This is something that's been really bugging me....

I've lived with in part of a multiple system for over a year and a half now, with every going just fine until the recent few months. Contact has gone from almost constant, to going weeks at a time without even a simple ping or tap on the shoulder. With having not a word in such a lengthy time, it almost feels like I'm becoming an empty shell. And with over thirty some of us there, going from a bunch to none in that amount of time feels really odd.

So, most of what this post is for, is to see if any of you possibly have any coping methods on the lack of headmate contact (like when one person is at the front for months at a time, and no one else seems to be alive). Or any answers that could help in general. I'm really rather worried, but I think that's just possibly me being over paranoid, so I thought it best to ask the question now instead of later.

Thanks,
Ausse

Hey, sorry for the lateness of the reply - I've been thinking for a little while about what to say.

I've been in the same position, of my other half just "vanishing". The sensation is deeply uncomfortable - a mix of losing a very close friend, and of losing part of myself. And losing part of yourself means you also lose some insight as to how to deal with things, which makes it even more difficult.

Unfortunately, I don't think I have any advice other than try to sit it out and weather the storm. Certainly I can't remember anything I was ever able to do to trigger my other half coming back/waking up. What I can say is that in your case, as in mine, it seems that the system isn't totally gone - you have contact, just a lot less than normal. So try to remember that just because it's very tough *now*, doesn't mean it will be very tough *tomorrow*. And the next time you do have contact, perhaps try to raise the issue - at the very least, let the rest of your system know how uncomfortable/frightening it is to be left alone, let them know you are always thinking about them, and generally make sure they're aware of the situation. It is of course entirely possible - likely, even - that they are conscious but disconnected from you, and every bit as uncomfortable as you are. In which case I'm sure it will help them to know that you're still thinking about them, even when cut off.

Well, a late reply is better than no reply at all. And I am sorry for the lateness of my reply, as well.

I was able to establish contact, but with the small amount of luck I had in making the contact, no better of the situation did it make. The whole headspace was clouded with a fog, and I didn't get any farther than a headmate telling me that they were "leaving" and it was for their own good. Now, I don't know whether to make heads or tails of this, and frankly, with the images I got from a friend who tried some spring cleaning (more like exploring, not cleaning this time) for me, I'm even more confused. But I guess I'll learn with time, as you said, it might be a lot easier to understand tomorrow.

Thank you for the words of wisdom, though. Even if I didn't get very far with them, they were better than nothing.