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Something's Missing/What now?
Selcar
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Post: #1
Something's Missing/What now?
(First start off with a little preamble to get the writing flowing and everyone on the same page of thought, and of course because otherwise the post would end up really short.)

I've been associated with the otherkin community in some form or another for a number of years - mainly mostly online during the first few months, then reclusion from the community, followed with a focus on the offline/local otherkin community. Up until recently, and even still (as shown by my post count) am fairly distant from the online community due to (what I would, short sightly call) negative circumstances. It's easy for a teenager, especially one that feels socially awkward and out of place, to get wrapped up in the negative aspects of the otherkin community (particularly the online community, due to the anonymity effect of the internet) and become subject to, and a part of what we call "Fluff".

I've mentioned or spoken on this a few times, that at the start it's easy to look for the short answers, the simple method of going entirely with one's "gut" feeling, even if that gut feeling is a product of one's conscious and subconscious desires to force themselves to fit the idealized version of themselves - mostly, because it is what I experienced as my introduction and "awakening" into the otherkin community, until someone kicked me out of it, at which point I rejected the idea of the community and left. Subsequently, and for whatever reasons, I met with some of the otherkin locals in my area - many more than I had expected, and found them to be quite the likable bunch, there were no wild claims and a great deal of knowledge, both academic and practical (energy manipulation, social interaction) that came from it, even if it was not very otherkin focused.

Why is this mentioned? Mostly to show the process in which I am going through, and have been going through over the years in my interaction with the otherkin community. I build myself up on sand - which poor logic and things I wanted to believe, simply to make things easier. Then I broke myself down (rejected the community, then re-accepted it) - which took longer than what one would expect, years to erase the self doubt and shame felt. And now I am in the process of building myself back up, establishing what I do and do not believe in, and why. This process is also what prompted me to ask "What is your goal in practicing magic?" in another thread. An answer I still don't have for myself, and can not rightly devote myself to that practice until I feel I have a good answer, one that goes beyond "Because I can" or "Because I want to poke it". But the same stream of thought brings me to another question, and this one even more important perhaps.

I believe that most of us here know our kin type to a fairly good degree, there are not a lot of "unknown" tags in the profile section. But once we determine what we were, and what those creatures/beings were like, what do we do next?

For the purpose of this question, I am using "otherkin" not as a state of being, but rather a belief system/spiritual path, and when compared to other spiritual paths or religions, it seems to lack a purpose, a generalized "end goal" of sorts. Paths that are followed seeking Nirvana, Heaven, Enlightenment, but what are we seeking? What does one do after remembering? It seems, on the community as a whole, there are a lot of forums which slowly devolve down into "I am X, I believe in Y" "I believe in B and I am A" and then there is little progression - especially otherkin focused ones, for it seems a lot of conversations tend to be towards magic/energy work instead of otherkin in particular.

The answer that comes to my mind, and one I do not feel is entirely valid is "Use the information to learn more about the self." And I find this unsatisfactory for a few reasons - if you take otherkin as a literal concept, instead of a metaphorical manifestation of one's desires, then it seems the focus is more towards what you once 'were' which does help with the now, but focus could still be placed on the current self instead of the past self. Further, I believe and would argue that one will always be learning about themselves, discovering new aspects of the self and how they relate to the world around them - hardly something one needs to be otherkin to do.

So. I've figured out my 'kin type. What now? Because down this long path that has taken years, it seems like the end of the path is missing something.

"Justice, like lightning, should appear, to few men's ruin but to all men's fear."

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2008-09-26 5:19
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Post: #2
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
Yeah, knowledge never is especially rewarding. There's always the pile of old knowledge to soften the blow of existential truth (or delusion, as it might be). To be as honest as I possibly can, I don't there ever is an "end of the path", except for death, which doesn't particularly care what you've accomplished on the way there. All you can really say is "I found out more about myself, I've changed because of it, and I hope that it's made me a better person" and go on with life.

I, personally, am still unsure about about my draconic identity and don't know whether or not Krae and Yri really exist or are just pieces of my frayed psyche that took such a tumble during my grade school years. But I choose to identify as it and with them, because I feel like, even if I don't say my beliefs out loud, that they make me a far more confident and enjoyable person to spend time with. Also, once I do choose to tell someone my beliefs, most of the time their worries about me thinking that they're weird if they tell me something go away.

