? Also, it would help if you told us the definition of daemon they were using.
Ah, sorry. The site is the demonolatry.org forum (which has been extremely slow -- I just checked back there after months of absence, and not much has happened). Nominally, the definition that they normally use is...well, here, I'll quote fair use:

"Demon/Daemon/Daimon: Lesser spirit or god. A devil in Christian mythology. Literal meaning for Demon - 'Replete with wisdom.' Derived from the Greek 'daimon' meaning divine power." -- from p.9, _The Complete Book of Demonolatry,_ by S. Connolly, DB Publishing. ©S. Connolly 2006.

In practice, these are beings who Daemonolators build relationships with, and who may assist a Daemonolator in magical workings, meditations, divining information, or teach them information (as in Ascension to a different plane). It's said that when a person is exposed to their energy, it's very, very intense. This is said to get to the point of causing illness if one is exposed to it for too long, and thus actual Demonic possessions pretty much aren't seen to happen because they don't fit the profile. That said, this system utilizes things like sigils and enns (incantations) and traditional and family grimoires, like the Lesser Key of Solomon and notably the Dukante hierarchy.

It's not actually the best thing to identify with demons on a Demonolatry board (as people may then think that you think you're a Demon -- in their terms -- and thus are worthy of worship by Demonolators...when that's not what I think any of us are getting at when we use the term, "demon". There was some talk about this several years ago on OKP, before I was here -- Kahoku investigated the anti-demonkin spin that was in the rules of the OFS [demonolatry.org] forum at that time).

I have been a conduit/channel for some intense energy, which has caused fear at some points (and which is largely the reason why I don't meditate at present -- I often end up in an intense state, either healing or protecting or severing or grounding, to the point of psychically screaming, concentrating energy to a fine point and high concentration so as to pierce or cut, etc.), but it doesn't seem to get to the point that I've heard others talk about.

Noise Wrote:
Chordal Wrote:Energy being? Baby occultist? Hey, maybe. Human with misplaced priorities on time and a real strong imagination? Maybe. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> Human that joined with some kind of construct I made and empowered out of my own energy? Maybe!
You could also be a hippogriff.
[stupid]Hey, I saw one of those on Castlevania SOTN![/stupid]

Noise Wrote:What makes you believe that the definition used by this site is the most appropriate one? In general, we run into the same problem here that you run into in general when talking demons among otherkin, that is that no one seems to agree on what they're talking about.
Well, theirs is one of the only not-anti-Demon spins that I've seen outside of straight Satanism forums and places like dark_otherkin on LJ, and here. I agree the term is really widely used to the point of it vaguely implying some form of power and some form of social unacceptability. The thing is, anything beyond that is pretty much up for grabs.

Noise Wrote:
Chordal Wrote:But yeah. Being dark doesn't make you demonic. I suppose I could be demoniacal, but that's not really a good term to be taking on. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
In what sense are we using the word dark here? As in, you resonate with concepts deemed unpleasant with culture at large, or are we talking literally dark?
Not literally, dark. More "dark" in a Satanic sense (though not a LaVeyan Satanic sense, which is more about rebellion). I have some qualities that aren't really all that socially excusable, or which would keep me regarded as human, should they be brought to light. Most of the time I keep them under control -- but it's taken years of integrating the idea that I *do* have the capability to harm, I sometimes have a *drive* to harm, and I do have the choice to intentionally refrain from harm; to get to the point where I can constantly monitor my internal situation and thus avoid losing control to this part of myself. When I was younger, it wasn't so easy.

Noise Wrote:A common fear among members of the group was going mad and hurting those we care for.
Which is the largest reason I'm not a magician, aside from intentionally or unintentionally hurting myself.

Noise Wrote:The idea of struggle and growth were the centers of our existence, stagnation was a fate worse than death, in fact a common view was that all changes were tiny deaths, and thus welcomed. So in that sense, death really was viewe as something good. Tongue
I can very much connect with this -- especially the part where, as I've termed it, there is a cycle of dying and rebirth which happens from moment to moment. My concept of Satan, when I was active on Satanism boards, centered around the concept of change, hence, death and rebirth, and the vitality that only comes with adapting to this (though, obviously, it's unusual to want to change). It was the only common thread that I could see connecting all the Satanist members of the boards.

Noise Wrote:We also all felt that we were all holons of larger beings, and that our purpose was to grow and thrive until we had become these entities/rejoined them. As such, another fear was being overwhelmed/consumed by our inner natures.
Yeah, I can see that too -- especially if you look at the other I'm joined to being an extension of myself (a construct) who was formed during childhood, and whom I eventually re-consumed and have been trying to integrate (with attendant freak-outs when I find that I *have* integrated what he represented somewhat, and that I've moved away from my past idea of "me" and do not know if "I" am becoming "him"). But he's not the only one I have to deal with, in practicality.

Noise Wrote:But despite all this, I often find myself drawn to these ideas still, despite my protestations in another thread that shadow =\= demonic.
For me, I have a significant aspect, which I'm speaking from now, which is my Fire component...though I don't think I was aware of that at the time I called him, "Blaze." This is my strongest identity, my strongest will -- the first one to know who he was and how my system worked, when none of my other states knew who they were, or that there even was a system. Incidentally...he's the one who "came out" to himself, us, and my social group, in early college, and so it seems predictable that his is the state I want to get back to, now, I'm supposing...
2012-09-09 4:12
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Chordal
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Post: #5
Re: yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
You know, I just realized that the argument I proposed doesn't really make sense.

It's like saying, because I'm not Queen Elizabeth/Barack Obama/Kim Jong-il, I must not be human. The Dukante hierarchy and the Lemegeton (Lesser Key of Solomon) only list some fairly well-known Demons (many of whom are borrowed Deities of pre-Christian religions, subsumed into a Christian context). There are others in an Enochian family who are said to have a different quality of energy, too, which means that the beings are qualitatively different, and their vibrational locations may be different.

I mean, I could be a really commoner-type being of the daemonic plane, and just not a superstar that everybody knows, like Asmodeus or Lilith. ;D

Noise, in a different thread you were talking about investigating one's ties to see where one stood regarding whether one was a shadow or not. Do you think this would work here, as well? I know there's at least one guy who I might be able to call on. The thing is, though...*shakes head* I just remembered that I'm not supposed to be summoning "demons," in any context (and I keep to this out of respect for those I live with). But what I was going to say is that I've actually had experiences of thinking on Satanism fully and smelling a scent of sulfur that no one else could smell...

...apparently, it's a rare thing to hallucinate scents, but there you go. It's one of the things that's freaked me out.

Hmm.
2012-09-11 1:44
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Chordal
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Post: #6
Re: yeeah...guessing I'm not a daemon.
Just posting real quick to say that I actually *am* feeling demonic today. I don't know whether this has to do with arguing with family or my being alienated from their "believe you can do it and you can," approach or what, but...yeah.
2012-10-01 23:42
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