Geeky Jokes

Got a bad in-joke? one that you'll be lucky if 6 people get? Say it here and see who gets it!

A man collapses in a park. Another man comes running over, horrified.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"I think I just need some sleep. I've been up for a week straight on only caffiene."
"Are you sure you're okay? What's 2+2?"
"10."
"Someone call an ambulan-"
"In base 4! I'm fine!"

Q: Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 is Dec 25.

A poem:

12 + 144 + 20 =x
x + (3*(4^(1/2))) = y
y/7 = z
z + (5*11) = a
a = (9^2) + 0

"A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared, and not a bit more."

(4b^2)^(1/2)
That is the question.

You are the king of geek-jokes, simim, unless somebody proves me wrong. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" title="Very Happy" /><!-- s -->

<3

Oh, Simim, will you ever cease to amuse me? :3

You rock.

I try. XD

I've got a million and two of these things. I love math jokes. Math jokes, and blasphemous ones.

I can see that my jokes were a triumph. I'll just make a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction...

On another note: Geeky Pickup lines.

"If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."
"I Wish I Were Your Derivative So I Could Lie Tangent To Your Curves!"

simim23 Wrote:(4b^2)^(1/2)
That is the question.

I want to so hurt you now *sarcasm*. You just HAD to resurrect that formula in my memory didn't you?

Well now, if we're getting into pick op lines of the geeky variety:
(Warning: a lot of these are highly suggestive without technically saying anything bad)

Wanna form a covalent bond?
You impress me more than the fundamental theorem of calculus
How 'bout you come back to my room and check out my slide-rule
You are the cure to my testicular cancer
Hey babe...Got any Plasma in your Flux? Want some?
Baby when I'm with you I feel like my quantum can flux and i can walk through walls!
If I could be your integral, I'd be indefinite, so I can be the area under ALL your curves.
I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.
Hey baby, Wanna flocculate?
Baby, I need you like a Radeon X850 needs a 400W power supply!
Hi, I’m writing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta-test?
You look like you could use a few megabytes of RAM from this Hard Drive
Would you like to be the numerator or the denominator?
You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
Hey baby... I am a chemist... I make chemistry.
Are you an angel, because your texture mapping is divine! (for all you angelic types out there)
Is that a Cryptobranchid in your pants? or are you just happy to see me?
Hey baby, you need a ride Ohm?
"Are you a complex number?--'cause you're just as I imagined!
I wish I had chloroplasts...the way you light up a room.
You're like the calcium in my calcium channels baby, without you I'd be limp.
Wanna see what will happen if I get my lower level high near your tropical depression?
Wanna see how hot it gets when I fly past your astroid belt and make my way towards your inner planets?
I got a hard drive for your scsi adapter!
Girl you just upgraded my floppy into a hard drive
Hey baby you get me so hot my base elements turned strait from solid to plasma
Girl you're finer then a monomolecular strand
Let's go experiment and see if we can slap our quantum planes to form a big bang
Girl you turn me on so much I wanna Pon Farr with you
I wanna stream my anti protons through your dilithiam chamber
Can I vent my plasma through your nacells?
Girl you get me harder then writing a novel in Iambec Pentameter
Girl wanna go back to my place and see if I can get my golgi apparatus into your rough endoplasmic reticulum
Want some of my RAM stick, i promise you wont forget....
I need a drive bay to put my hard drive...
I'm a level 12 padalin in D&D....
My crotch will perform a combustion reaction on your face forming a white percipitate.
I hope you know binary, 'cuse were combining 1 and 0 tonight
Hey, Baby -- how about I tinker w/ your software while you turn on my hardware?
Hey, Baby -- I'm DNA helicase. Can I unzip your genes?
Hey, Baby -- wanna be sinusoidal functions? We could oscillate horizontally.
Hey, Baby -- let's make like sinusoidal functions and oscillate horizontally.
Hey, baby -- wanna test the 'k' of my bedsprings?
Hey, baby -- want a hot Euler massage?
Hey, Baby -- I can tinker w/ your software if you turn on my hardware.
Hey, Baby -- I'm DNA helicase! Can I unzip your genes/jeans?
hey, baby -- let's integrate; i'll find the area under your curves.
hey baby, let's calculate g -- the acceleration of your clothes hitting the floor.
hey, baby, - you've got more curves than a triple integral!
Asexual reproduction is for pansies! <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->
Hey girl you are the macrophage of my bacteria.
Without you my redox reaction has not electrons.
You do not know how good it would be if you let my R-factot into your DNA.
Sidle up to him, put your chin on his shoulder and say, "Hey baby, may I show you my stamp collection?"
YES! I AM a philatelist!!
You're sweeter than glucose.
Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me?
Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.

REMEMBER, Women are like Eigenvalues.
The complex ones leave you going in circles
The positive ones are unstable
The only stable ones are generally negative
And Double means Trouble

I'm a prime number and you're the only one I would like to be divided by...
Come over here and let me unzip your DNA!
ME + YOU = A VERY HOT REACTION THAT SETS OFF EXOTHERMIC, FOOL! EXOTHERMIC!!!!
you know, my bed is a great active site for us substrates to get together...
baby ive free-fallen for you
let's go over to my place and practice multiplying
"Hey Baby, Can I free your radicals?"
"Wanna see my automatic pippettor?"
"Want something to mouth pippette, I've got a rod I think you can handle?"
baby, you've got my laptop overheating
"I'd like to defrag your hard drive."
"How'd you like to come over and see my mega bits?"
"I promise I don't megabyte, I only nibble."
"Can I plug my firewire into your port?"
Lets get into a incremental workload and reach your age predicted heart rate baby
You make my synapse fire

ok chai, I'm fighting back. mostly because I'm over tired. I'm turning you down <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->. Although, I will admit most are lacking.

Wanna form a covalent bond? Sorry I'm into ionic bonding and you appear to have a similar charge.
How 'bout you come back to my room and check out my slide-ruleNo, from what i can see it would be lucky if it calculated a second decimal.
Hey babe...Got any Plasma in your Flux? No, i like my gases noble and stable.
Baby when I'm with you I feel like my quantum can flux and i can walk through walls! Baby, tunnel on your own time.
I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.Sorry, you have the wrong slopes for that.
Hey baby, Wanna flocculate?Looks like I already got you to, so let not repeat.
Would you like to be the numerator or the denominator?I'm imaginary so the idea is irrational.
Hey baby... I am a chemist... I make chemistry.*holds nose* An organic chemist, I'm sure. You may want to cut back on methane production.
Hey baby, you need a ride Ohm?You haven't got the voltage to get me there
Girl wanna go back to my place and see if I can get my golgi apparatus into your rough endoplasmic reticulumLol, so you're telling me it's forms a vesicle and detaches.
I hope you know binary, 'cuse were combining 1 and 0 tonight.You maybe trying, but I'm still turned off.
you know, my bed is a great active site for us substrates to get together...Sorry, *points at fist* Have you met the inhibitor.