another paralysis dream -- past lives?

A note: I do recall the links to the Astral Dynamics website, though I'm looking through my own copy of Bruce's book now. *sighs*

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Chordal Wrote:But in this case it hurt more to force myself not to desire, than it did to desire and then not have physical gratification.

Clipping this from another post which I just addressed.

Alright, so I have finally (FINALLY) finished Psychic Self-Defense by Dion Fortune. It took some work to get through the last part of the book, and much eye-rolling. But anyhow, I have found some material in there which could help with understanding, despite the religious talk towards the end. (A.k.a. "psychic self-defense [for Christians].")

What I want to address here is the idea that Fortune puts forth, that some illnesses are the result of, basically, having been trained to gain abilities psychically in past lives -- and once reincarnate, the "power" (as she says) stays with you, but the knowledge and training does not. She also put forth an idea about people who had joined Orders in past lives remaining connected to those Orders in the present (via "rapport"), and seeking them out in subsequent lives (or being used by them in subsequent lives).

I've now started Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce, in preparation for his Practical Psychic Self-Defense. I took a look at Michelle Belanger's Psychic Energy Codex and thought I'd give Astral Dynamics a try first, as groundwork.

Anyhow. The thing I wanted to address -- I'm still getting these dreams when I oversleep where I'm stuck in one place and can't move. This would seem to correlate to Bruce's "Expanded Energy Body"...which I just leave here as a hint to anyone who might "get" what I'm talking about, because I certainly don't fully know what I'm talking about (I only just began the book). Last time this happened was yesterday, when I can recall being (in-dream) wrapped up in my sheets...only reason I mention that is that it gives a hint as to what is going on, which I probably shouldn't talk about forthrightly.

...anyway. Couldn't move, something went by about my purity, I'm not sure who said it. Ended up arching my back and yelling "Just [darken] me," or something -- the [darken] part is something I'm unclear on; I'm not sure it was an English word. I can recall the meaning but not the syllables. "Taint," "stain," "dye," those work as well.

So like with one of those little Paint fill-buckets, something "touched" me (I didn't feel it) and the upper part of my body darkened a little. I note that in this part of the dream, I was viewing myself from outside. Then, relaxing, I started thinking about being "shadow-touched" and wondering about the similarities. Then I started being concerned about consequences (of course, afterward). I do think, however, that it wasn't really real, just something to quiet me.

BUT. I'm wondering about the influences of any past-life history going on here that I'm unaware of, which has linked me with a certain number of spirits who...well, for one thing, I seem to have much in common with, and who have been friendly and helpful and accepting to me, but for another thing, are not altogether "shiny happy people." They're various flavors of "misunderstood," sometimes irrevocably misunderstood. <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_confused.gif" alt=":?" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> Sexuality and bondage have been a pretty strong undercurrent in these dreams, as well as with the dark spirit visitor I spoke about elsewhere (sans bondage -- unless thinking for a long while that I was in effect his spiritual "child" is bondage). Also with my relationship with my walk-in -- that's pretty bonded as well (her to him, though this is her body), though he earns his place.

And I made a comment IRL recently which I realized after the fact, could have been taken to mean that I was willing to work without wages and give away my assistance, so long as I could continue doing what I loved to do, and was comfortably supported. (I still have an uncertain relationship with money -- I need enough to live comfortably and do what I want to do, but beyond that, it isn't necessary.) Which...at the very least, points towards an economy not based on money.

I suppose I'm having a moral conflict. I generally don't view myself as submissive -- power conflicts were the reason I (well, the reason Adrian) ended my last relationship. To...heh...not over-speak. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->

But if all these spirits who are assisting or befriending me, in one way or another, are from past lives -- it makes me curious about the past lives. It also makes me curious about what circles I've been traveling in; and if Fortune is accurate, what groups I might be unaware of, but still part of, which could be contributing to my present illness -- whether by my having gained abilities in the past and now lacking means to control them; or by some untoward thing like energy drainage, happening via psychic link.

How do people do past life recall?

I'm hoping if I continue in my studies, I'll find a solution to being essentially awake and stuck in a sleeping body.

EDIT: I just realized; my thinking I could be a demon could be related to my being an open channel and taking on the identities of others in spirit...

Just throwing this out there, but have you considered that the paralysis dreams are from sleep paralysis? I tend to be a little skeptical, personally, of attributing a spiritual/metaphysical/whatever explanation to instances of being awake-but-asleep and unable to move or paralysis dreams, because it is a known phenomena with a completely scientific explanation.

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Just putting it out there for you to consider <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->

Yeah; the thing about the way I think, though...you've gotta understand that, for example, the term "supernatural" doesn't make sense in my book, unless we're talking about things that don't happen and can never happen (outside of fictional stories). I realize you didn't use that term, but I mention it in order to contextualize my point.

There is nothing that I experience which I believe to be beyond natural...unless we're limiting the use of the term "natural" to "that which has been or can be explained by science." And certain things -- like meaning -- cannot be appreciably explained by, at least, the hard sciences. The soft sciences can try, but really the person doing the inquiry may soon regret having inquired...very likely because not all factors were taken into account. I realize logic falls in here too, but logic itself is fallible and does not work in every case.

So even though this is the first time to memory that I've actually consciously *linked* the idea of "sleep paralysis" with what's going on with me, the personal significance of what I experience while in sleep paralysis, is something that science can't answer.

I'm aware that there is a physiological explanation -- I had a Scientific Rationalist doctor for several years. We got along because she respected my thought process and I respected hers -- as different and incommensurable, and both with value. I'm also aware that a question like, "What does it mean to be alive?" garnering the explanation, "You're alive because your circulatory system is functioning," doesn't even touch the core meaning of the question.

In my interpretation (which could be wrong), you seem to be saying that what I experience in sleep paralysis, to you, is without meaning because there is a completely physical (or in your words, "completely scientific") explanation for the phenomenon. Therefore I should also see it as without meaning. Correct me if I am wrong?

What I perceive has meaning to me. My experience has meaning to me. And I choose what explanations work best for whatever time I'm at in my life, allowing for the fact that there are other interpretations.

--Adrian

(Apologies if that was too direct.)

Not quite what I meant. I simply meant to provide additional information, if you didn't already have it. I've seen a lot of people saying that they were being psychically attacked or attributing other "supernatural" explanations to sleep paralysis, when it turned out that all it was was a natural phenomena. I'm one of those people who like to research and come to an informed conclusion, so I just wanted to make sure that you knew about it.

Personally, I don't discount the idea that instances of paralysis while sleeping could be caused by an outside source, or that they could have a deeper meaning to the person experiencing them. I just like to look at all angles, and tend to think others should, too <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> (I'm rather Libra like that.)

Chordal Wrote:How do people do past life recall?

Generally, I mind my own business doing every day things when BAM something hits me in the FACE like a LEAD TWO-BY-FOUR leaving my nose BROKEN and BLOOD all over the place . . . and I have more memories than I did 30 seconds before hand.

Past life recall is one of those things that, unfortunately, I think it's difficult (or impossible) to reliably provoke.