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Hello o_o
SergeiRaine'Nit
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Post: #1
Hello o_o
Hello...

Well, basically... I know that I'm otherkin, but I'm not sure what exactly I am. I may be some kind of nature spirit, but I could be wrong.... I've tried doing research, but so far that has failed miserably...

For several years, I have known, felt, that, at least internally, I'm not human. I've felt this way, off and on, since I was little to be honest.

A few of the things that I experience:
I feel a connection to nature.... particularly running around freely in it, also, when I was younger I felt that someplace else was my "home" (perhaps some sort of plains).
I don't feel very connected to my body...at times it does things that seem rather "unnatural" to me, like when I bleed. Having a "flesh and blood" body sometimes feels completely foreign, and can get to a point where it feels overwhelming wrong, even sickening.
I fail to comprehend human emotions.... From a logical stand point I can somewhat understand them, but they still don't make much sense to me. A few years ago I had been empathic, which annoyed me greatly. I also lack many social skills, but that may be more related to my upbringing than anything else.


I know, that's a crappy introduction <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

(I'm not looking for someone to point and say "Hey, you're ______!")

~Raine
2010-01-12 2:00
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Post: #2
Re: Hello o_o
If you don't know what kind of otherkin you are, why do you say you "know" you're otherkin? Not believe, not think, not wonder - but know?

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

Quote:"I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood."

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2010-01-12 2:42
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SergeiRaine'Nit
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Post: #3
Re: Hello o_o
Archer Wrote:If you don't know what kind of otherkin you are, why do you say you "know" you're otherkin? Not believe, not think, not wonder - but know?

Well... I have a strong, innate, instinctual feeling that what resides in my body is not human. This feeling, even if loosely, does resonate in me with the details that I had provided. I have knowledge of this feeling, which crops back even if I deny it, so therefore, I know that I am not human, and therefore would be considered otherkin.

I am unsure of what type of otherkin I am... I have an idea, but I cannot say with confidence that I am that type... Overall I tend to be a logical person, but much about me is strongly... instinctual, for lack of something better. Because of the strength behind this feeling about being other, I can say that I know I am other...but because of uncertainty of my being I cannot say for sure what I am, but I feel that I can still say what doesn't feel right. I would prefer to avoid going around saying that I am one type of kin, only to find out later that something else "felt more right." I have been through that before with other things and I hate how that feels.

Sorry if that turned out convoluted. <!-- s:oops: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" title="Embarrassed" /><!-- s:oops: -->

~Raine
2010-01-12 4:00
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Post: #4
Re: Hello o_o
Not at all, it makes perfect sense.

If you don't have a feeling as to what you are, how are you able to interpret a "not human" feeling? Why do you believe that feeling is something not-human (as opposed to, for example, feeling alienated - which is a very normal human sensation)? Are you able to describe it any more than simply not feeling human - is it a sense of body wrongness, of lack of connection with family, or something else entirely?

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

Quote:"I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood."

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2010-01-12 5:10
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Post: #5
Re: Hello o_o
Archer Wrote:Not at all, it makes perfect sense.

If you don't have a feeling as to what you are, how are you able to interpret a "not human" feeling? Why do you believe that feeling is something not-human (as opposed to, for example, feeling alienated - which is a very normal human sensation)? Are you able to describe it any more than simply not feeling human - is it a sense of body wrongness, of lack of connection with family, or something else entirely?

Well, to quote myself....

SergeiRaine'Nit Wrote:Hello...

I don't feel very connected to my body...at times it does things that seem rather "unnatural" to me, like when I bleed. Having a "flesh and blood" body sometimes feels completely foreign, and can get to a point where it feels overwhelming wrong, even sickening.
I fail to comprehend human emotions.... From a logical stand point I can somewhat understand them, but they still don't make much sense to me. ... I also lack many social skills, but that may be more related to my upbringing than anything else.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate this body most of the time. I actually tend to find it rather fascinating. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

As for my family, I feel a connection to my parents because they raised me. The rest of the family I'm not really connected to, but that is because I have spent a great deal less time around them. I am not one to care for someone just because they are blood relatives. As a whole, I do not feel as if I am that connected to anyone, and what connections I have were not easily made, but I am unsure how this would compare to another's experience. Though, I never really attribute these connections to anything non-human in nature.

