Coming out...

As many of you may know, I have been searching for my kintype for a long time. I believe the one I stuck with the longest was demon. However, as of recently I am not quite sure that is what I am. So I decided to look back at myself and what I always thought I was. When I came across an article about godkin, I was at very least skeptical. However, something "stirred" inside me. "Am I godkin?" This was not the first time it crossed my mind, at all, but I had always pushed it aside. It just couldn't be. So many people worship gods and goddesses. How could I be one of them? Yet I could not push the thought away now. Indeed, I can see spirits, and occasionally they have bowed down and told me that, I was their "goddess". In the past, I remember meditating, and getting the feeling that "mortals" came to me for advice. I was at very least thought of as a god. Not to mention when I was little how I felt I was a goddess of sorts. I remember praying the the Greek Gods that I come back.

So I admitted the possibility, but still didn't quite understand how it could be. I ran into a fellow godkin who frequents Otherkin Alliance. She is an incarnation of Horus...the key term being "an". She told me that she's not sure what the reason for being godkin is, other than perhaps being a "shard". That is, a piece of a god sent to Earth for one reason or another. (This, of course, doesn't have to be anything big. It could just be the god having a little fun!) I am not sure what I make of the "shard" versus "full god" theory, but shard makes the most sense logically.

I at first thought I was an incarnation of Hera, but her energy didn't feel quite right to me. I figured I was in the Greek Pantheon (mainly because I feel most connected to that). Then I thought I was Selene, but in all honesty, I can't say for sure about that either. Some things, such as the fact that I only see "darker" beings such as demons, confuses me, and doesn't add up. Also, I may or may not be Greek pantheon, since it may just mean that I am most connected to that pantheon, since that is what I was first introduced to.

So who am I? I am not yet sure, but I am as positive as I can be, that I am godkin, and I do believe that I am a goddess of sorts. I have been doing a combination of meditation and research, and may have some results. I tend to see myself as half skeleton, so I am looking into that at the moment.

Either way, the people I have mentioned being godkin to, have accepted me. I am not sure if it's due to the sheer amount of time I have spent searching, or if it makes as much sense to them as it does to me. It may be a combination. However, realizing I am godkin has made even my childhood and other times in this life become more vivid, and makes more sense.

I do hope that you all will accept me with open minds, like the others have. Questions are welcome, however, if you have them...especially since it is not every day that you see someone claiming to be a god <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->


-Faite

*feels like spouting two cents, for the halibut*

I personally view the universe as being one of infinite versions of reality, all of those realities being in essence the imaginings of a single transcendant and immanent capital-G-God. In my mind, God is literally Everything, and Everything is just so many cellular subordinate units of God.
I consider angels and gods/goddesses of various pantheons to be essentially the same things, viewed as having somewhat different importances by different people and cultures... and I consider them to be the 'largest' sub-units of the overall God... like individual organs in a body. I consider each of them to be president over a single concept or set of associated concepts... like Hestia being associated with the hearth and home, or like Raphael being associated with healing and song.
I consider angelkin/godkin and so on to be further fragments or live avatars of those gods/angels, like cells within an organ. Going on the infinite realities presumption, in theory everybody would be just such a fragment and avatar, but perhaps only a limited number of us are cognizant of this connection to the 'larger' being(s). I believe that sometimes humans can also play hosts to direct conscious versions of those angels/gods, even if it is a different god/angel than the one of which they are chiefly a fragment.
Going on those beliefs, I am cool with you associating yourself as 'godkin'... in the sense that I consider literally everybody to be godkin/angelkin to some degree, and you happen just to be much more in touch with that aspect of yourself than the vast majority of the human population.

Of course, I don't demand you view it this way... I'm just making it clear: I agree that you're godkin, but I don't treat it as a matter of either superiority or strangeness. It's only different from the human norm that you are cognizant of it.
(I don't want to sound hostile, or anything like that; I've just encountered a few self-declared-godkin preteens who used it as an excuse to be condescending arses to everybody else in their online community. I don't expect you'd behave that way, but I preempt the possibility. :] )

Other than the big name Greek gods/goddesses, have you researched the minor ones? A connection to the dead and "darker" things could be Hecate or Persephone. Also, what about ancient cultures similar to Greek but are less known in popular culture like Assyrian?

