No idea what happened
Okay, I haven't exactly been transfixed with this mystery but I was reading something that reminded me of it. It happened about a year ago, before I came across the term "otherkin" and "therian," and I just tucked the memory away for later exploration. I'm hoping that some people have some ideas as to how to at least partially explain it.
I went on a 10 day trip through a few countries in Europe and involved were chances to visit a few cathedrals. For years I had harbored a secret but intense desire to visit Notre Dame and other cathedrals, so this was a dream come true and I looked forward to a very positive experience. I visited two cathedrals in two separate countries, Notre Dame was the second (I visited it twice). The first cathedral I entered twice but only once really walked through, similar to my visit to the Notre Dame cathedral.
In all four of these experiences when I entered the cathedrals I felt overwhelmed by something, it felt kind of like a wave of . . . I don't know, power? That's probably a bad word for it. After the wave, though, I felt totally . . . different. I felt like a different person. I felt as if I had come home, this domain was mine. Not necessarily the specific cathedral, but the power, the area, the connotations associated with the cathedral. I didn't want to leave and the farther in I went the harder it was to pull myself back and get out. Once I had left, I was scared because it truly felt as if another person had taken over my body.
That's one thing I can't explain. Another is that, while in this dissociative state, I felt phantom wings unfurled, I felt very strong energetically and magickally. That intense feeling of "coming home" and "I belong here" are what really frightened me, though.
The feeling was strong in the first cathedral, but even stronger in Notre Dame. My partner had to practically drag me out and when I came back (because the place really is breathtakingly beautiful), I noticed a pull into the cathedral and I only stepped inside before I started to feel that take-over again. I got out really fast.
These episodes of something clicked into place with something else. I've visited several churches I tend to feel that same "coming home" feeling, although not nearly to the extent experienced in the cathedrals, but enough to make me feel comfortable and frightened at the same time.
At the time I brushed it off with the power of the history of the cathedrals, but the occurrence of these feelings happening at four separate instances in two cathedrals, and to a much lesser degree in Catholic churches doesn't add up with it.
I've also visited a synagogue (frequently) and a mosque (once) and did not feel this way.
Last point: I'm strongly of the belief that I'm empathic or at least able to easily and uncontrollably pick up on the emotions of others. I have 19 years of experiences to draw from but I'm not concrete on it yet.
I'm not super-intent on finding the answer to this problem, I just see a possible opportunity to put some puzzle pieces into place and I thought I'd take advantage of it. Any constructive thoughts would be welcome. ^_^
Random emoticon: <!-- s:geek: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_geek.gif" alt=":geek:" title="Geek" /><!-- s:geek: -->
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