Let the awkward commence.

All righty then. My name is Chassie, or Chass. I am an young adult female, although I don't particularly identify as female (I don't particularly identify as male, either), I use feminine pronouns because it is easier that way. I am polyamorous, with two physical partners and one nonphysical. I'm close to giving up on my sexual identity.

My kin type is angel, of the Abrahamic sort. I believe myself to be an angel of the sun - one of however many.
My awakening began when about six or so years ago, and it's taken me a very long time to develop as much about myself as I have to this point, going through many changes in my beliefs and thought processes. The one thing that has stayed the same about my beliefs is my strong feelings towards angelic kinship. I have vampiric tendencies, although I do not consider myself "a vampire" because I believe the tendencies are due to my angelic binds. I still technically fall under the term psi-vamp, however.

I have another shift while I swim that I consider a mershift. I haven't yet decided what I consider that in regards to my otherkinness, because I've been focusing greatly on my angelkin to obtain more information of myself, but I figured it was worth mentioning because I speak of it sometimes.

I follow an eclectic Kemetic path, and I practice witchcraft. I belong to Set and Yinepu, although I didn't particularly pledge to them, they chose me and I followed the lead. I'm also in the process of getting to know some other Gods and Goddesses so I can make a proper secondary pledge, as I don't feel a deep connection to any of the other Egyptian gods, though I do work with Aset sometimes.

I think of nothing else to add to this besides random useless information or my extremely long explanation as to why I think I'm an angel which seems like overkill, so... Here's my introduction!

Welcome Chass, good to see you joined <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s --> It's been pretty quiet around here, so please feel free to add to existing discussions or make new ones if there isn't an existing one to add to. Since I'm sure someone who doesn't know you is going to ask, how did you come to the conclusion that you're angel-kin of the Abrahamic variety?

Bah, Sera why do you try to make me type these things out?
To save time I'm just going to copy paste part of my explanation from OKA, because I'm lazy.

I came to the conclusion of angel a very long time ago, before I even had all of these wonderful definitions of what otherkin are or really any information about people like us at all. I always knew I felt different, inhuman, and I connected with angels at a very early age (although I was not raised Christian, my grandmother took me to church my entire life when she could and taught me about Christianity) whereas most girls my age were obsessed with fairies and unicorns and whatnot.

When my awakening began, I was on my way to move into the sixth grade, and of course didn't take it very seriously. I thought that perhaps it was just another game I had invented for myself, and of course at that age all your friends are willing to join in anything you are, so we played around pretending to be things that we "really weren't". However it felt 100% real to me when I spoke of my wings, or when I thought about the divine. A couple of years later, we got out of the playing stage of this and pretty much everyone dropped their characters completely. All but me, and I was caught in the gray area, because I didn't want to play the stupid game anymore, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that I am an angel. At this time I had discovered otherkin, and it seemed to fit me very well. For a while I continued talking to some of the people that were part of the "game". They thought that maybe I was just slow on the uptake or clinically insane, and I began to believe them quite a bit. So I fell out of the community, and clammed up about my feelings, trying to shove them down. It'd been that way for about a year and a half or so, I think.

In the past year I had begun to look at my spirituality some more (after having pretty much ignored and dismissed it during my shut down), because I felt something was missing from my life. After coming into contact with Kemetism and the deities to which I'm pledged, I began to feel more settled with myself. Yet, still something felt wrong, something felt like it was missing. I began looking back at otherkin, and it just felt right to be reopening that box that had been shoved in the attic of my mind. I reassessed all of my beliefs regarding otherkin, since that is what I did when I reopened my spirituality box because I'm very analytical and I like to be pretty precise. I decided that I couldn't really consider myself a therianthrope anymore due to when and how those particular shifts occur. I also felt very strange calling myself a psi vampire, even though I do have a need for external energy that I couldn't deny even during my period of shutting down.

So I sat down and began my introspection even more. Even though the other things that I had once in the past thought were a part of who I was didn't fit, the angel kinship did. It was just something I couldn't shake, despite my logistics and psychoanalysis of myself. Every angelic memory I have (which I will admit are few, but those few are very powerful to me) is so real, so true to me that I really can't deny that part of my existence. I've tried to look at other kin types, but everything felt like I was trying to put on a pair of shoes that were too tight for my feet. Nothing felt right, nothing suited me besides angel.

When I initially joined OKA last month I was still in the process of denying the idea of being an Abrahamic angel, as I have had very bad experiences with Christianity and the entire idea of it pretty much turns me off. However as I began to go through their forums, and got on the chat where there are other Abrahamic angels about it seemed relatively clear that that was where I originated from. My UPG has similar traits to other angels of that variety, and it just sort of clicked, as much as that idea does not appeal to me. I've begun to wonder if a part (definitely not all) of my distaste for the religion is due to my experiences as an angel, however.

It's taken me over six years to finally get to where I am now, and I'm still nowhere near close to being able to say I know everything, let alone a good portion, of myself, but after all the research and introspection I've done I feel pretty well certain on what I do know thus far.

Chassie.la.Sol Wrote:...All but me, and I was caught in the gray area, because I didn't want to play the stupid game anymore, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that I am an angel.

Sounds similar to some of my own experiences! (Accept I'm not an angel. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s --> )

Glad you made your way over here. Welcome to OKP!

'lo and welcome

Welcome!

Please enjoy the stay!

I have heard (and to varying degrees felt) that pull from several angelic otherkin in person before. Almost all of them attribute it to their bonds too. Welcome aboard, have a look around, and feel free to dig up old dirt in ignored threads to toss around at one another.