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shame
Edge
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Post: #1
shame
Just wondering... Does anyone else feel embarrassed and ashamed for being otherkin? Does anyone understand why one would feel embarrassed and ashamed? Does anyone else feel conflicted? Liking being whatever species one is because it (for lack of better terminology) feels right, but feeling ashamed of it and feeling guilt for liking it?

I'm the one with the power around here. -Rumplestiltskin
2013-05-05 3:57
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Rain
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Post: #2
Re: shame
That depends. I personally don't shout it from the rooftop and I don't particularly enjoy discussing it in person except in specific situations. Less than say I am embarrassed or ashamed for being what I am, I am uncomfortable with people perceiving me being something I am not, and I feel this topic would lead far more often to that outcome than any other.

As far as the feelings themselves, yes, I can understand them, as they were the predominant emotions associated with my gender identity, and I would parallel that the underlying reasons are most likely similar. Embarrassment and shame hold roots in one's perceived role in the society with which one associates. If one feels shame towards their identity as an otherkin, then I would put forth the possibility that the person consciously or subconsciously believes the traits associated with said identity do not mesh with their perceived societal role, be it directly or indirectly.

~~~
2013-05-05 8:26
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Edge
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Post: #3
Re: shame
I'd agree with that to an extent, but would tweak it to say said identity does not mesh with the possibility to exist.

I hate being seen as something I'm not too. According to what I've read, popular opinion is that otherkin are roleplayers and/or ugly, pathetic slobs who live in their parent's basements. Or mentally disturbed and/or trying to escape their life. I generally don't tell people because of that. I am none of those things, but I've found that people will make stuff up if it's not there.

I'm the one with the power around here. -Rumplestiltskin
2013-05-05 15:27
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Rain
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Post: #4
Re: shame
Edge Wrote:I'd agree with that to an extent, but would tweak it to say said identity does not mesh with the possibility to exist.
Yet you -- and your identity -- exists. Whether an identity is rooted in fact is largely irrelevant in its existence, only in its validation as being logical.

Quote:I hate being seen as something I'm not too. According to what I've read, popular opinion is that otherkin are roleplayers and/or ugly, pathetic slobs who live in their parent's basements. Or mentally disturbed and/or trying to escape their life. I generally don't tell people because of that. I am none of those things, but I've found that people will make stuff up if it's not there.
A stereotype, and honestly not an opinion that I come across often. Ultimately, though, why does it matter what the perceived prevailing opinion is? If you liked a type of music that the perceived prevailing opinion branded as horrible, does it make the music itself any less enjoyable to you?

~~~
2013-05-05 21:41
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Seraphyna
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Post: #5
Re: shame
I can't say that I ever have felt ashamed for my beliefs in my non-human identity. The way I see it, I have no control over an ingrained part of my being, so what is there to be ashamed of? I sort of relate it to being gay. You can't control being gay, so why be ashamed of a natural and integral part of yourself? People will always have their stereotypes (just as their will always be people who fit those stereotypes) and they will always have their misconceptions. The way I see it, it's our job to disprove them and just be who we are.

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2013-05-05 21:57
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Edge
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Post: #6
Re: shame
Rain Wrote:Ultimately, though, why does it matter what the perceived prevailing opinion is? If you liked a type of music that the perceived prevailing opinion branded as horrible, does it make the music itself any less enjoyable to you?
Yeah I need to work on that. It got a bit too ingrained as a survival instinct, but doesn't actually help with anything.
Good point, Seraphyna. I relate it to being trans seeing as it feels the same to me, but other trans people (and some non trans people) tend to take offence to that.

I'm the one with the power around here. -Rumplestiltskin
2013-05-06 5:21
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Post: #7
Re: shame
Rain Wrote:
Edge Wrote:I'd agree with that to an extent, but would tweak it to say said identity does not mesh with the possibility to exist.
Yet you -- and your identity -- exists. Whether an identity is rooted in fact is largely irrelevant in its existence, only in its validation as being logical.