~Raine
2010-01-12 5:44
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Post: #6
Re: Hello o_o
welcome. did you bring cookies? <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

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2010-01-12 8:14
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SergeiRaine'Nit
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Post: #7
Re: Hello o_o
kahoku Wrote:welcome. did you bring cookies? <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Erm... >_> I have some stale ones in my cupboard, want one? <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->
2010-01-12 14:11
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Post: #8
Re: Hello o_o
...two? ...three? <!-- s:happy_demon: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/happy_demon.gif" alt=":happy_demon:" title="happy demon" /><!-- s:happy_demon: -->

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2010-01-12 15:30
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Post: #9
Re: Hello o_o
I was trying to work out if there was anything more specific than in your first post.

Is this an accurate summation?
-your body feels overwhelming/foreign (but what does this mean? You said it's particularly noticable when you bleed. What else causes this feeling? Is it a feeling that your body is the wrong shape, that you shouldn't have a body at all, or that you aren't really "in" your body - or something else?)
-human emotions don't make sense to you (again - does this mean that you don't feel emotions, that you feel them but don't get led by them, that you don't understand why certain situations cause certain emotions, that you've never been scared - or something else? How does formerly being empathic relate to this?)

Why all the questions? Well, simple. "My body feels alien and I don't understand emotions" is really, really general. It could mean that you feel like you should have a tail and you've never been in love . . . or it could mean that sensory perception is completely baffling and you have no conscious awareness of your own reactions . . . or it could mean something completely different. It could mean that you're a totally normal human who finds some of life confusing, or it could mean you're actually a sentient smell from another universe, or it could mean something else entirely (or nothing at all).

So rather than just leaving it at the very vague feelings of body-wrongness and difficulty with emotion, I'd like to understand what you really experience.

Ubi Dubium, Ibi Libertas

Quote:"I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood."

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2010-01-12 16:20
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Post: #10
Re: Hello o_o
Archer Wrote:-your body feels overwhelming/foreign (but what does this mean? You said it's particularly noticable when you bleed. What else causes this feeling? Is it a feeling that your body is the wrong shape, that you shouldn't have a body at all, or that you aren't really "in" your body - or something else?)

Bleeding draws my attention to my body... I got this feeling like I shouldn't be able to bleed, something about it doesn't click. Then I am either intrigued by the bleeding, or I have gotten a feeling where, it just "feels wrong," and I was sickened by it, and everything about having a body felt wrong. As a human, my body does feel like it is the wrong shape, but that is something unrelated to this. When I feel like this, it feels as though I shouldn't have a body, and I am still very much in my body, much to my dismay when it got really bad.

Archer Wrote:-human emotions don't make sense to you (again - does this mean that you don't feel emotions, that you feel them but don't get led by them, that you don't understand why certain situations cause certain emotions, that you've never been scared - or something else? How does formerly being empathic relate to this?)

To me, it seems that someone who is empathic should have at least a decent grasp of emotions, but maybe I'm wrong. I can and do feel emotions, though they tend to stay away from the extremes. There have been quite more than a few times where it would seem that a person should feel a general particular way in a certain situation and I don't feel anything at all, but I have still proven capable of experiencing emotion. I have a problem being able to explain how I feel emotion wise, I don't understand them within myself so much beyond "my body is behaving X way that is indicative of X emotion, so I am probably experiencing X emotion." Emotions in other people, I can generally still tell what they are feeling, but I don't understand why they are feeling it, I may understand, at least somewhat, from a logical standpoint, but I still don't fully get it.

Archer Wrote:Why all the questions? Well, simple. "My body feels alien and I don't understand emotions" is really, really general. It could mean that you feel like you should have a tail and you've never been in love . . . or it could mean that sensory perception is completely baffling and you have no conscious awareness of your own reactions . . . or it could mean something completely different. It could mean that you're a totally normal human who finds some of life confusing, or it could mean you're actually a sentient smell from another universe, or it could mean something else entirely (or nothing at all).
So rather than just leaving it at the very vague feelings of body-wrongness and difficulty with emotion, I'd like to understand what you really experience.

Questions are fine, I just misunderstood and had the impression that you hadn't fully read what I initially wrote, but I was wrong. It's okay. <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->

My body feeling alien... is a feeling like I shouldn't really have one, yes that is vague, I just don't know really a better way of putting it. <!-- sSad --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_sad.gif" alt=":(" title="Sad" /><!-- sSad -->

Sensory perception isn't completely baffling to me, it is the thing that I actually enjoy about having a body, it's what brings me the most fascination. I wouldn't call it baffling, it's more along the lines of a new experience. I love being able to see what something feels like, what something smells like, provided of course that it isn't something completely disgusting.

I do understand that there is a possibility that I may be nothing other than a human, but that still wouldn't change the fact that I don't feel human. Does that make sense?

~Raine
2010-01-12 20:56
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