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2008-09-26 6:14
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Post: #3
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
That is a good question, Selcar. In all honesty, I don't think anyone can give you an answer that would blanket the whole community. Just like the search for self- be it search for your truth as otherkin, or coming to terms with one's sexuality- it's entirely personal, the goal we're all seeking.
I can only offer mine, as I can't speak for anyone else. I spent my entire life being told I was crazy. When someone, somewhere- family, friends, strangers- tell you that you're crazy, every day for over twenty years, you begin to believe that maybe everyone's right. You think that everything you believe- or even just feel instinctively- is wrong. Why? Because you're nuts. You're crazy. You're a loon.
When you have that mindset, and it's reinforced by the people you love and trust, it's very, very hard to believe that maybe, just maybe you're not crazy. Maybe there IS an explanation for the feelings, thoughts, memories, images, dreams, longings you've had. It's not easy to find, but with a lot of struggle, it seems like there's validation. More than that, there's acceptance of yourself, and a feeling of fitting into your own skin. All of a sudden, you're not thinking of yourself as a freak, an 'abomination of nature' anymore.
With that in mind, everything seems more plausible. Writing isn't hard, it's a pleasure. You aren't too loud, exuberant, etc, etc. You're you and anyone who doesn't like a psychotic angel can go to hell. *snerk at the dry humor available in that* You don't second-guess everything about yourself anymore, and just through that, you find you enjoy life a lot more. Things seem a little more hopeful, and because of that, life is better.
That's all I'm hoping to maintain with this quest for self.

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2008-09-26 13:19
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Post: #4
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
What now? Take what you've learned to make this life better. If being kin wasn't important for you in this life, you probably wouldn't have awakened at all. It's much simpler to be human and leave it at that. For me, every time I try to think and act like human normal it just doesn't work out. It helps to remember that I'm not built that way on the inside. So if I'm going to throw out the map and start drawing a new one, I need to know who, and what, I'm drawing it for. I can't do X because I'm overly sensitive to Y, but I can do Z better than they can. Of course, there's more to it than drawing the map, you have to start walking it too.

A community helps you to figure out not just the label but also what the details may be. It helps remind you that you're not the only one who is built differently. Without that extra support I might easily fall back into the human trap where I keep trying to do things in a way that doesn't work. My body is human. The face in the mirror is human. The people around me who tell me how the world works are mostly human. I need to be reminded. I know what the consequences are when I forget.

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2008-09-26 16:34
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Post: #5
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
What next indeed.

Sometimes the answer, from my perspective, would seem to be along the lines of, get a job, get a family, get out of your mum's house, learn to live with yourself in general, and other things like that.
Personally however, it seems rather weak. Everyone has these normal things to do in their lives and they have nothing do do with being kin.

The next step on the kin front, for me at least, was to take what I've learned and applying it to what I do as well as offering a lot of what I've learned the hard way to those willing to listen. (Love the old proverb: Learn from the mistakes of others for you don't have time to do them all yourself in your own life.) I've taken what I've learned and discovered and used it to work on myself, not just "getting to know me" but to better myself, learn to control myself better, get over many of my rather unpleasant issues, etc.. etc.. etc..
I think that the biggest "what's next?" I'm doing is the book tbh.

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2008-09-26 20:26
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Post: #6
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
What's next is that I learn more about myself, that's all. I want to learn the why's and the what's of my type and me in specific, as much as possible (good and bad). I figured out my kin-type, so it's time to solidify the specifics.

But that's it. Otherwise there is no goal, and quite frankly I'm ok with that. This isn't a religion for me, and therefore doesn't need a structure like religions do.
2008-09-27 15:12
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Post: #7
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
First and foremost, awesome topic Selcar. Very thought provoking just like your “purpose of magick” thread <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->


Selcar Wrote:For the purpose of this question, I am using "otherkin" not as a state of being, but rather a belief system/spiritual path, and when compared to other spiritual paths or religions, it seems to lack a purpose, a generalized "end goal" of sorts. Paths that are followed seeking Nirvana, Heaven, Enlightenment, but what are we seeking? What does one do after remembering? It seems, on the community as a whole, there are a lot of forums which slowly devolve down into "I am X, I believe in Y" "I believe in B and I am A" and then there is little progression - especially otherkin focused ones, for it seems a lot of conversations tend to be towards magic/energy work instead of otherkin in particular.