If you liked a type of music that the perceived prevailing opinion branded as horrible, does it make the music itself any less enjoyable to you?

I'm hesitant to define exactly what my identity (in relation to species dysphoria and gender) is, because although my experiences and thoughts have influenced me towards it, I keep thinking that my decisions don't make complete logical sense, and that my thoughts are biased into making me think I have proven its existence, when I haven't really come close at all.

I don't identify as either gender, although I'm physically male and would fit partially into the stereotype of being such, yet at the same time I think for me to identify as male restricts expression of myself. I would have used the term "demon" as an identifier to make it easier for me to explain myself, but the word has so many different conflicting definitions that it seems meaningless for me to call myself that.

As for music: I think of Merzbow. Conventionally, it's difficult to say if what he makes (described by critics and fans as literally "noise") is even music at all, yet he has a dedicated fanbase who would argue that his albums deserve acclaim for being radically different from either popular music or modern classical music of the 80s onwards.

"Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home."
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2013-05-06 9:40
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Elinox
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Post: #8
Re: shame
Edge Wrote:Just wondering... Does anyone else feel embarrassed and ashamed for being otherkin? Does anyone understand why one would feel embarrassed and ashamed?

Ashamed? Probably not, but definitely embarrassed. Mostly as it relates to how the outside world typically thinks of us: "oh those nutjob otherkin" or "at least we're not RPing like otherkin", etc.

I think it's probably due to how we're portrayed by some people within the community. The words of the few shape how the many are perceived, you know? Sometimes when articles or TV shows portray us, I feel embarrassed to be associated with a subculture that isn't mainstream and is generally thought of as a joke by society as a whole. Nothing I can do about it, as identifying as otherkin is something very deep and personal to me, but still, I have been embarrassed about it before.

Edge Wrote:Does anyone else feel conflicted? Liking being whatever species one is because it (for lack of better terminology) feels right, but feeling ashamed of it and feeling guilt for liking it?

And I have felt conflicted because there are so many wolf therians. It always seems like to me that every time a new wolf therian joins the community you can practically hear the eye rolls and groans across the internet of "oh, another one, how boring and cliche".

Again, there's not much I can do about it, since I certainly didn't choose to be a wolf, but it has always bugged me that we seem to be questioned more and doubted more highly than any other 'kin type, at least within the strictly therian communities.

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2013-05-06 14:28
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Rain
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Post: #9
Re: shame
skorpio Wrote:I'm hesitant to define exactly what my identity (in relation to species dysphoria and gender) is, because although my experiences and thoughts have influenced me towards it, I keep thinking that my decisions don't make complete logical sense, and that my thoughts are biased into making me think I have proven its existence, when I haven't really come close at all.
*Defining* an identity and having an identity are different things. An "identity" is an intrinsic part of self that exists with or without conscious or subconscious definition. The act of defining or validating it as being logical is something else altogether. Much as the word "red" is merely a collection of symbols arranged in such a way as to indicate the actual color-oriented phenomenon, things that are "red" were such long before the word was created to define it.

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2013-05-06 20:05
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Annwyn
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Post: #10
Re: shame
Seraphyna Wrote:I can't say that I ever have felt ashamed for my beliefs in my non-human identity. The way I see it, I have no control over an ingrained part of my being, so what is there to be ashamed of? I sort of relate it to being gay. You can't control being gay, so why be ashamed of a natural and integral part of yourself? People will always have their stereotypes (just as their will always be people who fit those stereotypes) and they will always have their misconceptions. The way I see it, it's our job to disprove them and just be who we are.

This.

I have never felt ashamed for being Otherkin. The same with being part of a Multiple System. It's not like I asked for any of it or chose it. If someone has a problem with it, that's their problem and not mine.

~ Arawn

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2013-05-11 15:10
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