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"i" vs. "we"
kahoku
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Post: #1
"i" vs. "we"
in another otherkin forum, i was just told that i sounded like a roleplayer and lacked credibility. well, i had somehow expected a reaction like this to come sooner or later, and talked to them. it soon turned out that what bothered them most was us talking as "we".

now we don't always talk like that, only when more than one headmate agrees to or thinks something. but apparently they took that as me suffering from mpd or something, which is not what i said i was. they said it defied our claims of independence.

most multiples i know talk as "we". has anyone got this reaction to using this form?

*kahoku

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2010-06-24 15:15
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Ausse
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Post: #2
Re: "i" vs. "we"
We've had that problem before, though it was thoroughly ignored by a few of our more stubborn headmates. Though I'm not really sure why anyone would think that you're role-playing, personally. Otherkin-ness (In my opinion) is a pretty serious matter, and if one can take others as they are (Singletons, I mean), why can't they just accept a multiple like they do the rest? Meh.
2010-06-24 17:46
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kahoku
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Post: #3
Re: "i" vs. "we"
the problem wasn't the multiplicity itself but the fact that two new headmates arrived.

*kahoku

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2010-06-24 21:56
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thetwins
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Post: #4
Re: "i" vs. "we"
Can't say we have gotten disbelief as a reaction much. And when we weren't believed it had nothing to do with whether or not we used 'we' or 'I'. And we do use both from time to time. In part depending on situation and if we remember to use 'I' in some areas or not. We have also found that the usage of 'we' doesn't always get a response to begin with. Or if it does get noticed people don't always bring it up to us.

Now if someone told us they felt we were role-players because we use 'we' and the others here returned to surface along the way, on a polite day we'd tell them to get stuffed. On a bad day we might make suggestions what to use. On a really bad day we might offer to help insert it. *coughs* We mostly do try to be nice, sometimes we can't be bothered to.

Carn

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2010-06-26 3:37
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Archer
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Post: #5
Re: "i" vs. "we"
I am in a near constant state of plurality, by which I mean "Say" and "Talmon" are both constantly conscious to varying degrees. Sometimes both are there equally, sometimes one is fainter than the other, but it's very rare for one to be entirely asleep. While I now use the name Archer in a lot of places, including in RL, I originally signed up to otherkin forums with it because I wasn't comfortable using "Say", which is a name that refers entirely to the one part of me (and also a name I use in RL).

So yeah, speaking as "we" is something I do most all the time, because we're both in here sharing consciousness and control and emotion and idea. On the other hand, I would only use the pronoun "we" if I was in a multiple-related discussion and was emphasising the difference between the different people that make me up. I think of myself as one person made up of bits of two other people, so "me" is appropriate.

What was it that got the negative reaction - you speaking for all of you, or you using the pronoun "we"? If the latter, perhaps they felt that using "we" was some kind of conscious attempt to seem different from other people, which the interpreted as roleplaying. Speaking as "we" doesn't strike me as being remotely like MPD. I mean if you're able to speak as "we" then that implies against MPD, because it implies there's no (or little) dissociation and that you have insight into your psychology. Dissociation is a defining characteristic of MPD (or Dissociative Identity Disorder, to use the more modern term in at least some parts of the world) - if you don't lose consciousness from one person to another you don't have DID. Likewise insight is not a hallmark of DID. It's unusual for someone with DID to understand that they have more than one identity.

The issue of whether or not MPD/DID are the same thing as multiplicity is another issue in itself, of course. (In my view, being two or more separate people who end up in one body is something fundamentally different from being one person who seals off parts of themself for protection.) Whether MPD/DID even exists as commonly portrayed is another. But no, talking as "we" does not imply to me either roleplaying or mental illness.

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2010-07-01 23:59
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Starwind
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Post: #6
Re: "i" vs. "we"
I'm never entirely alone, when I drop below a certain number (not quite sure what that is, but I'd have to say that there's still at least two of us awake, because the gut feeling is more "we're all alone in the universe!" than "I'm all alone in the universe!" - if I couldn't reach anybody else at all, I think I'd panic) I get this very lonely, disturbing feeling of being cut off from...well, something. Difficult to describe and unpleasant as hell, but even before that hits, when I can't tell how many of us are all smooshed in together and no one in particular is trying to run the show, we still tend to use "I" out of habit even if "we" is more appropriate. Because of not wanting people anywhere else to *know* there's a "we". You may notice that I've been using them interchangeably in my recent posts here. It's still a more or less unified front, depending on the place/time/needs/etc.

How can it defy a claim of independence any more than one person speaking for a group of other people in a 1:1 person to body ratio do so? It just makes it easier to hear if only one person talks at a time.

My people are quite capable of telling their roleplaying characters from themselves, just as a singleton would be. Well, as I assume a singleton would be. Perhaps more so, since characters do tend to get played by more than one person, the way things work here. (maybe that's why it takes me so long to write a post???)

"I" often refers to unusually large values of 1...
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2011-02-14 12:20
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Pyewacket
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Post: #7
Re: "i" vs. "we"
I have no problem with multiples using 'we'. None at all. :3
2011-02-15 9:48
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Starwind
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Post: #8
Re: "i" vs. "we"
But does it confuse you if people drop in and out, or contribute their thoughts by yelling to those further in front, causing the use of both "I" and "we" in a single paragraph? *evil grin* I think that might be what's happening, someone else has something to say in the middle of what I've been thinking and a "we" gets dropped in past the brain filter because we're suddenly brought back to awareness of we-ness.

That sounds...small. I don't want to say I have a "we-ness", thanks. (The girls in the back of the room are giggling, and the boys seem to be glaring and hissing at them...when they devolve to throwing objects, does it cause the body headaches?)

"I" often refers to unusually large values of 1...
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2011-02-21 13:59
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thetruthbetween
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Post: #9
Re: "i" vs. "we"
Starwind Wrote:That sounds...small. I don't want to say I have a "we-ness", thanks. (The girls in the back of the room are giggling, and the boys seem to be glaring and hissing at them...when they devolve to throwing objects, does it cause the body headaches?)

... I'm laughing my ass off over here and my mom keeps asking me what's so funny LOL Luckily, I've gotten to the point that all I have to say it "Oh, just something someone said online" and she's all, "Oh. *wanders off*" But seriously, that totally sounds like something that would happen in my head. Not that I'm a multiple, I'm not, but I'm a writing, and I have Muses, which I guess is sorta like an artificial multiplicity?

But on the topic at hand, I always have to do a double-take when someone starts breaking out the "we" in posts. But I'm still relatively new to the idea of Otherkin as a whole, outside of myself, so... I sorta have to go, "Oh, right, multiples" and it's all good. I certainly can't see how someone would see it as RPers, tho. That doesn't even make logical sense, TBH.

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2011-02-21 17:55
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