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Hi?
just me
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Post: #1
Hi?
Idk what to say really... ello.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish--
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
from thy spirit they shall pass
No more-- like dew-drops from from the grass.

E. A. P.
2010-02-13 14:47
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Miniar
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Post: #2
Re: Hi?
Yo.

You could try and tell us a little bit about yourself.

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"Those who can't approach discussion with a basic level of intelligence and maturity shouldn't expect to be taken seriously." ~ Qualia Soup
2010-02-13 15:26
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just me
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Post: #3
Re: Hi?
Ok. I'm a vampire (obviously, it says so right there <!-- sTongue --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_razz.gif" alt=":P" title="Razz" /><!-- sTongue -->). I'm mostly concerned right now with energy, but I might (?) be sang as well. There's a lot I still do not understand about what I am, but I guess that's pretty much universal. I'm not sure if vampire is all that I am. I started to awaken about a year ago. I don't know if there's anything else you'd like to know?

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish--
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
from thy spirit they shall pass
No more-- like dew-drops from from the grass.

E. A. P.
2010-02-15 17:51
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Miniar
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Post: #4
Re: Hi?
Have you ruled out any mundane explanations to your symptoms?

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"Those who can't approach discussion with a basic level of intelligence and maturity shouldn't expect to be taken seriously." ~ Qualia Soup
2010-02-15 23:12
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Post: #5
Re: Hi?
Welcome to OKP!

Generally, people tell us how they came to the conclusion that they identify as Otherkin in their intros. <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

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Banner by me. If you want one too, see here.

"You're the best kind of crazy." -Murphy, The Dresden Files
2010-02-16 0:10
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just me
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Post: #6
Re: Hi?
Okay. I always thought vampires were in the movies and that's it. It started with some reaction to sunlight, it felt like there would be glass embedded in my skin if I was out for more than about 5 minutes, even with sunblock. I brushed this off, thinking 'hey, I got some kind of allergy, so what?' (to insert a note here, I've always had fairly severe insomnia, it's very rare for me to sleep more than 4-6 hours every 2 days and I've never had any problems with my energy level) My inability to be in the sun was getting worse over the summer, sometimes scratching my skin till it bled after going to check the mail or get something from the car.
I was having 'visions' that were bothering me- I'd see these transparent balls and differently colored 'waves' or what I've found out now is energy when I'd close my eyes. I also could see (like it formed itself in my mind, not physically seeing either) a sort of light surrounding people and sometimes animals. I suddenly couldn't eat any kind of meat (with the exception of chicken) without throwing it up. I was always craving very weird foods, and it grossed out my roommates to no end to see me mixing weird drinks in the kitchen- most of these are what I use now as substitutes for blood because I do not have a donor currently. Though I feed mostly off of energy, I have very severe blood cravings sometimes.

Back to the point. I was pretty much always awake, but couldn't go outside, getting off of work after sunrise (thankfully I usually get off just before or at the start) was hell, and I didn't know what was wrong with me. I seriously believed I needed to see a psychologist because obviously these symptoms were just in my head and I was crazy. If I had the money, I would've gone. Then I knew I was crazy. My roommate was draining the blood off of some meat to cook for the rest of them while I was cooking some ramen for myself, and I wanted the blood so bad I had to literally leave the room before I would grab the package and drink it.
I also had a roommate who was something, I'm really not sure what. He could control the weather (there were a lot of cloudy, rainy days that summer so we could go swimming or to the lake in pouring rain). I've also always been able to see spirits, but more of them seemed to be showing themselves to me now. I was more in tune to people's emotions than I had been previously. Memories of things that hadn't happened but would formed themselves in my mind whenever I slept or let myself get to a state I now equate with meditation.

I'd have conversations with people and stop them and say that we'd have this conversation before- and repeat it word for word. They'd just stare at me really hard and say that no, we hadn't talked about it but that was exactly what they were going to say to me. The night of work that I had been craving that blood so bad, 4 people at work randomly told me that I crave what I need. Which freaked me out further. I know now that I might've been accidentally sending them thoughts like I do to my fiance and roommates. That morning I went ahead and drained the rest of the ground beef- it was amazing.

I was now convinced I was nuts. I looked some things up online and found out about Renfield's syndrome, but it didn't fit. Wanting blood didn't make me feel powerful, just needy and weak.
I was frustrated and after feeling seriously sorry for my crazy self, I just pretty much asked the air "What the hell is wrong with me?!"
An answer just flooded me- vampire. And that day, 6 people asked me while my roommate and I were out shopping, "So, a vampire, aren't you?" Let me say here that I wasn't dressed like a goth that that day, looked completely normal and wasn't wearing fangs, nor was it Halloween. My fiance, who was then my boyfriend, was astral projecting and came to See me. Well, I was supposed to be asleep and he and a mutual friend of ours were supposed to pull me out (cause I haven't been able to project by myself) and we were going to go explore a certain ghost problem in my neighborhood. Well, I wasn't asleep. I was sitting up with my eyes open not looking at anything, pretty much in a trance. He said that he could see me pulling wandering energy to myself, literally sitting there absorbing it while I was in this trance. The only thing I remember is knowing that he and our friend were there and wanting to talk to them, but feeling like I was asleep. I figured out that a lot of what I think of as sleeping is actually trancing and drawing energy.