Do you consider being human (the beings we are incarnated into in this life) as being a religious/spiritual path as well? That being said, I definitely agree with you on the point that being Otherkin does not really have some sort of “end result.”

Its really interesting to talk about this topic especially after reading something Simim said in another sector of cyberspace: live your life. Screw everything, all your conceptions, preconceptions, and misconceptions about the world and everything inside of it. Just live your life the best way you can and be happy while you are doing it.

I see being Otherkin as another facet of my personality, a lot like how I am Pennsylvania Dutch, Irish, Bisexual, a Satanist, and an artist. None of these things really “have a point,” they just help to clarify who I am.

After figuring out my kintype (Inari) and the identity of my trueself (Riechisah) the process of identification never really stopped, just took a different direction. When I found out who I was, I wanted to try and find the rest of my loved ones, and through the process of my Awakening I have been able to find some of them here in flesh and blood bodies. Now my purpose has turned to simply being with my whole family which now consists of both my non human family, and my biological human family and just enjoying my life and following the path I have chosen for myself.

I will admit, I do have a specific purpose in being here in this body at this time, but that purpose is something Riechisah herself created and therefore has nothing to do with the fact I am otherkin other than the fact Riechisah was/is not human. So I guess you could say that Riechisah herself has a purpose, but that purpose is not to “be” Otherkin, Otherkin is just something “I am.”

So to address your observation of topics turning towards the metaphysical on kin forums: What is there to talk about Otherkin-wise other than “okay, this is what I am, here are some memories I’ll keep you updated on, and these are a few things I’ve gone through while awakening”? Once we have gotten over the initial hump of awakening and rediscovering this new part of our identity do we really need to focus on that as much? (well, save the cases where someone is having specific issues with awakening/memories/etc of course <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue -->)

Perhaps one of the reasons we talk more about the metaphysical rather than more Otherkin topics is because, for the moment, we are secure in our identities and since we have clearly defined and stated who and what we are, we then feel free to talk more about the nitty gritty metaphysical stuff we never get to talk about to other people because it is intrinsically tied into that part of our non human selves. Or perhaps it might just be cyclical, for a while topics will turn to the metaphysical, then it will cycle back towards topics relating to identity as board members get more and more ideas/theories/questions they want to share bubbling in their heads.


Selcar Wrote:The answer that comes to my mind, and one I do not feel is entirely valid is "Use the information to learn more about the self." And I find this unsatisfactory for a few reasons - if you take otherkin as a literal concept, instead of a metaphorical manifestation of one's desires, then it seems the focus is more towards what you once 'were' which does help with the now, but focus could still be placed on the current self instead of the past self. Further, I believe and would argue that one will always be learning about themselves, discovering new aspects of the self and how they relate to the world around them - hardly something one needs to be otherkin to do.


This might just be due to the fact that I am co-located and Riechisah exists right now as a separate (yet deeply connected) entity from myself, but I do not have many issues with my “current self” becoming more of a focus than my “past self.” For me, there is only one self, the current one. Riechisah is a part of me, I am Riechisah, I have always been Riechisah, I will continue to be Riechisah indefinitely into the future. Though my name may change depending on what life I may incarnate into for whatever purpose, I will always be Riechisah, Riechisah is my core personality/identity. As I continue to exist as a sentient being in the Universe, I will gain more lives and more separate identities, but as of right now Riechisah is the strongest and therefore I am Riechisah.

I definitely agree with you that you do not need to be Otherkin to find out who you are and how to deal with the world once you find out who “you” really is; but as I said before – Otherkin is just simply another category I fit into like I already fit into the categories of Bisexual, Satanist, Irish, and Pennsylvania Dutch. Now that I have discovered and started to understand this new part of my identity, it helps me to feel more comfortable in my skin, and believe me, it DEFINITELY does not fall into the category of “I want to feel special and different” I was already a big weirdo LOONG before I knew anything about Otherkin <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> Just like how realizing, accepting, and understanding my Bisexuality helped me feel more sane and complete, Otherkin is the exact same way, it just happens to entail lives previous to this one.


