Photographs and Memories (without photographs for now)

I have been working for ten years now to recover memories. Karli (the host) has been helping me a lot with it, and I think maybe I am coming close to who I was. I keep doubting it, however, because we have both been wrong before.

I remember that my husband was an American man of Irish heritage, a bit older than me. He had blonde hair, kind blue eyes, and the most wonderful, warm smile when I remember him.

I had two daughters, but I don't believe they were his. I think they were from a marriage before him, but he acted as if he was just as much their father. He was wonderful. I know that much.

Theatre resonates in my memory. I know I, and possibly the both of us, had something to do with theatre, possibly film.

I know my life ended with a disease. I was sick for a short time with it, but he never left my side. I remember him looking much older when I died. He had always looked twenty years younger than he really was, in all of my memories, but I think my death aged him. Thankfully, I feel, deep in my heart, he is still alive and well.

I remember meeting him, after my divorce, at some sort of dance hall, perhaps a discotheque. I know that he was familiar to me prior to that, but ... there was something about that meeting then.

"Wake Up Little Susie", by the Everly Brothers ... It reminds me of him. I remember him singing that to me, at least once. I loved his voice.

But, I am hesitant to do anything about such memories. I feel as if I know who I was, who he is ... I feel as if I know everything, but if I am right, he has moved on. For me to reenter his life, as myself, would be too painful even though it would, in a way, be possible. Somehow (if all of this is real and I am not having false memories) Karli has unwittingly struck up a friendship with him.

I suppose that is all for now.

Cheers.

Susie