Sorry, I meant to post here first, but got all excited and distracted.
It is just easier for me to paste this from TrueForm Within than to write up another one, so forgive me if you've already read this.
My name is Tabitha, though it may be easier to just call me DJ or joy, and many people have so I will respond to it. I am 23 years old, married, and considering having children. I've been walking an odd path for the last eight years, everything from awakening as an otherkin and coming to terms with my self as Other to becoming aware that I am a daughter of Bast and identifying as a lay member of the Kemetic Orthodox Church.
Yet, as I grow older, I find that my path is not yet complete - I've had many pit stops along the way, many almost-derailments, and lost many friends because of it. It seems that whatever I do, wherever I go, I'm always teaching and learning lessons about myself and others that come with a great cataclysm, and much pain. I've identified as a 'psychic vampire' for a while now, and I know that I have the ability both drain and give energy, life force, chi, whatever you want to call it from donors - both willing and un. I've been drawn frequently in my lifetime to both left and right hand paths, I have memories of lives that I don't understand, and I've been torn about the Self, my Essential Self, Who I Really Am, for as long as I can recall. It seems that I struggle to find a balance, both within myself and within my interactions with those outside of myself. Hell, I've even gone to therapy to try to find a balance, and while it worked, it wasn't perfect and it wasn't a cure-all.
As far as abilities go, it seems I have a grab bag. I'm empathic, though I was afraid of it for a very long time and have shielded myself so thoroughly that it takes a very strong emotion or personality to break through. I sense spirits, primarily those who are not human, I practice tarot, I am gifted with psychometry and I am retrocognicent with occasional periods where I will foretell the future or have clairvoyance. I have even guided both myself and others through their past lives with meditation, tarot, and regressions.
Lately, though, I feel stagnant. I'm losing friends left and right, and those friends I do have are only marginally Awakened, or not Awakened at all, so it's hard to communicate what I feel and fear with them. I have my husband, and while he is Awakened, he travels a path of a lighter sort, and is deeply connected with Gaia and sometimes I find it hard to talk to him about the things that I See in dark moments, moments when my guard is down. That, and I love him so deeply I hesitate to do anything that would bring him pain.
Why do I say all this? I'm not really sure. I suppose I'm looking for someone who is like unto myself, someone who can help me, tell me I'm not losing my mind, tell me the last seven years of self-discovery haven't been in vain. More than that, though, I hope that I'm not alone, at least not completely. In many ways, I feel like a child, and I don't want to be alone and afraid any more.