I've somehow just... always known. The wolf-baboon-cat-thingy lifetime was definitely male. The last Shinoar lifetime I remember, decidedly female. I know for certain that mine was the gender that was going to bear the offspring, despite the fact that shinoar "feminine" is western culture "masculine", ie, aggressive, competitive, dominant, etc. This is because we were the larger, more muscular gender, and more aggressive by nature. I still have a tendency to treat males as needing protecting, and expect to be deferred to in certain situations, which leads to all kinds of awkward.