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an otherkin's "life cycle"
kahoku
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Post: #1
an otherkin's "life cycle"
i've been a member of the community for a while now, and i've seen people come and go, searching and finding, talking and learning. recently, i discovered that there seems to be some kind of "life cycle" for most people. let me know what you think.

this article does not consider wishkin and human-kin, it's complicated enough without them.

here's also a little sketch of everything. i thought it might be easier to look at it while reading my essay. it might resemble a state diagram (for those who know a bit of uml)... <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: -->

[Image: ok_cycle.gif]

before we stumble over the term "otherkin", we might believe we are "normal". however, most of us think they are somewhat different, but few know in what way (usually past lives). of course, these things can change over time.

then, in one way or the other, we discover otherkin. (or not, but again, that is not considered since all of us here know it.)

some of us blatantly reject the idea. perhaps it goes against their morales, their background, religion, or they simply aren't ready for it yet.
others get excited. finally there's an explanation to everything! tell me more about it! what kin type could i be? ...well, some get overly excited. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->
others react with shyness, fear, or even denial. they may want to "un-know", want to be "normal" again, and the thought that this is impossible frightens them even more. this is one of the phases where many people stop and simply (try to) reject the idea. some will return after a while (that's not in my picture). still, most of these will overcome their shyness or simply learn by watching and reading.

as we learn more, we get more confident in our knowledge and eventually start helping people new to the community, monitoring forums, maybe modding, perhaps even starting our own forum, answering questions, writing articles... that's what i call "active help".
it must be said that, at this point, some people overdo it. the activity curve goes upwards, their lives are focused on otherkin, they may "discover" millions of kin types in themselves, or have other fanciful ideas. i tend to stay away from those, so i can't tell how the story continues for them - do they lose interest very quickly at some point or does the curve flatten like the normal curve would? perhaps someone can tell me.

anyway. after a while it gets too stressful, or we feel like everything has been said, nothing is new. another troll is dealt with, another new person asking what they could be, another poll about past live eye colors is started. been there, done that. of course we still help people, but only if they ask. that's the "passive help".

so, over time, the activity level decreases. the excitement is gone, and we have come from "it's sooo exciting, it changed my life" over "it's normal, being kin is a part of me" to "it is. no point in thinking about it really."
Most people stop bothering with otherkin forums at some point and move on with their lives, still believing in being "other", but not worrying about it too much, it has become a part of them like their nose - it's always there but do you think about having a nose every day?

some people who lose interest even believe it was only a phase, and switch to "rejection".

one more word about the "rejection" block: i have seen people dropping out and refusing to ever deal with kinship again at any stage, but mostly in the first and last part of the picture. in the middle, it mostly happens because of bad experience with "the community". again, too many arrows would have made it unreadable.


i hope you liked this little treatise, please let me know what you think!

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2008-10-20 19:08
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Motley
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Post: #2
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
I've got to run, so just a short comment....looks about right to me. People can cycle in and out of rejection a number of times.

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"I inherited the spirit of the sun. I'll meet you when the day breaks through. It's time to shine and make all your dreams come true. Come on, wish upon a dog star!" -Hybrid
2008-10-20 19:13
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Deros
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Post: #3
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
I find it amazing how easily people can be put to a chart. Despite that, I think that this is accurate as far as my (untrained, suggestible) mind can see, and can more or less see where I would fit in (not exactly on any line, but there's a place nonetheless).

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2008-10-20 19:17
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kahoku
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Post: #4
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
i don't really consider it a chart to put people in, it's very rough and everything varies from person to person - at what activity level do you stop active help and start with the passive one? how long does it take to get there, if you get there at all?

it's rather an analysis of tendency... or something. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

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2008-10-20 19:42
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Miniar
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Post: #5
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
you're missing the "massive self delusion" and "I want to be different" bubbles.

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2008-10-20 20:26
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chaitea
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Post: #6
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
Freetha Wrote:you're missing the "massive self delusion" and "I want to be different" bubbles.

that's cause the wishkin were excluded from this chart

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2008-10-20 20:32
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Divinitywolf
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Post: #7
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
Its a fairly accurate chart i think and i can understand people losing interest.
I havent been around in a while due to increased work/a lot of other interests.

So i'm not sure if i completely fit in.
Maybe i just go very slowly along the chart <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

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2008-10-20 20:57
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Post: #8
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
'hoku, you have way too much free time <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> Nice work!

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2008-10-20 21:06
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Shiari
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Post: #9
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
It does seem fairly accurate for how people typically come into the community. It amuses me that I don't particularly fit into this chart though. *laughs* I discovered the word 'otherkin' nearly 5 years after my awakening and figuring out what I was. Thus I rather skipped the first half.
2008-10-20 22:21
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Motley
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Post: #10
Re: an otherkin's "life cycle"
Freetha Wrote:you're missing the "massive self delusion" and "I want to be different" bubbles.

That fits under the excitement bubble. Ever listen to kids talk? "I'm the fastest runner ever!" "Isn't this the best picture you ever saw?" "I'm gonna grow up to the sky!" Baby kin talk the same way. It's natural. And since they're in the excitement phase they may say it more often then those who have grown into it a bit and discovered that after a number of years they still can't change their shape, and the grand global awakening still hasn't happened.

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2008-10-20 23:15
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