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Otherkin Body Dysphoria
RDrac
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Post: #1
Otherkin Body Dysphoria
I'm transgendered, and as my dysphoria is near crippling, feeling wrong in your body is a big deal for me. But being otherkin isn't a big deal. I've always loved this one canine of mine that feels unusually sharp, hate cutting my nails, and wish I were much more flexible (although the last one might just be natural), but that's it. There's nothing more than that and occasional phantom limb syndrome (something transsexuals can get as well, with the correct genitalia, etc). And I know some transgendereds are at that point- they feel some things are wrong but are content with something as simple as dress, or are only worried about the social aspects (and I doubt anyone's figured ou thow to be treated as the race they truly are- but if you can, awesome).

It seems like most otherkin are at this point, they aren't htat upset iwth their body, or go through periods where they are but usually odn't- but do any feel severe dysphoria? I was curious about this, but after seeing the discussion about "severe hatred of the human body"- it seems like it could happen. And if you do have that, what do you do? What can a person do if they feel like their very species is wrong?

Does anyone have any thoughts on that, or feel much dysphoria in that sense?

My Intro if you're curious.
2009-05-06 3:54
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Motley
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Post: #2
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
I think one main difference with gender dysphoria and species dysphoria is that there really is nothing you can do about the latter except just get over it. In this lifetime, I'm never going to grow feathers. I'm never going to fly by my own power. There simply is no way to do anything about it. A lot of kin, myself when younger also, spend a lot of time fantasizing about being this other thing, or about the 'veil' falling, or physical shifting, but in the end it just continues not to happen. Either you adapt or you don't, but if you don't the consequences are serious. The only real solution is to learn to love who you are now.

With the gender thing, there's always hormones or cross dressing or surgery to tempt you, not to mention being surrounded by people of the opposite sex who seem to somehow be luckier than you. It's harder to put it out of your mind because it's always there. You can go through all the procedures, but if you weren't blessed with the right kind of genetics, it still might not give you the results you want. Learning to love who you are pretty much is the solution for that one too.

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2009-05-06 4:18
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Archer
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Post: #3
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
I don't have species dysphoria, as such.

I have phantom appendages, yes, but my human female body is a human female body and my shadow androgynous body is a shadow androgynous body.

I don't feel the need to be a shadow in "this" life. This life is human female. Maybe another will be a male elf. And another after that a male cat, and another after that a female dragon. But this life has this body, and that's that.

RDrac Wrote:I'm transgendered, and as my dysphoria is near crippling, feeling wrong in your body is a big deal for me.

Can you explain why it's so painful for you? I have a hard time getting my head around this concept.

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

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2009-05-06 4:24
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RDrac
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Post: #4
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
Motley Wrote:I think one main difference with gender dysphoria and species dysphoria is that there really is nothing you can do about the latter except just get over it. In this lifetime, I'm never going to grow feathers. I'm never going to fly by my own power. There simply is no way to do anything about it. A lot of kin, myself when younger also, spend a lot of time fantasizing about being this other thing, or about the 'veil' falling, or physical shifting, but in the end it just continues not to happen. Either you adapt or you don't, but if you don't the consequences are serious. The only real solution is to learn to love who you are now.
I thought about that as well, but there are many transsexuals who feel like they're in the same boat- and they never get used to it. But I think it's that you're surrounded by the opposite sex. I've never met a Ri'en- they don't exist in this world. If you're a domestic creature, that's a bit more difficult- if you own a cat and are a cat, then you'll see it every day. But that's still different than 50% of the population you come in contact with having that body. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Quote:You can go through all the procedures, but if you weren't blessed with the right kind of genetics, it still might not give you the results you want.
The results I want is a flat chest and figure that I've gotten through a month of herbal supplements, so that's really not a concern for me. But that is a point for others- moreso transwomen than men, it seems.

Archer Wrote:
RDrac Wrote:I'm transgendered, and as my dysphoria is near crippling, feeling wrong in your body is a big deal for me.