So I searched energy vampires. Thank God for google. A lot of the forums described exactly what I had gone through, with a few variations, mainly that the severe diet changes were usually linked to sanguinarians. That and the craving for blood make me think I must be some kind of hybrid. The more psychic-type abilities, especially being able to talk to someone on the phone or on the computer and see their surroundings (albeit not too well) and their energy and sharing thoughts with people, makes me wonder if that's all that I am.
But now that I know what I am, (and moved past the stage where I nearly killed myself from refusing to draw in ANY energy at all) I've developed a great deal in my energy work. Like being able to send energy to people who need it and acquire energy even from shadows and water, not just cast-off energy from people or directly from a donor, which is what makes me sure that I am a vampire. My fiance and his twin also think because of my feeding habits I may be a shadow also, but I don't really know what that is.
*shrugs* And that's how I came to the conclusion I was a vampire.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish--
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
from thy spirit they shall pass
No more-- like dew-drops from from the grass.

E. A. P.
2010-02-22 22:56
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just me
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Post: #7
Re: Hi?
Miniar Wrote:Have you ruled out any mundane explanations to your symptoms?

Besides severe mental disturbances and hallucinations that I'm working with energy? The only other explanation is that I have completely lost my grip on reality, but *smiles* anyone outside of the few people I know who believe me and these forums would think my explanation is crazy anyway.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish--
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
from thy spirit they shall pass
No more-- like dew-drops from from the grass.

E. A. P.
2010-02-22 23:00
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Jareth
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Post: #8
Re: Hi?
Been to a doctor and gotten blood tests, et cetera, to try to explain? Don't jump on the vampire bandwagon without ruling out mundane explanations - it's never nice when anaemics [used as example] shrug it off as something else and then end up seriously sick.

You are not special.
2010-02-27 6:19
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Archer
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Post: #9
Re: Hi?
just me Wrote:It started with some reaction to sunlight, it felt like there would be glass embedded in my skin if I was out for more than about 5 minutes, even with sunblock. I brushed this off, thinking 'hey, I got some kind of allergy, so what?'

What did your doctor say about this?

Quote:(to insert a note here, I've always had fairly severe insomnia, it's very rare for me to sleep more than 4-6 hours every 2 days and I've never had any problems with my energy level)

Noted for later . . .

Quote:I was having 'visions' that were bothering me- I'd see these transparent balls and differently colored 'waves'
Quote:I also could see (like it formed itself in my mind, not physically seeing either) a sort of light surrounding people and sometimes animals.
Quote:I suddenly couldn't eat any kind of meat (with the exception of chicken) without throwing it up.
Quote:I've also always been able to see spirits, but more of them seemed to be showing themselves to me now.
Quote:Memories of things that hadn't happened but would formed themselves in my mind whenever I slept or let myself get to a state I now equate with meditation.
Quote:I'd have conversations with people and stop them and say that we'd have this conversation before- and repeat it word for word.

Okay, in order, you've experienced:
-visual disturbances
-more visual disturbances
-nausea
-possible hallucinations
-possible hallucinations or delusions
-jamais vu

Every single one of those is a symptom of chronic sleep deprivation.

I'm not saying you're hallucinating and this is all in your head, not remotely. But you said that you get very little sleep and then described the symptoms of sleep deprivation . . . this to me seems like something you should look into carefully before jumping to other conclusions.

I'm also confused about a couple of things. First of all you've described craving for beef products, but secondly you said that meat other than chicken made you nauseus. How does that work?

Also, you said that your energy levels are fine - but the defining symptom of vampirism is energy deficiency. Why do you think you're a vampire who requires extra energy to thrive, if your energy levels are totally fine even if you don't "feed"?

Quote:That morning I went ahead and drained the rest of the ground beef- it was amazing.

I'm highlighting this point, because this is the second time you've referenced craving blood from meat - in this case beef, in another meat your roommate was about to cook. In other words: not human blood, not fresh blood, not "live" blood. Nope, old, cold, dead, animal blood.

Quote:And that day, 6 people asked me while my roommate and I were out shopping, "So, a vampire, aren't you?" Let me say here that I wasn't dressed like a goth that that day, looked completely normal and wasn't wearing fangs, nor was it Halloween.

No, but if you rarely go out in the sun (which must be the case, given how unpleasantly it affects you) then you will be noticably pale, and people do jokingly call very pale people vampires. Also if you are chronically sleep deprived and have problems eating the right/enough food, you could well have a rather gaunt appearance.

Quote:My fiance and his twin also think because of my feeding habits I may be a shadow also, but I don't really know what that is.
-

I know what that is <!-- s;-) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";-)" title="Wink" /><!-- s;-) --> I might not use the word in the same way that your fiancé does, though. What are your feeding habits, and what does your fiancé mean when he says shadow?

Fixed some quote-errors ~ Miniar

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

Quote:"I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood."

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2010-02-28 2:39
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Post: #10
Re: Hi?
I would also like to note that the red fluid that oozes from a raw steak is, strictly speaking, not actually blood.

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2010-02-28 18:58
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