Just Accept It

Well, as some may know I've been doing some reflection on my own identity and I had some questions. Has anyone ever just gotten fed up with the "Why" of it all and just said, "Hang the sense, I'm a XYZ." And that's that? Some days, honestly, I wish I could do that. They say thinking can sometimes get in one's way but...I'd feel like a hypocrite if I did that. I'm a logical person and a person who believes most firmly that as much as possible beliefs and views should have good reasons behind them. I am very agnostic about my own spiritual views and require a high level of evidence for myself before accepting a premise as true along with it's conclusions. Why would I not apply this same manner of thinking to my identity as Otherkin?

Now I'm not saying the evidence has to be perfect evidence just like the evidence people accept for their spiritual beliefs can be no evidence at all to someone else. *wow can I said evidence anymore in one sentence?* <!-- s:geek: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_geek.gif" alt=":geek:" title="Geek" /><!-- s:geek: -->

While I have various reasons for what I believe spiritually I cannot find any reasons to believe I'm anything but a human being. Now I'm not discounting that either. I love my humanity. Regardless of what reasons I come up with for believing myself to be a dragon my humanity still looks me in the mirror each day. So in what way can I say I'm non-human? And if we all admit to our own humanity in what way is ANY Otherkin non-human? Sigh. Is this making sense?

So anyways, any thoughts you have would be great. I've settled on Draconic for now because I do have the constant phantom shift going on so I'm dragon-like in that sense. And I'm very non-human-animal-like in some other ways with shifts to other animals. What does it all mean? Of course I know only I can answer that ultimately but still, thoughts are welcome. Thanks.

If it's just a case of "Screw trying to work things out, I'm a Whatever" then IMO being a Whatever is as irrelevant to personal identity as the colour of your eyes is. Less, even.

I believe it is entirely possible to over think things, especially where the subconscious is concerned. Just because you don't have a rationalized idea of where your observations are coming from doesn't make the observations themselves invalid. Some other bit of information may come to light later that helps to put the other pieces in order. Forcing a theory on it in advance won't help the cause, and may even blind you when that other piece does make an appearance.

I quite agree, Archer. I don't *want* to say that because of just what you said. But that's how I'm feeling because, like some spiritual beliefs, it often seems one has to come to a point where they just accept certain things. Which I don't do so I can never really say I'm anything except human with any sort of surety just like, for integrities sake, I tack Agnostic onto my spiritual belief label because I don't claim to know nor do I accept things on faith.

I agree with you too Motley. Thanks.

After almost 12 years, I have certainly hit the point of "Maybe it's all in my mind, but damnit I feel like a shinoar. And if I am making it up, or I am actually nuts, well, it is not actually doing any harm." And thus while I ponder and while I doubt, I'm also perfectly aware that I will *never* be able to prove my beliefs, because they are beliefs even at the same time as I AM a shinoar at my core. And truthfully, while very important it's also not particularly important to me at all.

My thought was always "Well, barring anything else, it's a personal identity issue. Like anyone else has to understand it differently?" I can't flare my wings, call sandstorms or write life into being. *shrug* Oh well. It really comes down to the same way we justify religious/sexuality/lifestyle beliefs and decisions to others. We can argue it till we're blue in the face, but it all comes down to personal choice. Can I explain why I'm pagan? Bisexual? I could rationalize it, yes, but beyond that, all I can say is that it's me. From what I can tell, all of us have that approach, which is pretty psychologically healthy. Yes, we recognize the possibility of self-delusion, and yes, we're careful to avoid EPS. In the end? It's a very, very personal belief that we try to balance with our day-to-day lives.

Constant questioning - sheer acceptance - doubt - questioning - acceptance.

Rinse and repeat, with different times, intervals, and re-arranging of steps.

Sometimes, I enjoy questioning my beliefs.
Sometimes, I enjoy accepting them.

So I have my days where I think I'm crazy and this is all bull.

And then I have my days where questioning is also bull.

And then I have my days where I'm laughing at the fact that not only do *I* think I'm not human, but I talk to a bunch of other people who believe similarly.

And then I have my days where I take this seriously. Wait, no. I don't. Me and serious don't mix often.

So I get where you're coming from.

Also, a majority of the time, being 'kin is irrelevant to me. It's just a facet of me, and if there isn't something I'm discussing that directly pertains to it, I do have things like bills and a job and school to worry about. Energy shifting and mood swings, etc. These are things that have happened to me but I have learned to mix into my otherwise quirky awesome life and deal with.

Like religion shouldn't matter unless someone's telling you you can't work at a place unless you worship so-in-so; Otherkin/spirituality only really matters when you've got time to make it matter. Physical handicaps are physical handicaps; phantom wings, however painful getting stuck in a door may be, are just little things you get to put up with until you poot out of human existence. Welcome to life-as-a-human 101. <3

So yes, I've got many a day where I just accept it. Sometimes it's laziness, sometimes it's just I've got more important things to do.
Because, after all, if I really am delusional and I'm not going to continue my existence after I die, this life is too short to waste on sitting in front of a computer all day discussing my beliefs or meditating. XD
CYA. <!-- s:happy_demon: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/happy_demon.gif" alt=":happy_demon:" title="happy demon" /><!-- s:happy_demon: -->

I'm totally with freelanceangel on this. Its just another aspect of one's identity and the amount of time one puts into thinking about it can either cause one to accept it more as part of themselves or reject it entirely.

I guess a lot of it can come down to how important it is to you as well as how much it really does effect your life.
at least in regards to how much you should stress about it.

I hear what you folks are saying. What concerns me is not so much the, "Am I?" part of it but the, "Why?" I have no real reason to believe it just like I have no real reason to believe in a lot of religious claims. And so I either reject it outright or assume that group or person has something wrong but may be partially right. Is there such thing as an Agnostic Otherkin? <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->

No, but seriously. Why claim something you're not entirely sure of? I'm relatively certain of my spiritual beliefs and so I practice them but I am not so certain that I would claim to know the absolute truth about my gods and ways. So too with this notion of identity. I have experiences but is it right to claim that I am, in some real, objective way, non-human? I don't know...it seems silly since I don't really apply this kind of thinking anywhere else in my life. Not that I can see anyways.

Ah, but I suppose the ole saying will come up, "Can we be truly certain of anything? What is reality?"

Life is good. I hope my questioning doesn't offend anyone. I'm not calling anyone else's ideas or theories into question...just my own. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->

Granamyr Wrote:No, but seriously. Why claim something you're not entirely sure of?

Why indeed? I for one don't. I mean I say "I'm a shadow", but that's just because it's a lot easier than saying "after a couple of decades of looking into my behaviour, memories, energy, and personal identity I think the best explanation for various unusual quirks of same is that my inherent self is a being made out of dark energy; it is however possible that I have misinterpreted the evidence, or that I have simply missed some evidence, and I am not a shadow at all - or that there is no such thing as shadows anyway."

I'm not entirely sure of anything, really (beyond the "conscious thought seems to be occuring" bit). I don't think it's necessary to claim an identity, to be entirely sure of something, or to insist an identity is correct in order to try to understand yourself.