Greetings From Jafira Dragon
Hello, My name is Jafira Dragon, (JD For short) I have existed in this form on this rock for twenty four years, and have been awakened for at least half of them. I can mention that I am shy, and quite honestly nervous on the internet, I am not aware of the customs such as how things work and how to act, and I wish not to screw up, so forgive me if I write essay responses or whatever, it is mostly for the purpose of being understood, full disclosure and what have you.
I can mention that I dabble strongly in metaphysics, the paranormal, and most all things spiritual, I can be overly idealistic or naive at times and I am working on that, otherwise I like to think of myself as pretty normal, other then the whole "I am a dragon" thing, that and social phobia's. Anyway, a friend linked me to this site and I figured I would drop by and introduce myself.
On line I am known as Jafira, however I consider my true name to be Korageth. I have perceived myself to be a dragon in spirit. As well as having priorly perceived myself to have been in contact with additional dragon spirits for most of my teens. I first suspected my draconity when I was quite young, perhaps between the ages of six and ten. As I grew older I tried desperately to suppress such beliefs as they were not socially accepted.
For many years my belief would come and go until I first gained access to the Internet. Upon discovering a site called Altfandra nearly a decade ago, I have since known that I am not alone. That moment in time changed my life forever, no longer did I have a reason to suppress such thoughts, no longer was I the only one with such irrational perceptions.
Keeping in mind that I had suppressed my draconity for most of my teen years, I am ashamed to say that when I first discovered that I was not alone in my beliefs, I immediately begun an attempt to "dig up" all that I had previously suppressed. In my rush during that time period I fell into the trap of filling gaps with fantasy, foolishly filling in gaps with a fictional reality.
As a result I later hit a collection of walls and had to start from scratch. The experience was difficult but allowed me to grow as a result. I can state for certain that growing up I had one distinct segment of my mind or thoughts which I had associated as a dragon, later in life that aspect of my mind or spirit segmented into three distinct dragon persona's or spirits. I begun as a singular spiritual consciousness and became a multiple.
I got into some trouble trying to comprehend how three dragon "spirits" could end up occupying one physical form without conflict and as mentioned foolishly filled the gaps with fantasy. It took me a long time afterwards to separate the facts from the fantasy, and it was not fun, as a result I still do not have all the answers that I seek.
I believe myself to have been a dark or black scaled western style dragon in a past life, nomadic in nature, last residing in a wilderness region consisting of mountains, plains, rivers, and lakes, as well I have a vision of having met my end to life by having been slain outside a ruined building alongside a (controversial) humanoid canine companion. The name of this dragon which I believe myself to have been in a past existence was Korageth. I base these beliefs off of numerous recurring dreams, visions, meditation, emotions, phantom limbs, and just an inner knowing.
The two other draconic persona's which came into my life during my teen years, appeared about six months after I had survived a near fatal accident. The two new dragons appeared to me as sentient thoughts and personalities within my mind, yet separate from my own thoughts. They had distinct names appearances, and personalities, but no history. I strongly believe that they were somehow memories or segments of my dragon spirit Korageth, that had somehow fragmented to allow me a better understanding of my past and present, and that in time they would likely meld back into their original state. (which they apparently did)
Of these two additional draconic aspects, the first appeared as a young green dragon named Jafira with a playful and curious disposition, the other was an elderly western dragon of a yellowish coloration, his name was Veltra and he tended to be very analytical. The two additional "spirits" interacted with me and helped me to achieve some great accomplishments in my teen years leading up to present. However with the exception of the false history I had wrote for them, I knew little for certain of their purpose or origin. They just appeared one day.
The only reasonable explanations for my additional dragon spirits Jafira and Veltra, were that they were walkins, or as mentioned above prior incarnations or memories of Korageth, personifying within my conscious mind due to some form of spiritual or psychological fragmentation. I honestly never knew for sure. For the most part however they're presence was always secondary to myself and my dragon aspect Korageth.
Because I appeared to have multiple dragon persona's rather then the common single aspect, I was often weary of discussing my draconity or otherkinism. I often feared that others may have assumed that I was posing, Rping, confused or simply insane and I honestly allowed that fear to hold me back for years I am sad to say.
Recently within the past year, the Jafira and Veltra consciousness's slowly became less present within my being, my true draconic aspect Korageth begin to become more dominant, and it appeared that the other two did indeed somewhat merge into my being, their aspects and thoughts melding into my own, combining into a single entity becoming less segmented and fractured, and more whole and focused. It seems that since fairly recently the two additional dragon spirits have ceased to exist in any recognizable form, and I am as I was before their arrival. A dragon pretending to be human, or vice versa, in either case, one believing himself to have been a dragon.
I do know that the otherkin and dragonkin society is open but I had always had a certain shyness or fear of being judged. One weakness which I still fight to overcome. Although I do often fear that others may not take me seriously I know personally that I am only being what I am, I had fought for years to run from this aspect of myself and failed miserably, I cannot change what I am inside, even if I wanted to. I can only be myself, and I am a dragon. It was only in the realization and acceptance of the fact that I was a dragon in spirit and in mind that I achieved the peace and balance that I was missing from my life. It was as if a missing piece to the puzzle of who I was had been found and things finally begin to make sense.
My Draconity has been a long stressful journey encompassing many years of my life, but it is a part of who I am, and as a result I know myself better and have become a stronger person. I have also learned that draconity is not for everyone, it is not simply a game, it is a state of being, you cannot simply choose to be a dragon, you either are or you are not, and the experiences that one will face through draconity are a mixed blessing at best with positives and negatives, but in the end ones reward is the knowing of ones true inner spirit.