Hi Eli,
Maybe it's my exposure to the queer community, inclusive of the genderqueer community, which leads me to have the perspective I do...right now I'm in contact with someone who works as a mechanic, whose pronoun preference I haven't inquired on, but who seems to be a butch woman. This has actually been pretty awesome. <!-- s

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--> I've also met transmen who have identified as "butch" (not necessarily "butch women," but "butch," as a noun) prior to transition. More than one in that area, now that I'm thinking about it...in addition to people who I think of as women on the male-to-female transgender spectrum, but who may not self-identify as women. I think a large part of the problem with categorizing people into men/women boxes is that the categories, "men" and "women" are seemingly always loaded.
Although I personally don't identify as a woman, I'm taken to be one by most people (at least after they get close to me and hear me speak). But there's also the fact that a lot of women seem to be now deferring to me in a way that would happen if I were a boy.
I guess I never really updated where I was in my transition here, huh? <!-- s

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--> I'm most of the time wearing male-gendered clothing, or Misses' clothing that can pass for androgynous...not including the pink and purple that I refuse to give up. <!-- s

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--> I've found that I'm a lot more comfortable in Mens' jeans and Mens' T-shirts...no more bra straps showing! I'm not totally going all-out with the menswear, but I am appearing androgynous enough that I've been called "Sir" and "he" and "this gentleman" at work. <!-- s

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--> This has introduced a variable that I didn't entirely predict, which is young people asking me what my gender is...given that I've brought my gender expression up with management, this is kind of a case-by-case thing now.
But I am, generally speaking, a lot more comfortable now than I was, before. The thing is that I know I'm inhabiting an in-between area where I could be and likely am seen as of a variant gender, while at the same time I'm being seen as female in body (but probably something else in spirit). This is basically where I want to be -- as I think my *body image* is female while my gender identity is not. I'm just glad I found this out before trying testosterone, as I don't think that testosterone will really make me happy, at this point.
The major problem I've found with Womens' clothing, for me, is that the vast majority of it seems geared toward sending subliminal messages that one is feminine and wants to be treated in a feminine manner. I've only found this through trial-and-error and seeing what responses I've gotten while dressed fully in regular womenswear as versus the responses I've gotten in menswear, or mixed-gender-wear, or "androwear," as I should probably call it. <!-- s

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--> (For those whose first language is not English, "androwear" isn't a word <!-- s

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--> it's a neologism I just coined from "androgynous" + "wear")
So given my own travels, especially knowing some of the women I do, I would lean against characterizing human women as mostly or entirely essentially feminine...because there's a lot of social conditioning that feeds into that, and not all of it is anything one would recognize without having searched out other options and other modes of expression, and having lived in other social positions. I mean, if I hadn't gotten up the courage to shop in the Mens' Department, I wouldn't have known that Mens' T-shirts have much higher necklines than Womens', you know? Or that Mens' clothing in general is designed to hide the body, while Womens' clothing trends toward exposing the body. This in turn reflects an ingrained social power dynamic over whose bodies are deemed public property and whose are not. (Sorry, that's some of my sociology training [and its accompanying anger] coming through...)
But I had to have a really strong amount of volition to shop in the Mens' section, because there are a lot of really strong messages out there that stepping outside of one's assigned social-position box is dangerous and disgusting and wrong, while inhabiting one's assigned box is "right." Most people don't have a strong enough discomfort to not only question, but also take action, on embodying themselves as something other than what they're told they should be. The place I'm at now is basically a much more comfortable one for me, but also paradoxically a more socially vulnerable place to inhabit -- in regard to anti-trans and anti-everything-not-heteronormative violence -- while it at the same time gives some protection from outright misogynist violence (which I still experience from time to time while dressed femininely).
In my case, I kind of take a broad-range look at this and what I see in many/most people who are female who identify as women who also present as feminine...basically, I see unexamined lives and a lot of societal conditioning and a lot of fear (as we're told to have of being something other than feminine) and insecurity (as capitalist culture tries to drum into us, in order to sell products like depilatory creams). That's not to say that femininity isn't a valid social expression, because it is -- it's just not the *only viable* social expression, and it shouldn't be seen as the *only acceptable* social expression for women. But unless one's in the not-heteronormative or not-cissexual* community, there's little chance that one would ever really see and take consideration that there are other options.
*cissexual = non-transgendered and non-genderqueer
What came up for me when I read your response, Eli, was the question of if there ever was a time when you did not think of yourself as otherkin, and I was wondering if there was more comfort for you as regards your gender identity after awakening.