Failure to energize?

After a long period of inactivity in anything spiritual, I've recently begun to work with energy again, and I've found that I'm running into the same problems with working with my own energy, the most significant of which is I can't identify it? I think this may tie in with some of the previous things I've mentioned, merely another facet of it. I'm also getting mixed messages as to it's nature, and to that end I have difficulty manipulating it in any useful way(even shielding). Has anyone had this type of problem before?

The second part of this problem is, I was for a while operating under a certain assumption, that my energy had a darker tone to it(possible shadow energy) but in somewhat of a counter-intuitive way, when I try to relax and raise energy(as one might do during chakra work or etheric projection), it seems almost as if this rising sensation coincides with a "brightening" sensation? Which seems strange to me because I'm not very fond of light at all, save for maybe a desklamp or a glowstick.. and last night when I recognized this, I was hesitant to continue because seemed so unnatural that my energy would have this property. Am I merely misconstruing the rising of activity(frequency) of my subtle body or is there something else I'm missing? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

When you say you can't identify your own energy, do you mean you can't put a name to it (as in "this is shadow energy"), you can't recognise it in other things (eg "oooh, that astral entity feels like I do!") or you can't feel it in yourself ("Huh? Is that my energy or is it just a muscle cramp?") . . . or something else?

My instinct would be to not try to raise a specific kind of energy (eg shadow), but simply work on raising energy and observing what it's like. If you previously felt shadowy but now your energy seems lighter, that's not of itself a bad thing. It might mean that your perception is changed, it might mean that your energy currently has a different flavour due to not being explored in a while, it might mean that your observational skills are off.

For example, the first time I knowingly went astral, my body looked like it was made of light. Freaked me out no end and never happened again. In retrospect though I think it was just that my energy levels were far higher than I was accustomed to, so it sort of overloaded my ability to perceive myself and blinded me. Conversely, while on the one hand shadow energy looks black to me, on the other hand when I'm doing energy work I can perceive information in shadow energy as easily as I can perceive information in light or sound when I'm wide awake.

I don't see why "unnatural" should bother you - just be concerned about things that are harmful. If the energy you're currently drawing up is harmful to you I think that will become obvious fairly quickly. Of course you'll only know that if you actually work the energy, not if you avoid it. On the other hand, although it seems strange, it might be perfectly healthy to you. Again, it's hard to know without actually getting stuck in.

Archer: Well it feels sorta like grasping water..I can't get a feel for what it is..I figured if I could "identify" the nature of it, I would have an idea of how to manipulate it. What you said about just focusing on the "action" or raising, I'll give that a try.... but the other thing you mentioned about perceiving your energy as "light"..that sounds something like what happened to me..but as I said, perhaps because I'm not used to the higher general vibrations of the Etheric plane by nature.. i.e what is dark and heavy on "the other side" is still more active than matter..if that wording makes sense. Also I have a sort of bias, I mean being "light being" not making any sense to me in personal, stereotypical, experiential way.. I just don't like the idea..it doesn't "feel right" to me. At one time I tried something, and used visualization to raise an energy that is symbolic of my beliefs and resonated with me on a mental level..and I was able to break past a barrier I had with my practices, but I think I got burned by it.. I was unable to do anything vaguely spiritual for some time afterwards..maybe all my valves were strained from not being opened enough? That aside, thanks for the input....You have once again given me several things to think about, and troubleshoot for that matter.

The most work with personal energy I've ever done was with Tai Chi breathing exercises. I bring it up only because, even though i stopped for a long time, I was able to pick up where I left off.

so i'm going to just assume you haven't tried it and describe simply for brevity's sake. i realize you might already know all this junk.

often when people breath in, their stomach (as in, lower abdomen) swells. Don't do it that way, instead, make you upper chest inflate, then when you exhale (and this is the thang) push your lower abdomen out. The reason for this is built around the idea of pushing on your Dan tian, some kind of energy center in your abdomen. I suppose it could just be a form of foci, but it seems to do the trick. inhaling is supposed to collect your energy into the center, then you push it out again when you exhale.

So, maybe that is something you could try.

As for the light dark thing. i'm just gonna keep my thoughts to myself.

Another symptom I failed to mention so far..is that when I am raising energy(however inefficiently) it seems that at a certain point, I either lose concentration or the energy I raised seems to "disappear" and I'm sometimes left feeling tired from the exertion. This more often than not is my result when I'm attempting to separate from this body..(if I try to pull out too early I start feeling "turbulence" but I start getting nauseous....I figure this is either because I had not gathered enough energy, or I'm missing some part of the mechanism that either isn't specified in the guides(or I missed it) or there's something peculiar to my physiology that others may not have to deal with(as kahoku has mentioned in his case).

Do you have a set system of energy work you use, or do you more play things by ear according to your own ideas?

Well I've been using very vague..pushing, pulling, and focusing movements but since I've yet to get a feel for what I'm working with, it's inefficient. Also I've been playing with some visualization/meditation techniques to aid with my practices....but it seems like the results are inconsistent as to what works and what does not. I wonder if perhaps the reason I can't feel my "subtle body" strongly, typically, is because of this lack of energetic activity....or perhaps there's no body to speak of.

Yep, it's totally possible that your energy body is a diffuse could - in fact definitely something to look into, as otherkin tend to put Star Trek writers to shame in terms of anthropomorphism.

If just very vague techniques are getting you nowhere, why not pick a formal system and work as per their rules? To use an analogy, if you get fit from just your general lifestyle, that's cool; if you're feeling unfit though, getting a personal trainer and following his rules will work a lot better than just pottering about the gym.