In the Back

I was kind of wondering what everyone's experiences were with NOT fronting, since it was brought up in another topic. I'm not very good with questions, though, so I suppose I'll let you make your own.

For me, it's just nothingness that happens to be very peaceful. Krae and Yri both seem to do thinking there and are able to pick up residual thoughts and emotions from the front, but I don't seem to be able to do those things or at least I don't remember them once I come to the front. The latter of these is quite likely since, beyond my own poor memory, Krae and Yri seem unaware of what they've been doing in the back once they come to the front as well. I think that it has something to do with varying mental states- you remember something better when you're in a similar mental state to that in which you learned it in.

before you knew about your multiplicity, and these experiences occurred, what did you think of them? Did you even realise they were happening?

My multiplicity was made known through communication, not actions, so I don't think that that really applies. But really, it's like going to sleep and waking up again, considering that I rarely remember my dreams, either. It was never really a point of concern.

I/we don't really experience being "in the back". As we're co-conscious, we don't so much switch as change emphasis - sometimes feeling more like Archer, sometimes feeling more like Archer's other half.

Littlechris Wrote:before you knew about your multiplicity, and these experiences occurred, what did you think of them? Did you even realise they were happening?

From a fairly young age the possibilities I considered were mental disorder (particularly schizophrenia), reincarnation, telepathic communication with another entity, or simply being more than one person.

Deros Wrote:I was kind of wondering what everyone's experiences were with NOT fronting, since it was brought up in another topic. I'm not very good with questions, though, so I suppose I'll let you make your own.

For me, it's just nothingness that happens to be very peaceful. Krae and Yri both seem to do thinking there and are able to pick up residual thoughts and emotions from the front, but I don't seem to be able to do those things or at least I don't remember them once I come to the front. The latter of these is quite likely since, beyond my own poor memory, Krae and Yri seem unaware of what they've been doing in the back once they come to the front as well. I think that it has something to do with varying mental states- you remember something better when you're in a similar mental state to that in which you learned it in.

All of us are almost always aware of what's happening, even if we're dozing and letting others front. The exceptions being when we go down into The Cellar. It's a place we go sometimes, usually due to high levels of stress, wherein something happens that we never remember when we get back up. No idea what goes on down there, since no one ever remembers what happened down there, once they get back up. But sometimes we apparently nip down there for the sheer heck of it, because sometimes entire stanzas of poems - even entire poems - and other nifty ideas and creative stuff will come floating up from down there, no conscious thought having gone into them.

But yeah, when one of us goes into The Cellar for more than a few hours at a time, once we notice the abscence, we poke around everywhere inside, mounting a full internal search-and-rescue, but can never find them if they're hiding down there. They usually turn up some time later (once Alex was down there for several weeks, and Ian has been living down there for 3 years, but has been popping up more frequently lately) with no idea what all the fuss is about, and no memory of what happened to them in the missing time - also not remembering anything that happened up here in the time they were gone. Of course, they get caught up by tapping into the collective memory, but whatever happens in The Cellar remains a mystery to us. Except, we suspect that Shao'Kehn knows what goes on down there and is, for whatever reason, forbidden to tell us directly. Which only deepens the mystery.

-Pi

Deros Wrote:I was kind of wondering what everyone's experiences were with NOT fronting, since it was brought up in another topic. I'm not very good with questions, though, so I suppose I'll let you make your own.

For me, it's just nothingness that happens to be very peaceful. Krae and Yri both seem to do thinking there and are able to pick up residual thoughts and emotions from the front, but I don't seem to be able to do those things or at least I don't remember them once I come to the front. The latter of these is quite likely since, beyond my own poor memory, Krae and Yri seem unaware of what they've been doing in the back once they come to the front as well. I think that it has something to do with varying mental states- you remember something better when you're in a similar mental state to that in which you learned it in.

I can't remember anything afterward, people are just normally shocked. Of course, that was before we were "unified" and it was only in defending me. I'll update this after backing happens again, or even if it occurs and I'm completely aware of it at the same time. Like if Sariel takes over and I can see and hear it all too, maybe even feel it all. <!-- s:mrgreen: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":mrgreen:" title="Mr. Green" /><!-- s:mrgreen: -->

Once you've passed the kitchen (with the way the headspace is set up), you've entered the 'back", or so it is called. Anything before that is the "front" leading up to the doorway (which would be the person out in front). Many of us go back and forth at our leisure between the front and back, but our 'root', or 'shell' as she often refers to herself as, doesn't go back beyond that point.
A few times, she has, but the entire time it was blurry, and the part are mostly scraped together from the almost stop-motion memory. The only part depicted from the back are red, green, and black squares. We know those to be something like memory files, and do not bother with them due to a Spring-Cleaning (We've have allowed a few in our headspace, before) incident from February.

Most of out headspace just consists of an old victorian house (which has three known levels; base, second, and attic), with the backyard looking almost reminiscent of a junkyard with all the odd floppy-diskesque squares of green, red, black. But the back is mostly unexplored, and for rather good reasons.

See, it's interesting.

With many people it's like that, actually seeing the other come "out" or whatever.
For me, it's nothing but I simply black out. <!-- s:| --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_neutral.gif" alt=":|" title="Neutral" /><!-- s:| --> It's not really all that fair.