Selcar Wrote:So. I've figured out my 'kin type. What now?

I can’t tell you what to do (well I could, but that doesn’t mean you would listen <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue -->) but I can give you a strong suggestion: Live and be the happiest damn Selcar that you possibly can, whomever or whatever that Selcar happens to be.

My Poppop died once before he died the second and last time, and when he did he told me that he heard the secret to life. The secret of life is to live. So go out there and live, go out there and be happy. Because in the end, personal happiness is the only thing that truly matters.



Oh yes, and HUZZAH for awesome thought provoking topics!!

*evil grin* wouldn't you like to know

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2008-09-28 1:32
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Post: #8
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
Besides the usual, 'learn even more about yourself' answer, which, let's face it, is a never-ending process, I would say that once you have a decent grasp on your 'kin identity that you should just simply enjoy the experience. Yes, there's always room to improve yourself and learn from your mistakes, etc., but sometimes you just have to stop all the meditating and researching and digging and simply live with what you are.

I've gotten to the point in my therian and Otherkin identity where I feel that I just needed to take a break from searching for more information. I feel content with where I am now and what I've learned thus far. And while it may not seem like a lot compared to other people, I am satisfied with who I am. I do go through periods of doubt just like anyone else, but I realized a long time ago that the belief that my soul is something other than human is something that can never be 100% proven true or false. There are just some things you have to take on faith and accepting your 'kin type is one of those things. Once you reach that point, where you're comfortable admitting to yourself your good and bad traits associated with your specific 'kin type, I think it's important that you enjoy the experience itself. While we're obviously all human as well, being something other than human can have its perks too. Granted, this could all simply be wishful thinking, but still. For example, I have a very keen sense of smell and it helps me notice things other people may not. I attribute it to my being a wolf (whether or not this is true or that I simply have a good nose is not up for debate here). And sometimes it's just nice, to use an old phrase, to stop and smell the roses and simply enjoy the ability whether it's "special" or not.

My point is, if you enjoy doing something and attribute it to your 'kin type, sometimes you have to stop thinking about it and anaylzing it and go out and actually do it.

I think a lot of times people get caught up in the 'why' and forget to actually focus on the 'being' part when it comes to their identities, 'kin-wise and not. And while I will always stress that it is very important to keep researching and trying to discover more things about youself, you shouldn't forget to enjoy your 'kin type too.

Once you get to that point where you want to know 'what do I do now?', then I think it's time to stop and smell the roses, at least for a little while anyway. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

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2008-09-29 16:44
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Post: #9
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
I always figured I Awakened by chance. Bonds snapped and, tada!! I figured some things out.

But one of the things that I'll forever focus on is, yes, that elusive paradox of chaos-order.

I've decided, as of late, to think about it deeply, but at the same time become a nihilist. Because I doubt that whatever I believe, or whatever I am, will make any sort of astronomically significant impact. And if it does, I personally don't care, so whatever. XD

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2008-09-29 23:11
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Post: #10
Re: Something's Missing/What now?
If Otherkin isn't a literal truth or concept, then I use my identity as a symbolic compass for what I want to Become, and how I want to make my life, and what to do with it. If it is a literal truth, then my identity serves the same purpose, but not symbolic. Being the Hindu/Buddhist mash that I am, I believe in an individual, but universal dharma, purpose for everyone.

So for me it's not so much "I'm a Rakshasa!" or "I look like this!" or "I remember this battle which appears in Vedic mythology!"; but to me it is a way of saying "I feel my purpose is Raksa." To me, it doesn't matter in a dharmic sense if it is literal or symbolic, what I want, what I feel compelled to do, is the same. So to me, it is about information about myself, but that information has to be made relevant in a way that allows me to order my life. It's not a focus on who I was, so much as a reminder (literal or symbolic) of who I am and who I have the potential to be.

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When we first begin all things simply are.
As we grow all things are external.
As we learn all things are internal.
As we understand all things are not.
2008-10-06 3:46
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