Re: Hiya...
Thanks all for the warm welcome …
Ok I’ll try and answer your questions as best I can ..
1) I’ve studied the concept of angels and demons for many years , it’s a very old concept but also very misunderstood , you can pick out certain demons from religious writings or mythology , only to find that they’ve been branded as Demons due mainly to people’s biased religious feeling’s , so I don’t use the term “Demon” to say that I’m evil or bursting full of negative energy , the main reason I use the term demon is mostly because of my second answer…
2) In my own searching and self reflection took a long hard look at myself and my life , I’ve always had a dark side ...I don’t mean evil , its hard to explain , if I ever became too panicked or two stressed out , this part of me would take over …
I’m mean for long enough I thought I had a split personality , but I was always me …if you can understand that ?
I’ve known since day one I was different …but due to my situation , I’d didn’t realise I was different , I thought the things that I could do where completely normal and basically everybody could do them if given the proper guidance , precognition and psychic ability’s always seemed normal to me …
Psychic ability’s run in my family , my mother , father , grandmother and great grandmother all had them , so I was brought up in that kind of environment…events happened in my life and I turned away from ,well I guess my ability’s , but all the while this …I really don’t have a word for it , was with me .
A few years ago I tried to answer the question of why I was different , at the time I hadn’t heard of the term otherkin , I got caught in many of the online vampire community’s ( which still is a subject I’m very interested in ) and from within these community’s I basically learned of what the idea of Otherkin was .
I started deep meditations …something you get used to having psychic ability’s , but this time focused inward …
And that’s when I saw this , at first it scared me …I went through all the phases , from the “Oh god I’m evil” to “whoa! cool a demon “, and for a while I did turn away from it , but as the years go on , my feelings grew deeper and more profound , so I studied the idea’s of otherkin …mostly out of curiosity , but there has always been that part of me that wanted to know .
I was encouraged by a friend to go deeper , and I did , for the first time I really do believe I have seen bits of my past lives ….but as always , the sceptic in me fights back , you have to understand that I’m almost paranoid about deceiving myself , I think part of this is due to seeing other psychic’s end up on a path of almost complete self deception .
In any case I went looking for my demon , and over time it slowly took shape , from your basic physical description it looks like a big black winged humanoid demon with feline features , the face was something I always found the hardest to get …best way to describe it is to say the face is like Vincent’s …from the old beauty and the beast TV show …
Now at this point I’m still extremely sceptical that such a thing ever existed …that was until I actually saw it
This bit involves the exorcist movies believe it or not , when the movie Exorcist the beginning came out I picked up a copy in a special bargain with a few others , there’s a scene in the movie where father Merrin , climbs down into a cave and ends up standing in front of a statue of what is supposed to be Satan or something …it was basically then that it hit home , that statue was my demon , right down to the crossed wings and feline facial features even the tail …
I was frankly blown away …
So I went looking for this demon to find out as much about it as I could …I’ve actually studied occult demonology , but I’ve never heard of a Pazuzu before , even weirder , I’ve seen the original exorcist a few times , and I’m sure there’s a scene in that where you have an old father merrin at an archaeological site dusting off a small statue of Pazuzu…yet I’ve never seen it , I saw I picture of it someplace , but I’ve never seen it in the movie .
Apparently Pazuzu is from Assyrian and Babylonian mythology , he’s an evil spirit the chases away other evil spirits…
So that’s basically why I call it a demon …
Can I 100% without a shred of doubt say that I’m one of these demons …the truth is I cant , to be honest I cant really be sure about anything , that’s basically why I’m trying to learn all I can .
3 ) *Nods* yep its me , truth is I keep my eye’s on many forums , I’m just trying to get a wide a view as possible .
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