Re: -Pokes head in-
If I ever had a life as a dragon I was one who could shapeshift, it was core to my existence, my form of hunting and communication and my species as a whole. But this is if I ever had a life as a dragon; Although I believe in past lifes I also personally believe that past life memories can be very un-reliable, easily influenced and dangerously constructed, just a personal thing I guess.
As of now I identify as a "shapeshifting" dragonkin because shapeshifting is still quite important when it comes to who I am. Of course I don't believe that I can physically shift or anything, I find P-shifting to be rather improbable, but I do experience mental shifts etc., somewhat in the same way that a therian would.
Even before I realised myself to be a dragonkin I was experiencing m-shifts into different animals (I don't shift into dragon), at that point they were usually involuntary, confusing and it made awakening a very confusing process as I wasn't exactly settled.
When I finally calmed down and became clear enough to identify as a dragon I still shifted, and it was still into different animals, yet at the end of it I would always come back to my "base-self" which is dragon. I also find that when I repress my phantom limbs I tend to start m-shifting, usuallly involuntarily, which I see as my body unconciously processing that me rejecting my phaontom body means I want to shift...not sure about that one though as it's a relatively new line of thought.
When I shift I always feel as if it is just an extension of myself and not a form in it's own. I also never shift into a dragon, I am always a dragon, whatever form i'm in, it's always that single constant. It feels like the origin. I struggled with the idea for a while (I think about another year, I must like year long contemplation =p) but I eventually decided to identify myself as a shapeshifting dragonkin and...well you know that feeling of relief you get when you let something off your chest? That was what I felt, it was almost instant, very relieving and it felt right, and still does to this day.
It's been an interesting journey, and it's one of those things that a totem of mine has actually called me to talk to hir about instead of me calling hir, and at the end of that day it's just a part of myself, an essential part, that I feel wouldn't benefit from me neglecting it.
I hope that helps.
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