Hallo, everybody. You may call me Este.
Good evening, everybody; it is my very good pleasure to make your acquaintance.
As this is my introductory thread here, I suppose I shall preemptively answer questions that have been asked frequently of me on past occasions during my interactions with the online community.
Also, for any who notice or care, I am also recently a member of the forum True Self.
1. Where did you get your username?
-It is a portmanteau of the names of two seraphs.
2. You mean seraphim?
-No, I mean seraphs. By my observation, the term "seraphim" can be used more accurately to describe a pair of individual seraphs who work together on a full-time basis. The plural of a singular seraph is seraphs, and distinguishes the individuals from the functional unit of two individuals.
3. Do you always talk like that?
-In a public post online or a public interaction IRL, yes, I most always speak in this manner. When I am discussing matters in a more private venue, I relax my speech patterns and am more likely to incorporate slang and abbreviations.
Occasionally I will spell words oddly. This is a direct result of my multilingual background, but I am very much conscious of when I am using an aberrant spelling of a common word. I find simply that some arrangements of letters are more aesthetically pleasing to me.
4. Are you British or something?
-I am not British by any means, but I have been asked this frequently. I am currently a resident of the southernmost portion of Illinois, United States of America. I am of some Scottish descent, and I grew up next door to Welsh twins, but my immediate family and I are very much native to the area; I am more Cherokee than Scottish. My Cherokee relatives call me Inali, 'black fox'. It is a masculine name; I am not male. A few Scottish Wiccan friends of my family call me Seobhag Ghorm, 'blue hawk/peregrine falcon'. I answer to Inali and Bluehawk as well as Este; they are my usernames on other sites. The names were given, not chosen.
5. Are you a guy?
-I am very much female, thank you.
6. How old are you?
-Does it matter?
To phrase it another way, based on my diction, syntax, and semantics, do you believe you could accurately assign an age to me?
I do not post my age, legal name, or specific location in public venues. I am more than happy to clarify such details in private correspondence with people I respect and trust to some extent.
I give you this much: I am a student at university; my major is architecture. I have played piano for sixteen years, clarinet for eleven years, and violin for six years. My personal library exceeds eight hundred books at the time of this posting (I keep a physical card catalogue), and I estimate [on the low end of estimation, not exaggeration] that I have read approximately twenty thousand books in my lifetime.
I say these things not to display an overestimation of my self-worth; I say them to give a better understanding that I do not say anything lightly or without intent. I mean what I say, and for such things as can be proven, I generally speak from a position of having done considerable research on the matter.
7. About that last part... why?
-This one is easy: I can't lie.
Not don't, not wouldn't unless I had to, but cannot, within the limit of my ability to know if a statement is or is not true. I save you all the trouble of reading a bunch of neuroscience; here's the short form: OCD isn't always manifest in the form of repetitive actions, and there are injuries that can occur to a young brain that render it unable to communicate statements with a negative truth value.
If I am aware that a statement is blatantly untrue, I cannot speak it. I cannot type it. The attempt to do so causes a mental wall to jump up between my intent and my action.
I can be sarcastic, but only if I clearly indicate within the communication that the statement made is sarcastic in nature.
Therefore I reiterate: I can't lie; if I say something, it is fairly safe to assume I am convinced I am speaking factually.
8. What brought you to the forum here?
-Since I was fifteen I have been aware of two unique consciousnesses existing parallel to the consciousness I identify as "me."
read: I hear voices.
They identify themselves as Estael and Lorael, two seraphs who work together as partners. They have indicated that they have been with me since I was an infant, but they chose to remain silent until I reached an age in which I could comprehend them "rationally."
Accompanying their presence in my mind is an overwhelmingly unpleasant ability that, unfortunately, neither they nor I have the ability to entirely suppress or "turn off": empathy, both emotional and physical, to other human beings within a distance range that varies depending on the population density of the area I inhabit.
Several of my friends and I have tested the ability over different distances and degrees of observation; it has been consistently and conclusively accurate even when I am unable to see the human who is the source of the sensation(s) I experience.
The most definitive example of this was an occasion in which a vehicular collision occurred six miles outside the town where I lived; I recorded the time and specific sensations on paper and then immediately e-mailed them to a friend who lived on the outskirts of town.
She followed the ambulance to the site of the accident and confirmed it to me. The local news the following morning provided a second confirmation.
Those who share brainspace with me have spoken with me at length regarding the nature of the universe, and I would be more than happy to discuss those communications with anybody here. Right now, however, I believe this post has been quite long enough, and I wish to stress that I do not desire to convert any person or persons to my beliefs. I came here to exchange perspectives with other potential hosts-of-angels in a friendly and peaceable setting, and by no means am I going to enforce upon others the conviction that my words and beliefs are law.
I do assert, however, that as far as I am concerned, everything I state here is factual in nature. That is, to my knowledge, I am not lying, and if I believed myself to be lying, I would be unable to communicate it.
I wish all blessings and good things for those who frequent this forum, and I thank you for indulging my lengthy rambling.