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Hey!
Lacrimosa
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Post: #1
Hey!
I lurk here for some time already, but I haven't got time to properly introduce myself earlier... I usually fail at these things.

Oh, just one important thing - English is not my first launguage so I apologize for any mistakes.

Well, it's kind of hard explaining why I feel like certain kin and not-quite-human person, because most of things there can fit to non-kin people...
But at least I can assure you that I'm always questioning myself (and everything around actually) and for most of my life I denied all those little signs and whispers of my mind.
For some reason I always was fond of looking for any theories of spiritual forces, mythological creatures, legends and so. Gathering data about all of this was my little hobby... Until my machine crashed down and my parents weren't happy with how I space out from world at least. You know, parents aren't the best ones to talk about these things. Or at least mine aren't <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

I don't remember exactly when the 'Angel' term showed up in my head, but it just appeared 'too riddiculous' at that time, especially that I wasn't qute nice and holy. Then again I never thought about angels in these fluffy-loving-sparkly-type, more like fearsome warriors with fire swords descending down and bringing the apocalypse or so <!-- s:twisted: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":twisted:" title="Twisted Evil" /><!-- s:twisted: -->

I left the idea of Angels and went back to my awesome boring life, found some hobby and in the same moment I met people who had interest in spirituality and magic. I wasn't amazed by that because even before I somehow managed to meet people like these. I just thought I'm some weirdness magnet then. And for some reason I never was shocked by those things, I just asked questions and sometimes I didn't even had to ask. It felt like I knew most of these things already.

I stumbled on th subject of otherkin later on but still the idea of angel was rather hard to admit. I managed to wonder about it a bit more when my psychic friend said something about me and wings (yes I know it's symbolic trait - it's still somewhat important one even as a symbol), then I started to get pissed off by this lil 'sign' as I called it.
I'm not obsessing over anything much in my life and yet wherever I went my eyes would keep noticing angel drawings, the word itself then wings and so on. Yet another thing that since some time that random people I know started giving me angel-themed things. One guy I didn't even got to know too well (he's from different city) gave me handmade 'figure' of an hooded angel holding a sword, with "Redemption" carved under it.

Then I stumbled on that book of... Doreen Virtue. My hand just raised for it. And while was annoyingly sugary-sweet and I kept complaing about everything here being goody it gave me some idea. I tend to take things as hints, because I honestly can't place her all good and loving theories to life. They just doesn't sound 'right' <!-- s:evil: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_evil.gif" alt=":evil:" title="Evil or Very Mad" /><!-- s:evil: -->
Then there was this necklace with names of few angels that made me go back to this shop until I finally bought it... Again - a hint.

Oh about phantom-wings. I feel those being there. And since lately I came to realize that I might really be angelic at some sorts and finally admitted it before myself (there was a lot of doubting and questioning though) I felt a lot better, like feeling energy build up inside, some kind of strenght... Can't explain <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> sorry.

Oh, I'm highly empathic by the way. I happen to have some nice intuition to certain things and sometimes I act on instinct (f.e. few days ago something attacked my friend, she started feeling weak and she was about to fall asleep and I on instant got into meditation and tried to connect more with the place where she was. I didn't really know what I was doing but it felt like I was burning off things around her. After that she felt better and I was kind of shaky from using all of that energy. Note - my friend lives in different country. I still have no idea how I did that).

Oookay it's as much as I can place in my head for now. And mind it - I still question myself. I don't think I'd ever stop. I might be wrong. But I believe that originally I was some kind of angelic being. *goes to question herself more <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> *
2010-04-25 19:12
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kahoku
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Post: #2
Re: Hey!
welcome to okp! <!-- s:happy_demon: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/happy_demon.gif" alt=":happy_demon:" title="happy demon" /><!-- s:happy_demon: -->

i like your intro a lot, especially the fact that you don't jump to conclusions. oh, and that you never believed in the fluffy good angels but kept your own view... it was the same thing for me and demons. no matter how many people told me they were all evil and ugly, i never believed that.

i hope you'll enjoy your time here!

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2010-04-25 20:17
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Lacrimosa
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Post: #3
Re: Hey!
Thanks ^^ I tried my best with introduction. I "never say never" but I just don't like to take everything for granted and stop on that. I mean self discovering is surely more than that <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->

Ha! I bet I will enjoy my stay here. I saw a lot of forums with pure BS that made me want to burn things up. While people questioning certain topics is good the asking of 'which kin am I cause I'm this and that' is just o_O freaking stupid.

No wonder this forum is for registered users only - I saw so much idiocracy, bs and bashing from closed-minded people that it gives me a headache xD

Ugly demons? I'd rather say they would have the good looks and the somewhat charming aura to lure others in <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->
2010-04-25 20:26
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Seraphyna
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Post: #4
Re: Hey!
Welcome <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile --> I'm sure you've considered this already, but having a thing for angels and running into things with angels often doesn't make you an angel. *shrug*


We like to think we get rid of the idiots rather swiftly around here *giggles maniacally*

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"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost."-Tolkien
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."-Poe
2010-04-25 21:40
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Lacrimosa
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Post: #5
Re: Hey!
Yeah I know that's why I doubt myself that much <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink --> It just seems to 'click' in my brain somehow. And yet it doesn't seem to be as simple as that, most often the words are off, the modern meanings are off and trying to connect the bits and pieces in my head is pain.
World is so big after all and we know less than little from it all.

(Oh, I don't know if other people have the same feeling but I think that something big is gonna come up in the future (and no I don't mean the 2012) *shrug* kinda weird feeling... )
2010-04-26 7:20
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House Hesson
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Post: #6
Re: Hey!
Seraphyna Wrote:We like to think we get rid of the idiots rather swiftly around here *giggles maniacally*

And the misconceptions...well, not always swiftly, but we try!

Hope you enjoy it here. I think the combination of open mind and careful consideration of possibilities means you'll fit in nicely.

-Shaynin

"All knowledge is worth having." -Phedre no Delaunay

"Everything has a price." -Jaenelle Angelline

"I think if you try, that's being your best." -Echo
2010-04-29 18:40
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Shel_bee
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Post: #7
Re: Hey!
Welcome welcome im new too its very nice to meet you =)

Dream like you'll live forever, Live like you'll die tomorrow
2010-05-07 5:38
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