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Hiya...
JDRage
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Post: #1
Hiya...
Hi there , I’m Jonathan and I hail from bonnie Scotland

Truth be told I’ve been around many community’s for a great number of years , I’ve been mainly known by the names DarkRage or Jonathan , though when I’m writing I normally write under the handle of Jonathan D Rage …long story over years of writing.

So anything’s fine , I’m not picky .

Umm…why am I here ?

Truth be told , I’m just trying to learn as much as I can , I came across the term Otherkin many years ago , tried to learn as much as I could , unfortunately a lot of community’s went through really bad stages of apathy and silence , I could ask some questions on one site and not get anywhere for weeks , months or at all .

I was introduced to the idea of otherkin through a friend I made online many years back , she had some very interesting ideas , and through a lot of discussion and plenty of self reflection , we sort of both came to the conclusion that I could actually be kin myself ..

I’m sceptical …or in denial or something because its just something I’ve never been able to simply just blurt out …“heya , I’m a demon , how ya doin ?”

Its complicated …I’m different of that I simply cant deny , it’s the why I’m different that I’ve always struggled with , but in any case it’s a subject that I’ve always been very interested in and would love to hear of other people experiences .

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2009-07-26 17:19
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kahoku
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Post: #2
Re: Hiya...
welcome, fellow demon! <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

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2009-07-26 18:02
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Post: #3
Re: Hiya...
Welcome <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> A few questions:

1. What is your definition of demon?
2. How did you come to the conclusion that you're demonkin?
3. Do I know you from otherkin awakening or are you a different Jonathan?

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2009-07-26 20:28
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Post: #4
Re: Hiya...
Scotland is good stuff.

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

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2009-07-26 21:42
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JDRage
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Post: #5
Re: Hiya...
Thanks all for the warm welcome …

Ok I’ll try and answer your questions as best I can ..

1) I’ve studied the concept of angels and demons for many years , it’s a very old concept but also very misunderstood , you can pick out certain demons from religious writings or mythology , only to find that they’ve been branded as Demons due mainly to people’s biased religious feeling’s , so I don’t use the term “Demon” to say that I’m evil or bursting full of negative energy , the main reason I use the term demon is mostly because of my second answer…

2) In my own searching and self reflection took a long hard look at myself and my life , I’ve always had a dark side ...I don’t mean evil , its hard to explain , if I ever became too panicked or two stressed out , this part of me would take over …

I’m mean for long enough I thought I had a split personality , but I was always me …if you can understand that ?

I’ve known since day one I was different …but due to my situation , I’d didn’t realise I was different , I thought the things that I could do where completely normal and basically everybody could do them if given the proper guidance , precognition and psychic ability’s always seemed normal to me …

Psychic ability’s run in my family , my mother , father , grandmother and great grandmother all had them , so I was brought up in that kind of environment…events happened in my life and I turned away from ,well I guess my ability’s , but all the while this …I really don’t have a word for it , was with me .

A few years ago I tried to answer the question of why I was different , at the time I hadn’t heard of the term otherkin , I got caught in many of the online vampire community’s ( which still is a subject I’m very interested in ) and from within these community’s I basically learned of what the idea of Otherkin was .

I started deep meditations …something you get used to having psychic ability’s , but this time focused inward …

And that’s when I saw this , at first it scared me …I went through all the phases , from the “Oh god I’m evil” to “whoa! cool a demon “, and for a while I did turn away from it , but as the years go on , my feelings grew deeper and more profound , so I studied the idea’s of otherkin …mostly out of curiosity , but there has always been that part of me that wanted to know .

I was encouraged by a friend to go deeper , and I did , for the first time I really do believe I have seen bits of my past lives ….but as always , the sceptic in me fights back , you have to understand that I’m almost paranoid about deceiving myself , I think part of this is due to seeing other psychic’s end up on a path of almost complete self deception .

In any case I went looking for my demon , and over time it slowly took shape , from your basic physical description it looks like a big black winged humanoid demon with feline features , the face was something I always found the hardest to get …best way to describe it is to say the face is like Vincent’s …from the old beauty and the beast TV show …

Now at this point I’m still extremely sceptical that such a thing ever existed …that was until I actually saw it

This bit involves the exorcist movies believe it or not , when the movie Exorcist the beginning came out I picked up a copy in a special bargain with a few others , there’s a scene in the movie where father Merrin , climbs down into a cave and ends up standing in front of a statue of what is supposed to be Satan or something …it was basically then that it hit home , that statue was my demon , right down to the crossed wings and feline facial features even the tail …

I was frankly blown away …

So I went looking for this demon to find out as much about it as I could …I’ve actually studied occult demonology , but I’ve never heard of a Pazuzu before , even weirder , I’ve seen the original exorcist a few times , and I’m sure there’s a scene in that where you have an old father merrin at an archaeological site dusting off a small statue of Pazuzu…yet I’ve never seen it , I saw I picture of it someplace , but I’ve never seen it in the movie .

Apparently Pazuzu is from Assyrian and Babylonian mythology , he’s an evil spirit the chases away other evil spirits…

So that’s basically why I call it a demon …

Can I 100% without a shred of doubt say that I’m one of these demons …the truth is I cant , to be honest I cant really be sure about anything , that’s basically why I’m trying to learn all I can .

3 ) *Nods* yep its me , truth is I keep my eye’s on many forums , I’m just trying to get a wide a view as possible .
2009-07-26 23:00
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Post: #6
Re: Hiya...
You tricky little lurker, you <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue --> Thanks for sharing your answers by the way <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

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"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."-Poe
2009-07-26 23:27
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Post: #7
Re: Hiya...
Welcome to the forums JD. I hope you enjoy your stay.


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2009-07-27 12:52
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Post: #8
Re: Hiya...
JDRage Wrote:2) In my own searching and self reflection took a long hard look at myself and my life , I’ve always had a dark side ...I don’t mean evil , its hard to explain , if I ever became too panicked or two stressed out , this part of me would take over …

What do you mean by a "dark side"?

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

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2009-07-27 21:37
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Post: #9
Re: Hiya...
Archer Wrote:
JDRage Wrote:2) In my own searching and self reflection took a long hard look at myself and my life , I’ve always had a dark side ...I don’t mean evil , its hard to explain , if I ever became too panicked or two stressed out , this part of me would take over …

What do you mean by a "dark side"?

Like "yami" in Japanese means dark with a sinister, vengeful, etc. twist but does NOT mean evil?

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2009-07-27 22:53
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JDRage
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Post: #10
Re: Hiya...
I’ve been writing now for about an hour trying to express in words what my dark side is , doing it one way makes me sound like a repressed wimp ..doing it another way makes me sound like a homicidal maniac .

I’m not bursting with dark energy or surrounded in veil of chaos …I’ll be honest and say I wouldn’t know what that would be like even if I was .

Its partly being free …free of emotional constraints , its like I want to burst out from the inside , its emotion and its energy .

The simple fact is I cant explain it …I don’t know how to put the words together and I’m not even sure I have the words to put them together .

I’m sorry but that’s about the best I can do to try and answer your question .

and yes not evil...yes oh its so hard to describe , its not like i want to destroy the world or anything , i could say vengeful , fury , rage ...just not evil , not evil intent , if that makes any sense ?
2009-07-27 23:16
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