Can you explain why it's so painful for you? I have a hard time getting my head around this concept.
I don't know how to explain it.
A transwoman said that htere are 3 types of dysphoria- social, physical,a nd another that I've forgotten, probably because I didn't understand it. Social is that you can't deal with being socially treated like the wrong gender (in her case, she'd rather deal with a male body than being treated as a boy), physical is that the body is painful to deal with.

I could be treated as either for my entire life, but as long as the body is what I'm comfortable with I'll be happy. I'll be much happier if I can get my gender marker changed to 'X', but that's a story for another day. Dysphoria can be crippling- and no amount of therapy or medication will fix it. You can try your entire life to tell yourself that you can be happy in that body, and it won't work. If it did- why on earth are there 50+ year old women coming out to their poor wives about who they really are? Because there's no way to deal with it. There's no amount of denial or coping mechanisms. The body is wrong- and the only way to fix it is to either change the social situation or your body- or both, in most cases.

Social dysphoria is probably easier to deal with. Most transpeople I've heard from, when they've accepted themselves and don't try to repress it, are socially accepted as the opposite gender. People seeing a MtF as being "really" a boy, but they're still considered "one of the girls", for example. When they try to socialize as the wrong one, then it gets crippling, but if you can socialize like that- the body isn't as big a deal.

That you're a non-physical entity probably makes it harder to understand, since I imagne the only sense of body being wrong is the fact that you have a physical body.

My Intro if you're curious.
2009-05-06 5:35
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Seraphyna
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Post: #5
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
As a teenager I hated my body, not just because it's human (and thus physical), but because I saw it as a substandard human body. I grew out of it, thankfully, most likely because my hormones calmed the hell down and I smacked myself upside the head enough. Does it suck that I can't ever be "me" in this life? I guess. Can I do anything about it apart from die? No. So either I can get over it, deal, move on, and enjoy this life...or I can wallow in my own personal pity party. Personally, I choose the former (of course that's not to say I still have moments of "stupid human body!").

One of the main differences I see between transgenedered individuals and otherkin is that transgendered people can do something about it. They can "fix" the problem so to speak with hormones, surgery, clothing, etc. Otherkin cannot. Sure I guess you could wear some elaborate costume or get extensive body modifications, but that still wouldn't change your species. Transgendered people can do something about it, otherkin can't and that's why I think we learn to just deal and it's not such a big deal for us. We either learn to cope or don't and suffer the psychological consequences.

I also think that just because a therian, for example, can see their theriotype everyday if they can doesn't make it any easier for them to be whatever animal that is now human. I'd argue that being able to spend time with the "real them" would just make it harder.

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2009-05-06 13:15
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Elinox
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Post: #6
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
Depends on the day, but yes, I occasionally experience species dysphoria. It's not physically painful, but it is a deep longing to be something else physically. I get sad and desperate feelings sometimes too, but not often. But it doesn't change how I live my life as I still have to go to work and pay the bills. I'm still human no matter what I feel like on the inside so I've still got to lead a human life.

And I'm a happy-go-lucky person by nature so these bouts of species dysphoria usually don't last long as I refuse to feel sorry for myself for something that simply cannot be changed. That and when I start to feel it, I make myself focus on all the wonderful things I have in my life and that tends to help.

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2009-05-06 15:18
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Laiko Su Katara
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Post: #7
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
Archer Wrote:
RDrac Wrote:I'm transgendered, and as my dysphoria is near crippling, feeling wrong in your body is a big deal for me.

Can you explain why it's so painful for you? I have a hard time getting my head around this concept.

Think that whatever you do you will never become complete.

RDrac, iam going through the same thing as you currently.
Lately the pain have been very strong, but I believe my true identity was taken from me in order to let me have some benefits of my kin. (*sigh* ill tell you later)

I cant really say I have got over it, I know that I will never become truly happy.

But iam thinking of my purpose, and that give me some strenght. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->


You wanna know what makes me most depressed?

Even if I were going to consider to live my life the way I wanted, even if I started to prepare for surgery thingy...
I would still not feel complete, for my family would hate me forever and people would despise me, which would also make it harder for me to achieve my plan.

