So You Think You're A Demon... Now What?
Okay, so you know you're Other, and you have a sneaky suspicion you might be a demon. You're going through a tricky and tough process we like to call "Awakening," full of self-exploration and discoveries. But, you can't just walk in somewhere and yell out, "I'm a demon!!" with absolutely no rhyme or reason behind it, can you?
It makes no sense. Half of you, right now, wants to base it all off your instinct, while the other half is saying, "I'm not sure." You're most likely feeling a wide range of emotion right now, from skepticism and doubt to yearning and hope. You might want to be a demon, but what if you aren't? Everyone out there wants to know what type of 'kin they are. You could be a vampire, a therian, and elf, a fae, an angel, a starseed, a dragon, just about anything else.
But how do you know? What characteristics do demons have? What makes someone a demon and not an angel?
How did I know I was a demon, and not... say, a dragon?
I know your dilemma, 100%. That's, actually, what had me running around trying to figure out what I was and wasn't for the first several months along my "journey."
Demons... well, yea. You've got 5 jillion(an overstatement) different cultures telling the world "their" interpretation of a demon. And all of them can be anywhere from identical to complete opposites to somewhat similar. They're allll over the place.
So you're left with this cluttered mass of interpretations. Since no one, so far, has been able to scientifically or rationally produce an experiment or find concrete evidence or proof on Demons, we can't give you a single, verifiable conclusion as to what they are, anyways. I'm sure my definition of demon is just as different as anyone else's, and even it changes constantly.
Demons, themselves... well, think about it. We're masters of ambiguity, ever changing, etc. How do you expect to take something that is chaotic and forever shifting around and pin a distinct label and shape on it?
You CANNOT fit demons into a single cookie-cutter mold. Of ALL 'kin types discussed out there, we're probably the hardest to describe. Other types have physical forms, or callings, or distinct urges or personalities, but with demons, we can be all of that, or none of it, or some of it, and then change it all around seconds later to be something completely different, should we want to.
OR, we can't change at all, but we're still demons. OR you could be a shape-shifter and still not identify as a demon.
OR you could be everything a demon is, but not feel that "demon" is the right word for it.
OR you could potentially be nothing that everyone describes as "demonic" qualities, and still call yourself demon.
I call myself demon. I could be something completely different, but "demon" would still be the right term for me. Why? Because it has this resonating quality to it. I feel right calling myself demon. I don't feel right calling myself "elf" or "faerie" or "therian" or "vampire" even though I possess vampiric qualities, feral tendencies, and a magickal otherness to me that some people have described as distinctly fae-touched. I'm not any of those, though. I am demon.
And you know what? If one day, the term "demon" felt suddenly wrong, or improper, I'd stop calling myself demon, and find another term. I know what I was, what I did, what I experienced, my memories, my past, my perceptions. But, here's the deal: with these eyes, and this body, I can STILL look at a red apple and say it is blue. Everyone else could call me a liar and say it's red, and that very well may be. But if I consider red to be blue, then it's blue, and who's to tell me I'm wrong?
Society makes labels, makes words, and by trying to put a concrete definition on one of the most un-concrete terms out there, you're only doing something you've been conditioned to do since you were born. But, since labels are necessary to create comprehension between people, you kinda need to.
Here, then is a compromise: call yourself whatever you like, but be ready to explain yourself, simple as that.
If you feel Other, you are Other. That's the most basic term for it. You'll know, deep down inside, you're either Other, or you're not.
There's no real need to detail it anymore than that. Remember your past, know what you were, but even if you found your people calling themselves "flying squashpepper monkey feet" only use it if it feels right to you. I call myself a demon, but when someone asks me "what do you mean by that?" I still have to type out 4 or 5 paragraphs full of detail to get my point across.
Basically, you're going to have to explain yourself either way. If you're a demon, it's because that's what feels right to you, calling yourself that. I'm not going to rag on you if one day you feel that wasn't the case, and most people here won't either.
Nevermind what we define a demon as, or not. If you feel as if demon is the correct term for you, then use it. If not, then find another term.
Deep down inside, you'll know. ^_^
Simim: Rainbow poop at your disservice.