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No idea what happened
Amourosa
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Post: #1
No idea what happened
Okay, I haven't exactly been transfixed with this mystery but I was reading something that reminded me of it. It happened about a year ago, before I came across the term "otherkin" and "therian," and I just tucked the memory away for later exploration. I'm hoping that some people have some ideas as to how to at least partially explain it.

I went on a 10 day trip through a few countries in Europe and involved were chances to visit a few cathedrals. For years I had harbored a secret but intense desire to visit Notre Dame and other cathedrals, so this was a dream come true and I looked forward to a very positive experience. I visited two cathedrals in two separate countries, Notre Dame was the second (I visited it twice). The first cathedral I entered twice but only once really walked through, similar to my visit to the Notre Dame cathedral.

In all four of these experiences when I entered the cathedrals I felt overwhelmed by something, it felt kind of like a wave of . . . I don't know, power? That's probably a bad word for it. After the wave, though, I felt totally . . . different. I felt like a different person. I felt as if I had come home, this domain was mine. Not necessarily the specific cathedral, but the power, the area, the connotations associated with the cathedral. I didn't want to leave and the farther in I went the harder it was to pull myself back and get out. Once I had left, I was scared because it truly felt as if another person had taken over my body.

That's one thing I can't explain. Another is that, while in this dissociative state, I felt phantom wings unfurled, I felt very strong energetically and magickally. That intense feeling of "coming home" and "I belong here" are what really frightened me, though.

The feeling was strong in the first cathedral, but even stronger in Notre Dame. My partner had to practically drag me out and when I came back (because the place really is breathtakingly beautiful), I noticed a pull into the cathedral and I only stepped inside before I started to feel that take-over again. I got out really fast.

These episodes of something clicked into place with something else. I've visited several churches I tend to feel that same "coming home" feeling, although not nearly to the extent experienced in the cathedrals, but enough to make me feel comfortable and frightened at the same time.

At the time I brushed it off with the power of the history of the cathedrals, but the occurrence of these feelings happening at four separate instances in two cathedrals, and to a much lesser degree in Catholic churches doesn't add up with it.

I've also visited a synagogue (frequently) and a mosque (once) and did not feel this way.

Last point: I'm strongly of the belief that I'm empathic or at least able to easily and uncontrollably pick up on the emotions of others. I have 19 years of experiences to draw from but I'm not concrete on it yet.


I'm not super-intent on finding the answer to this problem, I just see a possible opportunity to put some puzzle pieces into place and I thought I'd take advantage of it. Any constructive thoughts would be welcome. ^_^

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2009-07-13 21:40
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HannaTrinity
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Post: #2
Re: No idea what happened
Well that's an interesting tale. Maybe you felt that way because of your kintype. I don't think that you should be scared of it.


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2009-07-14 5:21
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Post: #3
Re: No idea what happened
The way you described the pull towards the cathedrals and then the feeling of phantom wings reminds me of classic, medieval gargoyles. Which, I'm sure you saw many while on your trip!

Are you concerned that this might be another 'kin type trying to make itself known? And have you considered the possibility that you might just really really really like cathedrals?

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2009-07-14 12:58
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Amourosa
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Post: #4
Re: No idea what happened
Elinox Wrote:The way you described the pull towards the cathedrals and then the feeling of phantom wings reminds me of classic, medieval gargoyles. Which, I'm sure you saw many while on your trip!

Are you concerned that this might be another 'kin type trying to make itself known? And have you considered the possibility that you might just really really really like cathedrals?

I'm not sure what it was, maybe it was just extreme reverence. I love cathedrals but only because of their architecture and the art within them. I'm not a Christian, so I don't know if any religious stuff was involved. It could be I just really really really like cathedrals, but this reaction makes me seem like something else happened.

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2009-07-14 15:31
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Post: #5
Re: No idea what happened
Amourosa Wrote:I'm not sure what it was, maybe it was just extreme reverence. I love cathedrals but only because of their architecture and the art within them. I'm not a Christian, so I don't know if any religious stuff was involved. It could be I just really really really like cathedrals, but this reaction makes me seem like something else happened.

Well, gargoyles revere their particular cathedrals. And they're actually a part of the architecture too. It could simply be that your love of cathedrals gave you a unique experience where you felt almost overwhelmed by the "power" inside the cathedrals. I would suggest meditation to see if there's possibly a deeper meaning behind what you experienced.

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2009-07-14 15:42
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Amourosa
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Post: #6
Re: No idea what happened
I'll definitely try it, thanks for the idea!

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2009-07-14 16:17
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Post: #7
Re: No idea what happened
Hi Amourosa!

Many cathedrals - especially the really old ones - were built on top of even older, pagan sacred places. Have you considered that you might react to the "original" energy of the place? For example, Notre-Dame-de-Paris was erected at a ley line crossing, on top of an old roman temple (which, knowing the Romans, was probably built on top of some pre-Roman place of worship).
2009-07-14 18:41
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Amourosa
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Post: #8
Re: No idea what happened
AngelKahoka Wrote:Hi Amourosa!

Many cathedrals - especially the really old ones - were built on top of even older, pagan sacred places. Have you considered that you might react to the "original" energy of the place? For example, Notre-Dame-de-Paris was erected at a ley line crossing, on top of an old roman temple (which, knowing the Romans, was probably built on top of some pre-Roman place of worship).

Yep, that was my first idea. But I'm not familiar enough with such phenomenon that I could really say, "That's what happened."

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2009-07-14 18:56
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Post: #9
Re: No idea what happened
Well it looks like you have a little digging to do. Do you have any idea what the wings looked like? That may give you a clue as to what direction to go in.


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2009-07-14 22:47
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Amourosa
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Post: #10
Re: No idea what happened
HannaTrinity Wrote:Well it looks like you have a little digging to do. Do you have any idea what the wings looked like? That may give you a clue as to what direction to go in.


<3Hanna<3

I can't recall a lot about that particular part, the whole coming-home-this-place-is-my-domain feeling was what really had my attention. If I remember correctly they felt feathered and they were long and narrow, similar to the phantom wings I sometimes feel.

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2009-07-15 10:06
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