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Existential Crisis
Rixem
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In an Ongoing Existential Crisis
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Post: #1
Existential Crisis
I've been in an existential crisis for years now & I don't know what to do.

Honestly, if I had to pick 1 thing I believe, I believe I'm the only person in the world. Everything I experience is just a product of my mind trying to entertain itself. That's the most logical thing. I can never be sure anything exists other than my own consciousness. If I made the universe & everything in it, I guess I'm god. But it's not much fun.

The world doesn't feel "real" to me. I don't know how to explain why not, but it doesn't. I also don't necessarily believe there IS a "real world" somewhere.

I've always known my body & my name were wrong. I don't connect them to myself at all. But I don't see myself with another specific body like a lot of otherkin do. I would prefer to have no body & no name.

A lot of people claim to "just know" what they are. I "just know" I'm not supposed to exist. It feels really wrong. Which is ironic, considering I'm the only thing that I can be sure DOES exist.

As far as death I imagine either:
A- the universe will simply cease to exist since I'm no longer there to imagine it
or
B- it's impossible for me to die & the only reason "other people" can die is they're all just figments of my imagination

Obviously, I'm open to the idea that maybe it is "real".
I'm open to the idea that deities & reincarnation & all that are real.
But I can never be sure.

It bothers me a lot.

(If anyone's curious what my PFP is, I had a dream I saw mother nature once & she looked like this.)
2022-11-21 7:06
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Elinox
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Post: #2
RE: Existential Crisis
What do you gain from everything not being "real" and it all being in your head?

I mean, if everything is just in your imagination, why would you get up and go to school/work tomorrow? It wouldn't matter if you didn't, so why do you?

[Image: sGaXcqG.png]
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"You're the best kind of crazy." -Murphy, The Dresden Files
2022-11-22 2:05
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Rixem
Member is Offline
In an Ongoing Existential Crisis
Kintype: Unsure
Otherkin: Yes
Gender: I Don't Understand Gender
Reputation: 0
Posts: 120
Points: 738.00
Contribution: tick 

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Post: #3
RE: Existential Crisis
(2022-11-22 2:05)Elinox Wrote:  What do you gain from everything not being "real" and it all being in your head?

I mean, if everything is just in your imagination, why would you get up and go to school/work tomorrow? It wouldn't matter if you didn't, so why do you?


I don't gain anything at all. I don't necessarily like it. But what I like has nothing to do with what's the truth. I can't prove any of it is real. So it's more logical that it's not. It might be, but there's no way to be sure.

I don't know why I go to school or work. I've always been forced to, so I just do.

(If anyone's curious what my PFP is, I had a dream I saw mother nature once & she looked like this.)
2022-11-22 2:26
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Elinox
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Post: #4
RE: Existential Crisis
(2022-11-22 2:26)Rixem Wrote:  
(2022-11-22 2:05)Elinox Wrote:  What do you gain from everything not being "real" and it all being in your head?

I mean, if everything is just in your imagination, why would you get up and go to school/work tomorrow? It wouldn't matter if you didn't, so why do you?


I don't gain anything at all. I don't necessarily like it. But what I like has nothing to do with what's the truth. I can't prove any of it is real. So it's more logical that it's not. It might be, but there's no way to be sure.

I don't know why I go to school or work. I've always been forced to, so I just do.

But that's my point. If you stopped going to school or work, because you're not sure it's real, you would learn the consequences of that. Which would then prove to you if it's real or not. If you stopped going and nothing happened, I guess it's not real. But if you stopped going and you either dropped out/failed out of school or were fired from a job, then you'd have proof it's real because of cause and effect.

[Image: sGaXcqG.png]
Banner by me. If you want one too, see here.

"You're the best kind of crazy." -Murphy, The Dresden Files
2022-11-22 16:26
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Rixem
Member is Offline
In an Ongoing Existential Crisis
Kintype: Unsure
Otherkin: Yes
Gender: I Don't Understand Gender
Reputation: 0
Posts: 120
Points: 738.00
Contribution: tick 

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Post: #5
RE: Existential Crisis
(2022-11-22 16:26)Elinox Wrote:  But that's my point. If you stopped going to school or work, because you're not sure it's real, you would learn the consequences of that. Which would then prove to you if it's real or not. If you stopped going and nothing happened, I guess it's not real. But if you stopped going and you either dropped out/failed out of school or were fired from a job, then you'd have proof it's real because of cause and effect.

I have cause & effect in my dreams though. I can never be 100% sure I'm not just imagining consequences. It's hard for me to believe things are real that can't be proven real. If it's fake, life is pointless. If it's real, it still might be pointless.

(If anyone's curious what my PFP is, I had a dream I saw mother nature once & she looked like this.)
(This post was last modified: 2022-11-22 16:49 by Rixem.)
2022-11-22 16:47
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