Hello Again

Just wanted to say 'hello' here. I am not newly awakened, but have come back online after a long break to deal with other serious issues. There are some familiar names here (people I have missed!) and some new voices too. I am looking forward to fruitful discussion with you all. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s -->

Welcome back!

If I may ask, what's a "shiri"? And how did you come to discover that about yourself?

Shiri is a race of elves, but different from Elenari (or what I understand of the Elenari anyway) in that they are fae touched from having spent time in Faerie. It took many, many years to figure out that I was Shiri. When I was maybe 12 or 13, back before the days of internet, I started having very violent vivid 'dreams'. At that time I was utterly convinced that they were not just dreams, but I did not really have anyone to speak to about it. If there was an otherkin community back then, I did not know about it. I really resisited the whole thing and tried to bury the awakening for many years. (I can't help but wonder if that is also true with others who are older, and did not have the online (or any) community?)

The dreams continued, but eventually grew less frequent until many years later (in my early 20's) when they flared up again. This time, I decided to look into them more carefully and to meditate a bit. I had a sense of what I was, but also thought I was probably a bit crazy, because 'elves and such are not real'. In the end, I did some research online (an old article on a site dedicated to the Elenari) and some of what was written there precisely matched those earlier 'dreams'. It wasn't just a vague feeling, or a vague correspondance either. I joined an online forum, keeping an open mind (in case I was wrong after all), and started doing some serious work (meditation) and speaking with others. I have had some success with this, but I hardly know enough about my past and am looking to do more work on this again.

That's a really abbreviated version, but I hope it answers your questions for now.

Selana Wrote:If there was an otherkin community back then, I did not know about it. I really resisited the whole thing and tried to bury the awakening for many years. (I can't help but wonder if that is also true with others who are older, and did not have the online (or any) community?)

I didn't exactly bury my awakening, but I didn't exactly accept it either. On the surface, I used it as fodder for writing fictional stories. I tried put put any thoughts about it being more than just fiction out of my mind, sometimes with more success than others. But since I did use it that way, I can't really take it at face value now. I don't know at this point which parts were original and which parts I added on to make the stories work. So now I tend to take a couple steps back and look at the overlying themes rather than the details, but I can't toss the details out the window either. I don't know which ones might be important.

In some ways I think my lack of involvement in a community during those years makes me more 'pure' in that I had no social confirmation for the things that commonly come up in otherkin discussions, such as phantom limbs, believing I came from 'somewhere else,' feeling not quite human, and an interest in the paranormal. On the other hand I'm also a bit more 'corrupted' in that I didn't take it completely seriously so I know I can't trust my memories any further than I can throw them.

I also have not yet heard anyone else describe anything that sounds similar to the place I used to think of as 'home.' I'm starting to think that if one of my suspected other selves was asleep and dreaming, that might be the kind of place he'd dream about. Maybe the place existed and maybe it didn't.

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. A presence I've not felt since . . .

^_^ welcome back ^_^

Archer Wrote:I feel a great disturbance in the Force. A presence I've not felt since . . .

Don't make me send a rouge squadron after you!!

Selana Wrote:

Archer Wrote:I feel a great disturbance in the Force. A presence I've not felt since . . .

Don't make me send a rouge squadron after you!!

I have a bad feeling about this...thread.

I don't want to hear any more about Obi Wan!!!!!

Archer Wrote:I don't want to hear any more about Obi Wan!!!!!

Ewwwww!!! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->