Toy Land

Edited - 09/12/08

A Comparison Of Religious Theories

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys wins.
Hare Krishna - He who plays with the most toys wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys wins.
Anglican - They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
Baptist -- We have played with this toy this way for years, and we are not going to change.
Church of Christ Scientist - We are the toys.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Hedonism - To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music loses.
Calvinist - Once played, always played.
Jehovah’s Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk wins.
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism - We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Apathy - Toys? Why do I need toys?
Judaism - I’m selling toys. You buying?
Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
Church of Scientology - Toys ‘R’ Us.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
B’Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
Baha'i Faith -- Let's play with our toys together.
Quaker - He who plays with the green army men, loses
Non-denominationalism - We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.
Liberalism - I feel good playing with toys, don't you. That is why I know I am going to heaven
Republicans - If you don't repeal this tax on all toys, you will go to hell.
Presbyterian- These toys were chosen for you to play with and these were chosen for me to play.
Apostolic Faith (Oneness Movement) - There is only one toy, and it is in our church.
Crystal Cathedral - There are no bad toys, and no bad toy players.
Methodist - Toys are toys are toys.
Assembly of God -It doesn't matter how you play with the toys as long as more people join in with you.
Name-it-Claim-it - I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys.
Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more toys."
Witchcraft - Toy making is killing our Earth Goddess.
Lutheranism - We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work, lest anyone should boast).
Buddhist - The toy is an illusion.
Buddhist, take 2 - Desire for toys brings suffering.
Unitarian Universalist - What do you mean, it's weird to play with all these different toys together?
Satanist - These aren't bad toys; the majority just thinks they are.
Satanist - My toy defected from the toy maker
Asatru - It's not just about the green army men. Although they are nice...
Seidh - Play with your toys under the sheets.
Lokean - Wanna be my toy?


Angels - Toys with wings rock!
Angels - My toy doubles as a flashlight
Dragons - He who's toys shoot fire wins.
Vampire - Of course my toy sucks.
Therians - Stuffed animals are cuddly.
Elven - I like my toy bow.
Fae - Wooden toys are best.
Demons - Don't you dare compare my toys with the angel's!
Multiples - We need more toys.
Multiples - Our toys combined, we have super robot toys!
Multiples - My toy transforms
Walk-ins - So does mine
Walk-Ins - This toy needs aftermarket accessories

Twilight Wrote:Dragons - He who's toys shoot fire wins.

Yes! Let's see you play with melted plastic! *has a laughing fit*

Wonderful stuff, Twi.

I totally read toys as boys......

That sure made some of them pretty interesting to read XD

And there's no satanism there. Poor satanists.

Multiples - By our toys combined, we have super robot toy!
Walk-Ins - This toy needs aftermarket accessories.

Unitarian Universalist - What do you mean, it's weird to play with all these different toys together?
Satanist - These aren't bad toys; the majority just thinks they are.
Asatru - It's not just about the green army men. Although they are nice...
Seidh - Play with your toys under the sheets.
Lokean - Wanna be my toy?
Buddhist - The toy is an illusion.
Buddhist, take 2 - Desire for toys brings suffering.

-Rhun

I updated the toy list with the suggestions

Energy beings: My toy has strings attached.

Chaotic beings: My playdoh has strings attached.

Shadows: You can't see my toys!

Some fictional ones (from Discworld):

The Way of Ms. Cosmopolite: Toys don't pay for themselves, y'know
Yen Buddhism: The best toys cost the most money
Listening Monks: Stop playing with those toys, it's too noisy
The Monks of Cool: Toys are for dorks