I figure my "other half" is both the person I trust the most, and the person I know most about. In other words, our situation forces me to either trust him absolutely or go mad - and my access to his personal thoughts means I have more opportunity than anyone else to betray him.
So - when there's infighting, I don't deal with it by posting information on a message board full of strangers <!-- s

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I kid, I kid. And that's not an accusation. It's just interesting to me that a lot of multiples both have a high degree of separation with their "other halves" (semi-verbal communication, not shared consciousness, clear-ish boundaries) but are also willing to discuss them online. I'm not married, but to me it would be a bit like putting marital problems online - except that a multiple system is potentially far more closely connected than a married couple.
I'm not accusing anyone of indiscretion - I just find it very interesting, in a boundary sense.
As for what I do when there are issues . . . well, first up, there's never in-fighting in the sense of "Let's eat beef tonight" "NO! I want chicken!" In my system there's simply no such thing as conscious disagreement like that. What there is, is differing desires and internal conflict. Things like . . . part of me wants to get damn well healthy again so that I can go back to lawyering; part of me thinks being sick is a brilliant opportunity for me to throw away my suit and become a comic book writer; part of me wants to move to Japan and train for Ninja Warrior.
Or maybe at night, part of me wants to go to bed and get some sleep, but part of me wants to stay glued to Wikipedia and keep on learning random and useless information.
Internal conflict. Like when you're starting at uni, 18 and free, and part of you wants to go to a big party and get stoned and drunk . . . while part of you wants to finish your damn essay. It's having options, and wanting to pursue all of them, but having to choose one or the other because despite what Louis Armstrong says, you don't have all the time in the world.
Now, how do I deal with that?
Well,I'm gonna throw in another analogy. Being part of a system is a little like being in a very close family. I think just about everyone who is close to their family has had a moment or two where they feel betrayed or used or mistreated, and they suddenly think "Wow, I'm not as loved as I thought." (Normally this is when you're 16 and want to go to a party, but not always).
What happens? Badly written TV families sit down, talk about it, reach and understanding, compromise, and move on in a fit of love. Real families storm off to their rooms, slam the doors, and sulk for a while until someone caves and makes a token gesture, or sulking is just too much damn work, and then they all pretend that nothing ever happened.
That's me. Sulk, slam doors, glare, say "I'm sorry" while meaning "I will not forget this." And, of course, still loving with all your heart even though you think the other party is an SOB.
Is there a more mature, better way to deal with it? Almost certainly - but so long as you have two people who have different desires and motivations and experiences, but nevertheless have to live in absolute intimacy, then there will always, always, always be times when you can't stand to be in a room with them - but can't stand to be alone either.