Elinox Wrote:Other than the big name Greek gods/goddesses, have you researched the minor ones? A connection to the dead and "darker" things could be Hecate or Persephone. Also, what about ancient cultures similar to Greek but are less known in popular culture like Assyrian?

Good suggestions! I haven't looked into Assyrian, but I will now that you mention it. Also, based on my meditations revealing a possibly half-skeleton form, I am looking into the Norse goddess Hel. Apparently she was half-skeleton. She's also "darker" much like Hecate...


-Faite

Heck, if you're wanting skeletal types, look into Fear Dorcha, Ankou, Papa Lazerou, just about anything from Haitian Voodoo, a few things in Candomble and Santoria...

...or Thanatos, Mors, Sariel/Azrael, Hermes/Mercury (known to be a psychopomp)...

*shrug* There's much to be had and learnt.

Edit: I accidentally double-posted, so I might as well put content here.

Do you consider gods/goddesses to be necessarily gender-specific, or could you associate yourself to the 'nominally male' variety without discomfort? I'm not suggesting/implying anything, just asking how you feel about that notion.

Estelore Wrote:Edit: I accidentally double-posted, so I might as well put content here.

Do you consider gods/goddesses to be necessarily gender-specific, or could you associate yourself to the 'nominally male' variety without discomfort? I'm not suggesting/implying anything, just asking how you feel about that notion.

Based on what spirits have said, I seem to be a goddess, not a god...but I admit to the possibility that I could be male too <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt=":)" title="Smile" /><!-- s -->


-Faite

Estelore Wrote:Edit: I accidentally double-posted, so I might as well put content here.

You can actually go back and edit a previous post if you're worried about double posting. We don't encourage it, but if it happens occasionally it's not a big deal. <!-- s --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt=";)" title="Wink" /><!-- s -->

Estelore Wrote:Do you consider gods/goddesses to be necessarily gender-specific, or could you associate yourself to the 'nominally male' variety without discomfort?

By the very definition, a goddess is female and a god is male so there is a clear distinction. That's just how the English language differentiates. *shrug* But if you're referring to gods/goddesses having qualities of the opposite gender, then I don't see why that can't be true sometimes. Just simply that goddess = female and god = male.

*shakes head* That isn't how I mean.

More like... for gender is chiefly psychological, while sex is physical and contingent to a species' need to reproduce.
In mythology, some deities (like those representing death, or trickster-spirits, or the sun, or love) are female, and others representing the same concepts in another mythos are male. Is there anything to say that they aren't the same being, called by assorted names that assign the qualities of gender to them in the minds of their worshippers?
Judeo-Christians and Muslims refer to God as 'He'... but does that of necessity demand He actually be male, as opposed to female, androgynous, or non-gendered? Or else is it just a convenience, as calling God "It" seems rather disrespectful?

Just because a god/goddess is assigned a name specific to a gender, and is titled god or goddess in a gender-specific way, does it actually enforce that gender on them?

Estelore Wrote:Judeo-Christians and Muslims refer to God as 'He'... but does that of necessity demand He actually be male, as opposed to female, androgynous, or non-gendered? Or else is it just a convenience, as calling God "It" seems rather disrespectful?

This is something that has always really bothered me with Christianity. Many people insist that God does not have a gender, yet my English-oriented brain insists that god = male and goddess = female so I could never get around that God is actually "physically" male. It's always made it hard for me to relate to Him since I am physically female. Personally, if someone/thing does not feel "he" or "she" is appropriate and they feel comfortable using "it" I see no reason why we shouldn't.

Estelore Wrote:Just because a god/goddess is assigned a name specific to a gender, and is titled god or goddess in a gender-specific way, does it actually enforce that gender on them?

I don't work with gods/goddesses so I can't say for certain. However, since a name in these ancient cultures tended to infer a specific gender for a reason, I'd assume they meant for the deities to be distinguished between male and female. Although I don't see why a specifically male god or female goddess couldn't have aspects of the opposite gender.