Starwind Wrote:Are some people, no matter how interested they are in the topic or how high quality the information they get their hands on, just permanently destined to fail with all attempts at magic and energy manipulation? When do you know for sure that you just are not the slightest bit special and it's time to give up and expend the energy in a more productive way? Or is it just a case of keep trying, eventually you'll get *somewhere* if you clear your mind enough/want it bad enough/read *this* book/whatever?
I'm thinking I'm just a phantom tailed leaky squib.
Sweety, you're not a leaky squib. There's no book or article in the world that you can read and say "Ah ha! I knew it!". I wish there was, but sadly magic (for all intents and purposes) is a very personal thing. In fact, you may not be failing at your attempts at all, results from one person to another vary as much as their faces. You're not going to be able to shoot fire out of your fingers, your not going to be able to make your pet cat begin singing Carmen's Habanera. The energy work you do may be affecting you without you even knowing it! If its easier, think of magic like a sugar-pill, a big placebo. The more you believe that its not going to work, that its impossible to work, to more impossible it truly becomes. Like I said, magic is personal. If anyone had the ability to produce hardcore emperical evidence that they can perform acts of arcane wonder, they would do it. And if they could, then you could say "well hell, I can't".
I believe that magic should be comforting in the same way prayer can be comforting.
For example, say you're driving at night and it starts raining so hard that you get afraid. You can't see, the windshield wipers aren't moving fast enough, there's no room to pull over...So you draw from your energy, your hope and your very life essence, and you believe that you can influence that fateful rainstorm. Minutes pass and suddenly the rain seems to get calmer and you take a deep breath and nod your head, knowing you can make it to your destination safely. Now, is this magic? All depends if you believe it is. It could be something as mundane as the fact that the storm just let up on its own accord, you drove out of its core. But the simantics are not important really if, for that terrorfying moment in your car, you made yourself feel better. In that way, its magic.
It is not a matter of if you're 'special', magic is not a matter of being 'touched'. Its all about belief. And, this is the good news, since you seem to be rather down that you're not getting solid results, it means you care and it means you believe that it can be achieved! That's really important, its the foundation you need and the thing that most people struggle with. So, you're ahead of the game in that regard.
But let me ask you this, what kind of magic are you most interested in? What draws you? What would you like to achieve?