Oh, the fun of being a newbie...

Hello hello hello! Pleased to meet you, whoever you are <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> I'm kokolaila, new (obviously), and I never know where to start with these things. So... I'm a student in England, trying to get a place at my dream university on the English Literature course.

That was the easy part.

As you can probably tell I really don't know which kin I belong to - yet, fingers crossed. I always felt a draw to the side of existence that we humans can't see or really understand, which apparently is where the otherkin come in – almost like I belonged to it. When I was younger I could see something surrounding people, which I now think was probably their auras, but I persuaded myself I was just crazy and tried to train myself to just ignore it.

Then the dreams started. I always have some kind of dream (which drive my friends into hysterical laughter most of the time), but these were totally different. They weren't my average dreams, they felt much more like reality. It normally starts out with flying, wings or no; involves people I know but have no recollection of, who have – sorry the for pun – an “otherness” about them, too; several places, normally underground or in a strange location, that I know like the back of my hand but have never visited in this body; and almost always ends in someone's death.

I know they sound kind of like a regular dreams, but I can always tell when something is just a dream and these don't feel like it. To add to the confusion, the dreams of wings have bled over into real life, so I often feel like I have something growing out of my shoulder blades.

In certain places I tend to get really strong senses of deja vu, which is some cases has been so strong I've passed out from it. I also feel like there's someone, or some people, that I need to find who are otherkin, though I have no idea right now who exactly they are.

I started researching and ended up here! I figured I could either jump in to this head first, or try to completely forget about it: and goodness knows I tried the ignoring and it really did not work. So I figured that if I'm insane, I may as well try to embrace it.

<!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: --> Sorry about the essay. It just wouldn't let me stop until I finished, damn it! If I haven't bored you to tears yet and you have any suggestions that might help, or just want to say hi, feel free! <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->

Welcome, fellow Britkin English uni person! (My degree is in linguistics, but amusingly, due to a slight "administrative issue" the actual degree says English lit.)

Welcome <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> My only comment is that if you find yourself passing out on any sort of regular basis, you should really get yourself checked out by a doctor.

welcome to okp! did you bring cookies? <!-- s:happy_demon: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/happy_demon.gif" alt=":happy_demon:" title="happy demon" /><!-- s:happy_demon: -->

Yo and welcome to the forum.
I second the doctor suggestion and raise you one *gives cookies*.

Thank you for the welcome! ^^ Much appreciated.

Yeah I've been to the doctor several times about it, but so far they've come up with absolutely nothing wrong with me. It's not very often that the feeling is so intense so I'm not worried about it really. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->

Ah, gotta love linguistics, if I wasn't such a die hard literature fan, I would do a linguistics degree, too. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s --> Absolutely fascinating subject.

kokolaila Wrote:Ah, gotta love linguistics, if I wasn't such a die hard literature fan, I would do a linguistics degree, too. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s --> Absolutely fascinating subject.

There's always a straight up English degree with an option or minor in Linguistics attached. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->

Welcome to OKP! With phantom wings, what type of 'kin are you leaning more towards?

Elinox Wrote:

kokolaila Wrote:Ah, gotta love linguistics, if I wasn't such a die hard literature fan, I would do a linguistics degree, too. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s --> Absolutely fascinating subject.

There's always a straight up English degree with an option or minor in Linguistics attached. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->

Alas, time spent with linguistics modules is time spent not doing literature modules, or, err, the other way around.

I also send Elinox's question about what (if any) kind of otherkin you're learning towards. Do you have a sense of "this is/was me, even if I don't know the current English word for it" or is it more confusing than that?

I'm thinking about maybe doing a wild module in linguistics if I get the chance <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> but most of the places I'm considering don't even offer it D: mind you I'm currently dying under the weight of my new investigation in linguistic differences between comedians >.< it's interesting but it is taking WEEKS to sort through the data.

Hmm... I don't know, I thought maybe one of the angelkin, but at the moment I'm lacking some of the memories which most people have claimed are "common" among their 'kin, so maybe not... although I'm not ruling it out. For the time being I'd probably be more inclined to assume that I'm some kind of fae - although the deja vu doesn't really fit into that theory so much. But I know for a fact that I have a way of disguising myself (unintentionally) so that my friends refuse to believe I'm really much shorter than them and less graceful, whatever the tape measure and bruises say <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s --> that may have nothing to do with anything though, of course. I find it too easy to fade into the scenery normally, and I'm quite used to sometimes actively trying to pass people by without them noticing me at all. Lemme tell you, this is much closer to an answer than I had this time last week, so even just making myself think through this is helpful! Thanks guys <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s -->

I shall just have to continue searching online and through my mind <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->