Reasoning Process

Forgive me if this makes little sense; I tend to get tripped up in words as it is, and the last couple of times I've tried explaining this great lump of problems I've gotten a bunch of confused looks. Or the text equivalent, at least. I put it here because it seems to fit best.

Some time ago (I think about a year but can't be bothered to check- regardless- long after I was fairly settled as to what I was):

A. New feeling!
1) What is this?
-Sense: Li'l movey ball whatsit/way "out".
-Image: Something like the self-image I have of myself as an elf, but with a much less solid (and generally different) "feel".
-Image: Nonspecific place. Yearning (definitely a new thing).
-Feeling: Lots of energy.
-Feeling: Whoa, want some more of that. Lots of that.
-Feeling: Triggers lots of phantom shifting.

2) What does this seem to be, so far as names and labels go?
-Idea/Feeling/Wild Guess: Fae-related thing, no particular reason.
-Idea: Place.
-Idea: Stronger connection to known quantities.
-Idea: Fae-related thing, based on sudden stronger occurance/popping-up of metaphorical/archetypal traits.
-Idea: Something that I want to see as fae because I've connected that with being able to access it (not that it does work that way, but part of me could think it does) and oh dear gods this is tasty.

4) So what does it seem to be in an "energetic/spiritual" sense?
-Idea: It's just like the rest of me and I'm misunderstanding it completely.
-Idea: It's just like the rest of me and there's some reason why it feels like there's something on the other end. And another end in general, really.
-Idea/Feeling: It's some kind of internal connection to something "outside".
-Idea/Less of a Feeling/Random Brainstorming: It's some kind of external semi-metaphorical connection that manifests as a literal connection to my poking around, akin to what I have to certain people/entities, though it really does not feel like it's to an individual.

3) Why did this seem to pop up now?
-Well the only two ideas I've got are "it didn't, and you just happened to realize it recently" or "it is new, for some completely unknown reason". Neither of which are actually ideas. On the other hand, this is low priority.

B. Presuming this is a part of me, what is it?
1) Does "fae" fit it?
-Poke it, and it reacts largely by making things which I associate with fae happen (see above).
-The word feels right. Not really a rational thing, but there you go.
-Thinking in its direction: what makes this, or me, fae or not fae? Gets the answer: fae are defined by being a part of the fae.
...-The hell does this mean? Group membership? Being changed by faery-the-place? Other? All of the above?
...-I've never heard anyone else use this logic.

2) What else could fit it?
-Not really sure.



...In short, I don't know what this is, I don't know why it's here, I don't know if it's actually an "it", and it really doesn't feel like it follows the same logic as how I analyzed and defined (more or less) the rest of me. I feel like I need some kind of second opinion or external understanding of it. I dunno.

Any ideas?

Quote:2) What does this seem to be, so far as names and labels go?
-Idea/Feeling/Wild Guess: Fae-related thing, no particular reason.

That's what leaps out at me as the key point.

You have a new experience, and - saying for no real reason - you label it as fae.

There is a reason, you just don't consciously know what it is. My response would be, and this sounds a lot more simple to me than it probably will to you, is just to sit down and a) work out why you chose the label "fae" and b) what other possible labels would fit.

If there isn't enough information to find an accurate, useful label for the new experience - then don't bother labelling it. Labels work when they accurately refer to something so that other people, and yourself, can use them for communication of ideas. They don't work when there's an assumption about an experience and you then define the experience in terms of the arbitrary label, as opposed to in terms of itself.

Archer Wrote:That's what leaps out at me as the key point.

You have a new experience, and - saying for no real reason - you label it as fae.

There is a reason, you just don't consciously know what it is.

*shrugs*

Because the only reason I ever originally picked "elf" instead of "fae" to identify with is because it seemed to have nothing to do with anything traditionally identified as "fae"- the not-quite-physical thing, the being-from-a-specific-place thing, the not-quite-set-form thing, certain more specific traits- and now those things seem to be present.

Or because this impression that comes through to me as "fae" is just that- an impression, because that seems to be the closest thing I can think of, and my confusion is mostly based on outside factors, like the semi-external nature of it.

Or because now that I associate some of those things I mentioned with "fae" and now with "hoshi load of tasty energy", I want to believe it.

Actually, I have plenty of reasons; I just have no reason to believe that any of them aren't bullshit.

Quote:My response would be, and this sounds a lot more simple to me than it probably will to you,

Doesn't it always? *g*

Quote:is just to sit down and a) work out why you chose the label "fae"

I don't really think I wrote it down.

Quote:and b) what other possible labels would fit.

I really don't know, outside of what I mentioned- that it might just be more of stuff I've already seen. Somehow. I don't know. I've been doing this off and on for a while.

Quote:If there isn't enough information to find an accurate, useful label for the new experience - then don't bother labelling it.

I'm primarily looking to understand this, not label it. Neither calling it "fae" nor calling it "nothing in particular" nor just not calling it anything have solved anything or made any progress at all.

Hmm...lots of tasty energy connected possibly to a place, identified with the self.

Just a wild guess but sounds like a connection an energetic home plane. Is it Faerie or not? Who knows?

Greenling Wrote:I'm primarily looking to understand this, not label it. Neither calling it "fae" nor calling it "nothing in particular" nor just not calling it anything have solved anything or made any progress at all.

And yet, your comments about it seem absolutely fixated on the label "fae".

If you want to understand it, throw away the labels - stop wondering "is this fae?" or "does it make sense to call myself fae?" and the like, and start studying the actual experiences. What I'm seeing, both here and earlier in chat, is a lot of talk about identifying with groups and labels . . . and next to no talk about the actual experiences that have got you thinking.

Archer Wrote:And yet, your comments about it seem absolutely fixated on the label "fae".

Yeah. Partly because that's the only semi-coherent thing I can get out of this.

So I guess, stop worrying about trying to make it coherent for a while. That frustrates the hell out of me, but sounds like good advice.

Quote:What I'm seeing, both here and earlier in chat, is a lot of talk about identifying with groups and labels . . .

If that's what it sounds like... then I probably am doing something wrong, and not just with communicating.

(I still want to know what it sounds like it might be to you/other people. Especially if the answer is not "fae-related something". That's perfectly reasonable information. :3)

For me, you can call it labeling or something else or not... but the fact is, if you're fixating your guesses on the fae thing, than it's probably something pointing you to that direction for some reason. I would explore it.

What it sounds like to me is this - you've had a strange experience that has made you question your identity.

Other than that I can't say anything, because you haven't really described the experience at all (though you did, seemingly arbitrarily and I believe counterproductively, label it). So examine the experience. Learn all you can about it. When you have a stack of information - and it doesn't even need to be verbalised - then it's time to try explaining it.

I don't buy into this "follow your feelings" nonsense . . . tends to produce nothing much more than labels, and then people find themselves wondering what the label means, instead of what the experience means.

I have to agree with archer with the whole "follow your feelings" thing..
Following your instincts/feelings/whatever will only lead you to where you want to go, which would be all fine and dandy except, the truth isn't always what we want it to be and automatically assuming that your instincts/heart/feelings/whatever can tell us the truth is dangerously close to simply deciding to be self delusional.

Nothing mentioned sticks out as fae-ish for me since there just doesn't seem to be any specific information enough to connect to the fae. It would probably be best not to hurry up and try and put a label to these things. Better to take longer and get it "right".

Go ahead and call it Fae. The worst that can happen is that you will change your mind later. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s -->