Some of you might recognize me from the Werelist. *waves* I'm also trying out a couple other boards, so this intro might look familiar.
I thought I'd try out an Otherkin forum. The Werelist has helped me a lot, but I'd like to branch out a little and meet some new people.
I'm in my 20s, studying veterinary technology, a wildlife rehabber, a pagan priest, gender-neutral, and otherkin. I tried really hard to identify as therian for a while, because that seemed less crazy to me, but I'm not a "real" creature. I'm a combination of wolf, snake, and human, that is not really any of those species, but those species are close to the right shape. The thing that is me has a scaly muzzle like a cross between a wolf and a python, wolflike ears, neck ruff, and pawpads, scaly or smooth skin over the rest of the body, digitigrade legs, a long skinny tail, sharp teeth, and claws. It is bipedal and not so much animal as just nonhuman-intelligent. It is more reptilian than mammalian and has no gender.
This is the thing that I am. I have always felt this is my "real" shape, throughout my life. It's nothing new. I didn't so much Awaken as become OK with feeling the way I always had. I have phantom claws, pawpads, muzzle, ears, ruff, and tail. Also phantom scales or a feeling of "there ought to be scales here." I have always identified as nonhuman deep-down. I don't like being human, but I've come to accept that I am human in this life.
I did a lot of repressing in high school and college, trying to "grow up" and stop being "escapist." I put that part of myself in a box and tried to pretend it wasn't integral to me. I got very sick, very depressed, and ended up on heavy doses of psychiatric medication. Long story short, I converted to paganism and began reading and discovering that other people felt the way I did, and even if I was crazy, it was a functional kind of crazy. I let myself be myself and I've been much healthier and happier since then. I don't care if I'm living in a fantasy or being escapist. I feel whole. I'm no longer trying to be something I'm not.
No one could question my identity more than I have, so criticism is welcome.