Trapped...(CAution: Rant)

So, I'm here back in NY, where I grew up. Spent 20 years with my family, and went to Ohio on a trip to visit friends of mine.

I'm back in NY now, to visit my parents for Mother's day and my mom's birthday, and feel like such a burden...

I've been nothing but b*tchy. Why? Well, to start off...my parents suffocated me my 20 years here. Mainly my mom's fault. I won't go into it too much, but when I moved to Ohio in with my friends, I got a taste of freedom...

And a couple weeks ago I brought up to my mom "Well, why don't I come back down here for a week in May for mother's day?" She was thrilled with the idea. I've only been here for 2 hours, and already I feel like screaming out in angst.

Maybe it's silly, and I don't doubt that it is, very silly, but now that I've had a taste of freedom, being back here makes me feel as if I've been thrown into a cage and am clawing to try and get out. My mom was following me around the pet store today and it's like, "Freakin' hell, get OFF my back! x_X"

I don't know.. I'm sorry to be ranting, I truly am. And then I come back.. to find out my cat is about 10x more obese than she was when I left. Don't get me wrong..I know it's bad for her health, I KNOW. But she was only slightly overweight when I left, and now? Oh god.. she's so bad.... And that set me off, I turned around and immediately started b*tching at my mom.

On MOther's Day. I feel terrible lashing out on this day. But it's just... getting that freedom, and coming back to this house, feeling suffocated and trapped...and coming back to find out the cat is in deplorable condition...

I was petting her and a CLUMP of her fur came off!

And when I told my mom I was going to take her back with me t Ohio regardless of what she said, my mom was like, "Oh really? I don't think so." And got all pissy and defensive. And it's like..well you know, obviously I can't trust you withf eeding her and getting her healthy.

..am I making too big a deal out of this? I'm due to go back to Ohio in 10 days, but the opportunity is open for 3-4. I don't think I'll make it through 10 days.

You're pointing out the reason for the saying 'you can never go home again.' I completely understand how it can get under your skin, but try not to lash out. Remember most parents (I say all but I had the idea challenged too many times) are trying to do their best. If you take the cat try to make the removal civil. As import as her health is, obesity is is far from the worst your mom could be doing to her and not worth destroying that maternal relationship over.
When I'm home I try to keep in mind my mother's motives, it help me deal with most of it. I hope the rest of the week goes well.

misha tia Wrote:You're pointing out the reason for the saying 'you can never go home again.' I completely understand how it can get under your skin, but try not to lash out. Remember most parents (I say all but I had the idea challenged too many times) are trying to do their best. If you take the cat try to make the removal civil. As import as her health is, obesity is is far from the worst your mom could be doing to her and not worth destroying that maternal relationship over.
When I'm home I try to keep in mind my mother's motives, it help me deal with most of it. I hope the rest of the week goes well.

Agreed, and I felt much the same way when I graduated college - end of my freedom and all. I survived, got out of the house a few times a month and now I am moved out and 1500 miles away thanks a series of fortunate events <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->. It's not like you're gonna be living with your parents for a few millennia or something <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s -->.

misha tia Wrote:You're pointing out the reason for the saying 'you can never go home again.' I completely understand how it can get under your skin, but try not to lash out. Remember most parents (I say all but I had the idea challenged too many times) are trying to do their best. If you take the cat try to make the removal civil. As import as her health is, obesity is is far from the worst your mom could be doing to her and not worth destroying that maternal relationship over.
When I'm home I try to keep in mind my mother's motives, it help me deal with most of it. I hope the rest of the week goes well.

Yeah. I talked to several friends about the situation with the cat, and they seemed to think she was overeating over being depressed that I'd left. And sure enough, since I've been here for a couple days now, her activity level has returned to what it used to be before I left. In telling my mom that, though, it made it that much more easier for her to agree that I take Cookie back to OH with me.

Thanks, though <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> I started feeling better later that night, but the silence starts making me edgy so I find myself talking out loud or turning on the radio to make myself feel better.

Kreyas Wrote:Agreed, and I felt much the same way when I graduated college - end of my freedom and all. I survived, got out of the house a few times a month and now I am moved out and 1500 miles away thanks a series of fortunate events <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->. It's not like you're gonna be living with your parents for a few millennia or something <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- s -->.

True that. I already warned them that I wouldn't be able to stay clammed up in here for the whole entire week, I'd go insane.

Some people got great parents, some people got sucky ones.

Leaving a cat like that, though, baffles me - like leaving a child with grandparents to raise <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->

Archer Wrote:Some people got great parents, some people got sucky ones.

Leaving a cat like that, though, baffles me - like leaving a child with grandparents to raise <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->

Leaving a cat in what terms? Leaving/moving out randomly or leaving a cat fat?

pelagic_soul Wrote:

Archer Wrote:Some people got great parents, some people got sucky ones.

Leaving a cat like that, though, baffles me - like leaving a child with grandparents to raise <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->

Leaving a cat in what terms? Leaving/moving out randomly or leaving a cat fat?

The former. Like I said though, to me leaving a cat when it's *your cat* is like walking out on your kid.

Archer Wrote:

pelagic_soul Wrote:

Archer Wrote:Some people got great parents, some people got sucky ones.

Leaving a cat like that, though, baffles me - like leaving a child with grandparents to raise <!-- s:shock: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_eek.gif" alt=":shock:" title="Shocked" /><!-- s:shock: -->

Leaving a cat in what terms? Leaving/moving out randomly or leaving a cat fat?

The former. Like I said though, to me leaving a cat when it's *your cat* is like walking out on your kid.

Well, by rights she's the family cat, but I call her my cat because...well, I feel like she's mine.

pelagic_soul Wrote:Well, by rights she's the family cat, but I call her my cat because...well, I feel like she's mine.

Well if she's "the family" cat, then "the family" have the right to screw up her health if they want to- sad but true.