Why are you here?
Less a stating of reasons than open pondering. Please feel free to help one another through this process, becuase sometimes what we think is not always truth. The usual disclaimer: take things with a grain of salt and do NOT be critical of people.
WARNING: very sappy/ emotional stuff here.
I am not here on a mission, I am not here for some grand purpose. I am not here becuase I'm a hero of heaven and I'm not here to teach.
I am punished.
I'm punished though not as severely as others becuase my crime is not against God directly but against myself. I will explain.
I am on the fence, a neutral. I always have and probably always will be as that is how God made me. My friend and I were discussing it and she thought that being on earth, or being in the middle was my punishment for not being on god's side completely in the holy war. This is somewhat true but the truth is far more inscideous than that. God hasn't punished me for the action of assisting Lucifer, he has not punished me for being in the middle as that is why he made me the way I am. He has punished me for being untrue to my nature. He punished me for trying to change myself to be more like others who, I felt, were better than me. He is punishing me for trying so desperatly to "pick a side" when I was not built for such an action. He as placed me here to learn that though I am different, and though I've hated myself for it in the past I am just as beautiful as the highest angels. I still have major issues with myself. whenever relationships with friends or lovers fail I always feel its becuase I'm unlovable, that it's all my fault for not being a better person. This is something I need to learn from, and I think in his mercy he placed me here, in the perfect neutral area to learn from my mistakes and to learn to love myself and embrace my purpose.
I feel now that it is in my power to help heal long standing wounds. I love fallens, holy angel,s demons, slugs, and everything equally. And I think through me and those like me healing can happen. Still I'm far from being done here, and I will continue to be punished not from God, but from my own lack of confidence in myself if i do not learn that I am from god, therefore I'm beautiful.
At least this is what I currently feel is true. If anyone gets vibes from this as true or false please let me know here or in PM, doesn't matter to me.
How about you all...why are you really here?
- Weavy ( oh snap!)
The space between two horizons...