Re: Persistence of memory
Good timing Archer, the notion of memory and identity were the focus of one of my courses this week.
Anyways, the phenomena is that you suffer from memory loss that apparently is very random, but it hasn't to your knowledge impacted your Shadow memories (meaning not Memories of being a Shadow, but memories connected to that identity, such as figuring stuff out, the lurker's name, etc). It does seem odd, because you assume if a significant portions of your memories were effected at random, than by chance you'd lose something about being Shadow. So if this isn't by chance it means there is something different about Shadow memories.
So my first questions/thoughts are about your observations, cause frankly that's what we have to work with. I hinted at it above, but what about the amount of memories lost? I know you can't actually say how much you lost, but do you think that enough has been lost that it not effecting your Shadow memories is really an anomaly? Also are you geeky/anal/systematic enough to record your findings on your identity to help confirm that nothing in the shadow realm was lost?
You mentioned the Shadow memories as imagination and maybe that wasn't effected, but what about other permutations of your memory? Stories and comics you've wanted to write, are they still kicking around? Shadow memories being safe cause they are stored in your Shadow self I'd disagree with. Bias-up, it doesn't fit into my model, but also your memories as mentioned include this-life stuff relevant to the Shadow identity, which I don't see how/why those would be stored in the Shadow self. I also don't think most people have such an easy/strong/active connection with their Higher Self. You mentioned that hockey wasn't affected, was that just muscle-memory or did that include information? If it included information, sorry to simplify you, but perhaps memories that are important to your creation of self-identity weren't affected. Do you know if you lost memories that were intrinsically related to your identity? You mentioned the family house for example, but most of our don't situate our identities in our extended family, only close family tend to reflect our personality.
Now if i were to include myself in the sample though we get a different animal. I find my memories, this life and past lives, tend to be prone to the same slow decay/loss, with relevant/important memories being resistant. I've gone back through journals, and read past life memories that almost make me think someone else was writing in my books (in my writing...) and some that make me go "Oh yeah..." What I remember tends to be the more important aspects, and what I draw or have drawn meaning and identity from. Of course, like most memories (interpersonal use of the word regarding the function, rather than the intrapersonal use of the word related to stored information) I have really random vivid memories that I can't shake, even though they are of no relevance to my life or identity. This life; the view from my isolated crib when I was dying the second time, or carrying a plant up the stairs when my Grandma moved. Past life; sitting at my desk after school was dismissed because I didn't want to go home, or star gazing on a snow-blown windy night. Meaningless on a surface level to my identity and history, but they don't seem to fade. When I add imagination into the mix, again it reacts the same. Fictional worlds for stories I've written or want to write seem to fade or stay largely based on their importance and withdraw.
Anyways, those would be my initial thoughts on this, obviously a touch slanted to the relevance of identity-formation memories cause of my readings and writings this week, but none the less I think I still hit most of what I wanted to.
When we first begin all things simply are.
As we grow all things are external.
As we learn all things are internal.
As we understand all things are not.