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Surf n' Turf
Elinox
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Post: #1
Surf n' Turf
Sorry, I know, the title’s silly. Too bad, it fits. <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> And I apologize if you've already seen this elsewhere!

Ok, I think I’m ready to announce this. Not sure what I’m expecting of people, but I think I’ve been dilly-dallying about this long enough. I’ve been hinting at it off and on for months on the Werelist, so I think it’s only fair to come clean. Here goes nothing. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

I have identified as a wolf therianthrope since about 2002. In those 8 years, I’ve come to better understand myself and how identifying as a wolf affects me. I’ve gone from experiencing mental shifts to being more integrated. I experience phantom limbs almost daily and it’s really just something that I live with. It doesn’t affect me negatively nor positively, it’s just how I am.

However, I’ve always felt a pull from the sea. I used to pretend to be dolphins and mermaids when I was little and I was called “fish” by more than one person. I used to think it was just something about me, similar to liking ice cream or a specific color, but lately, I’ve been thinking it’s something more. This pull to the ocean has been with me all my life and depending on the time of year is harder to ignore than others. Yet it is always there.

Since August of 2009, I’ve been experiencing a phantom dorsal fin. At first I thought it was merely a new totem trying to get my attention, but then, when it persisted for several months I began to wonder if it was something else. I’ve only been looking into the possibility of having a second, aquatic theriotype for about a year now, but the phantom fin has continued and I’ve occasionally also experienced phantom paddles and even once or twice a fluke, both of which have occurred only when I’ve been swimming. (I think there’s a strong possibility that aquatic therians need their watery environment to experience certain phantom limbs and shifts.)

I’ve considered the possibility that orca is totemic in nature, simply a symbolic representation of the sea, or something else entirely, however I keep experiencing things that point me back to theriotype as the answer.

Along with the persistent dorsal fin, I’ve also had several powerful meditations involving orcas. Add to that my above-average connection to the ocean and I’ve come to the conclusion, after many months of trying to deny it, that I am a wolf therian as well as an orca therian.

However two things are still true for me: my connection to wolves is as strong as ever and I do not doubt that I am a wolf therian and my strong and undeniable connection to water and, more specifically, the ocean, which has been present my entire life.

I’m not entirely happy with being an orca, I’m still not sure why, but I realize that it is not a choice.

I’m still having trouble coming to grips and admitting this and I believe it will be awhile until I can fully accept it. However, the evidence has persisted and I doubt it’s going away.

So I’m going to see how I feel about being “out” with being a therian with multiple theriotypes/polytherian/whatever we’re called! This new label could change in the future as I continue to learn, or it could stay this way, only time and patience will tell!

For now, you can just call me "surf n’ turf". Ha!

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"You're the best kind of crazy." -Murphy, The Dresden Files
2010-08-06 18:50
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simim23
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Post: #2
Re: Surf n' Turf
Well, congrats!!

I'd like to point out that Orcas, also known as Killer Whales, have been called "Wolves of the Sea" numerous times before in reference to their pack hunting techniques, etc.

Simim: Rainbow poop at your disservice.
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2010-08-07 0:20
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Estelore
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Post: #3
Re: Surf n' Turf
I was just about to say that about "sea wolves", but it appears I've been beaten to it.


While I don't identify as being therian, I do acknowledge totems, mostly in association to the names given me by the less-mainstream members of my extended family.

To my Cherokee relatives I am Inali, black fox. To my distant family in Scotland, I've been Seobhag Ghorm, blue hawk. Peregrine falcon. I was born under the time of the owl and the eastern Horse, and all these creatures bear significance to me. The black butterfly and honey bee also hold personal significance to me. Encounters with these animals at different points in my life, both physically and spiritually, have signified times of great change and also great understanding about myself and the world around me.

I hope truly that the new awareness of the orca in your life and spirit prove to be good and healthy for you, and that they bring you great understanding.
If anything, I would hope that perhaps you will find a 'pack' of your own, people who have a spiritual similarity to you and who pass time with you in places that call to all of you.

The idea of wolf and orca combined in this manner is beautiful to me. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

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2010-08-07 4:16
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