Sometimes I think that maybe I just want what I cant have.
But then I remember that ive always been more "girly" than other boys.

When I played with my friends I always choosed to be the female character.

Of course, dad hated it. >.<

I strongly believe that I will develop into being asexual in the coming years.

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2009-05-06 19:05
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Post: #8
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
I have had bouts of dysphoria though not severe. Not only am I in a human body when I'm a mix of human, elf, demon, and vampire (maybe other things not sure on that) but this body is also the wrong gender. Most of my dysphoria is wanting to be in a female body like I should have been. It's not so much about species right now though before I knew I was kin it was just gender so I expect the species dysphoria to grow stronger. I just have to live with the body I have.

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2009-05-06 21:01
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Miniar
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Post: #9
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
No species Dysphoria here.
I do have moments where I'm like "ugh, can't be arsed to get dressed, why can't I have fur?" but that's hardly dysphoric.
I also have moments where I'm uncomfortable with my size, but that's not "because I'm the wrong species", that's just a matter of bumping my head into low hanging signs and such.

I am however, also transgendered, I'm bringing that up simply because that's "on topic" per say.
I would understand how that alone would spur more feelings of physical dysphoria which one could attribute to species dysphoria.

(half meant as a reply to Archer's question)
Gender dysphoria (as it's called) manifests differently for each person though with the same overarching similarities.
To some, it's about their "gender" not matching their "sex". Seeing as I don't rightly ascribe to gender I find myself seeing it this way:
Sex isn't just in the pants. It's not just top and crotch content, it's also a matter of hormones as well as brain structure and brain chemistry. There has been supporting evidence to suggest that for transgendered folks there is a problem between the brain and the body, that is to say, the brain has developed to match one sex while the body has developed to be the opposite. Regardless of whether that's it or not, my issue is with my body. "I" as who I am as a human being as I am right now do not feel that I'm "right". I am lacking certain parts and I have other parts that should not be there. It's like waking up in the morning with a third arm, not one that you can really even use, it just sort of hangs there, and so when you wake up you're all "WTF IS THIS?.. That doesn't go there!" and you want to have it taken off. It's not "right".

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2009-05-06 21:26
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RDrac
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Post: #10
Re: Otherkin Body Dysphoria
Seraphyna Wrote:I also think that just because a therian, for example, can see their theriotype everyday if they can doesn't make it any easier for them to be whatever animal that is now human. I'd argue that being able to spend time with the "real them" would just make it harder.
What is therian? I've heard it and thought I understood- but I wanted to make sure. Are they sort of like werewolves (or, werewhatever)? That they have (or their spirit has) a human and an animal form?

Laiko Su Katara Wrote:Lately the pain have been very strong, but I believe my true identity was taken from me in order to let me have some benefits of my kin. (*sigh* ill tell you later)
Would you mind telling me over PM if you dont' want to talk about it on the forum? I'm curious what you mean.

Quote:I would still not feel complete, for my family would hate me forever and people would despise me, which would also make it harder for me to achieve my plan.
Are you certain? <!-- sSad --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /><!-- sSad --> Sometimes people surprise you. Then, sometimes they don't, so I'm not suggesting you do if you're sure they wouldn't be okay. At first, yeah, but they might come around... it's been known to happen. *hugs* I'm sorry your dad was so against that and your family makes you feel like they'll never accept you, especially if they wouldn't.

Miniar Wrote:I do have moments where I'm like "ugh, can't be arsed to get dressed, why can't I have fur?" but that's hardly dysphoric.
<!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> I can see that. It would be pretty annoying. Although I'm occasionally in support of the idea that clothes should be optional. Partly because it might lower the "taboo" on the human body. Nobody freaks out over seeing a naked elbow because we see most everyone we meet's every day- that sort of thing. Not that I'd go around naked or anything, just that it should be more of a personal choice. My 'kin' still dresses, so I've never had that problem, though.

My Intro if you're curious.
2009-05-07 1:51
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