Would you believe that I wrote this entire introduction from the bottom up?
My online handle is Veruca. I've only recently come back to the Internet-in-general, and this is first Otherkin community that I've actually decided to join [or, at least, join beyond lurking and then leaving in disgust at moderator behaviour]. I'm an eighteen year old college student currently studying nursing, and I'd like to work in neuro-surgery or speech pathology. I plan on moving to Arizona in my thirties, for no other reason than waking up one morning, wanting it, and that want not fading. I love ball-jointed dolls, Pokémon and theatre. When I was four years old, I wanted to be a mermaid. I identify as a wolf.
Being a wolf isn't something that can be easily explained, even though I've seen that people here have been asked to explain [over and over, and sometimes in a passive-aggressive fashion] why they are x
. If you choose to think of my attempt at an explanation as invalid, then I ask you not to comment, because I have tried and you can't expect anything more from me than to try
- therianthropy is not an exact science and will never be any sort of science [not even a pseudo-science], and it frustrates me when people treat it as such. I wouldn't even call it a philosophy, but that's just me and my scepticism toward pack behaviour and negative attitudes in general.
To me, wolf is something integral to my spirit and my being. There is no defined 'wolf side' and no defined 'human side'. To a degree, they overlap and intertwine. My actions, my behaviour, my thought processes, are not entirely human. They are heavily tainted with a certain aspect of wolfishness. I can't adequately explain this because I can't adequately explain what it is to be a human, let alone what it is to be a wolf. To me, something as personal as therainthropy is so flippy-floppy between different people that it's quite impossible to explain. I don't pretend to know the 'source' of my therianthropy, and I will calmly state that I don't actually care about it's so-called source. I care about the way that it affects my life and my perception of reality, and I care about how being 'kin affects others in these areas.
I've spent a while [see - three years] pondering over whether I'm a dingo or a wolf; dingoes are slightly more native to where I live [given that we have wild dingoes, despite their origination in Vietnam], are loosely pack-oriented and have the same basic anatomy as wolves. I spent a while thinking that I couldn't possibly actually be any species of wolf [or coyote, for that manner] due to the fact that there are no wild wolves in Australia. I had decided [wrongly] that 'kintypes must have some direct correlation to a person's place of residence, in order to be influenced enough to consciously experience your therianthropy [rather than unconsciously]. I decided against this, eventually, when arguments for wolves vs. dingoes drew no distinctive differences except for a gut feeling that wolf was right, and dingo was wrong.
I understand that wolves are a common theriotype, and I also understand that plenty of wolf furries call themselves wolf therians. I understand that people think that there are too many wolves, and that we can't all possibly be wolves. I, however, am a cheerful optimist who [in what I see to be a good display of pack-influenced behaviour, despite a slightly asocial personality] is actually pleased with the high numbers of wolves present in the Otherkin subculture. I can't pretend to understand why there is such a high prevalence of wolves in the subculture, and I can't pretend to know whether or not the majority [or minority, for that manner] are "faking it", because therianthropy is a personal thing that differs from person to person; I don't know how I myself came to be a therian, and so it's not up to me [or anybody else] to judge how somebody else came to be one.
I suppose that I'm trying to be as prepared as possible for the criticism that I know I'm likely to receive on account of my theriotype; I could've introduced myself with far less and it would have been an adequate amount of information for you to know who I am, but I'd rather fend off any accusations that I'm somehow wishing this upon myself [as I've seen to happen in various Otherkin forums, especially one which seems to ban people at the drop of a hat...
;]. I hope that this hasn't come across as defensive, as a result, because the tone I've intended for is an explanatory one. Feel free to shoot any questions at me, but please note that I do not respond well to gruff questions; I don't treat other people gruffly, and I respond negatively when I'm treated gruffly in turn.