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Thinking I might be an elemental...
Chordal
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Post: #1
Thinking I might be an elemental...
I'm just noting this here for future reference. I'm not sure if it has to do with who's been overshadowing me recently, but I am thinking that I have strong Water energy...there's just too much that's connecting me with Water for me to let it go so easily. That includes the "good water" messages from my old houseplant and the "poison" or "venom" that people sense from me when they've angered me. Plus there's the unstable yet constantly "me" identity.

I'll keep looking around at this, especially where it comes to Chinese symbolism, but I wanted to make note of it, before I lost the thought entirely.
2013-08-02 5:49
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Post: #2
Re: Thinking I might be an elemental...
Moved to the 'other' section since we don't have a strictly elemental subforum. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

Chordal, do you still feel a connection to being a demon or are you leaning strictly towards elemental now?

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2013-08-02 14:07
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Post: #3
Re: Thinking I might be an elemental...
You know, I wouldn't have even gone to "elemental" unless I'd had the background to know that spirits could be elementals, through Demonolatry. But to tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm just a spirit with a really strong Water affinity or if I'm a demonkin with a Water affinity. I'd lean towards the former for the time being, though, even though I'm not sure, just for neutrality's sake.

From what I do know of Demonic pantheons (big "D"), I've always had a really strong vibration from Demons (at least when their names are pronounced a certain way and/or when they are exerting influence), which causes me to think that my energy isn't Demonic...I'd think existing as human would be intolerable if that were the case. I also think it's possible to identify with demons (writ large) and not be a demon, which is where I think I'm at, now. Does that help?
2013-08-03 5:25
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Chordal
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Post: #4
Re: Thinking I might be an elemental...
This is after a night of searching for basic information on Chinese 5-element theory, and finding that there is at least one book that relates it, it's just that I don't have it. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> There's also the Reference section, though. I do also have a book on adaptive styles which may help me, even though it is more geared towards Traditional Chinese Medicine than philosophy.

I found this in a beginning search online:

"In Chinese Taoist thought, water is representative of intelligence and wisdom, flexibility, softness and pliancy; however, an over-abundance of the element is said to cause difficulty in choosing something and sticking to it." -- <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_%28Wu_Xing%29">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_%28Wu_Xing%29</a><!-- m --> Sound like me? <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

Possibly this could be treated as a message...the five-element system in Taoism seems to be more a model of interrelations than it is a model of anything static or essential, meaning that linking it to identity may be a mistake. I have also a book here on Western elemental magic, which may or may not help. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> I'm thinking that the Taoist version of things actually matches me more closely...
2013-08-03 6:10
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Post: #5
Re: Thinking I might be an elemental...
So I've begun reading in this book, _Power of the Five Elements_. I actually need to add an errata here; the book isn't about Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), but is based on a specific form of holistic acupuncture which is not included in TCM. The system's name is the "Five Elements"; thus, the title of the book is a bit misleading, as "Five Elements" is used as a system name, and the book is not primarily about philosophy.

I'm about 30 pages in; the author does talk about the attributes of each element, though I'm still working on that point. I got irritated with some of the assertions he was coming up with (conform to be happy?), and took the opportunity to utilize the questionnaire at the back of the book to determine my "Adaptation Type." I'm unsure as to whether this comments upon one's entire energetic makeup, or just what needs to be parsed in this acupuncture system.

Surprisingly (to me, at least), I'm currently a Wood/Fire adaptation type, which I would never really have guessed. Wood is related to growth, creativity, and regeneration; Fire is related to joy and love. Both are expansive (which relates to my saying that I feel like I'm expanding beyond the point where words can easily define who I am). What is odd is that the two of these signs are yang; Wood is related to Spring, or the birth of Yang; Fire is related to Summer, the peak of Yang. I have never really thought of myself as a Yang type (especially with my association with demons, which I think of as Yin; maybe I'm wrong), but I suppose if I look back before all the harassment (and depression) started, I can see that. I was so happy as a kid, that it irritated the other kids and they tried to cut me down.

I think I also have a loving nature, but that's been twisted by this world to the point that it's become difficult for me to hold down non-family extended loving relationships. That's probably relating to the fact that I'm primarily attracted to females, and have been taught by culture that it's better to be celibate than to be with a woman. But...as I change my exterior, I do find that women are more...I dunno, deferential? to me. It's just seemed that as I've looked less and less like a woman myself, I've moved into a kind of space where women are more open and welcoming to me, which I think is not really the same thing as would happen if I were outright a man. But it's the same type of thing that I had when I was performing "butch" in college. People get sweeter.

It's also curious to be female with two Yang signs...it may say something about where I'm at, genderwise. At least, in this life. (Yang is typically associated with masculinity. Which I guess I am? Just not in a male body.)

What I'm curious about at this point...there are a couple of things. One is that I initially scored high in Water, but the third section of the questionnaire nullified a lot of what I'd answered. I am not entirely sure how that works. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> The Wood type is associated with anger and frustration when unbalanced; Fire is associated with confusion and vulnerability when unbalanced. Looking at this, I can clearly see the association with Fire. If I think about work, and my crafts, I can see the Wood type as well. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> I thought I'd be more of a Metal or Water type (Loss/Grief [of the people I've loved] or Fear/Doubt [of losing more people I love]), but right now I'm wondering if I've actually been *paired with* a Metal and/or Water type being (spiritually speaking), so that things could balance out. Metal would mitigate uncontrolled Wood; Water would mitigate Fire. And both of those are Yin signs. But at this point, that's just a curiosity. As is the reason why I cannot relate very well to Earth at all. <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> (Earth is the balanced sign with both Yin and Yang in relatively equal amounts.)

Sooo...it would seem that I'm a Wood/Fire type with possibly too much Water? <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> Probably not a Water elemental, at least in the Taoist version of things, at this point.
2013-08-05 23:01
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