Kreyas Wrote:On a quasi-related note, ever since I moved down here to Houston - I'm *very* much more in touch with my true self. I think it has a lot to do with being free to be myself and living in an area that (at least locally) is very much on the same wavelength as I am politically, socially etc. I feel like I'm finally home here in Houston. Heck, even my health has improved since I've been down here, better than it's been in over 6 months, long before the stress of the move.
*another theory* Maybe it's not so much being kin or not but rather how many barriers there are in your true self making itself known to your human self. The more you are like your true self, the fewer the barriers there are... well as long as you don't go insane and the true self abandons you to save its sanity.
My only problem with Downtown is that it's closed on Sundays, basically. But I love Westheimer. I mean the whole frickin length of it. XDD
(Where is yoo at, by the way? We need to hang.)
I'm going with this approach: you didn't have a name for your disorder before now, right? So, randomly speaking, has this ever popped up before? Have you ever thought that perhaps Archaia was a manifestation of your physical oddities before you had a name for the disorder?
If so, then perhaps she is. Look at around what time you awakened to her, how it occurred, etc. Did you ever have to "fill in gaps" for anything in Archaia's history? Did you ever have to reason things out? Example, "so, if Bob tells me he's not married and he's lonely, well, that must mean he wants me as a girlfriend!!" That kinda stuff? Look at everything, and, ultimately, it might turn out that you were wrong about Archaia.
I'm still gonna say no big deal, you're young(like me) and you've got years ahead of you to work your beliefs out. It's not like you're on your deathbed at 87 and had a "everything you knew was completely wrong" moment. Because that would suck.
Of course, if you never thought about that before hand, if you never doubted her existence until now, I don't see why this would make a difference. You were tall, skinny, and had a sunken chest before you knew it was called "Marfan's syndrome" and you knew that not everyone else had the same traits as you before that, too. Why would having a name for it now mean anything?
Above all, I like that you're doubting yourself. While self-doubt's usually uncomfortable and disconcerting, it always leads to enlightenment and figuring stuff out, which is, for better or worse, good. XD