Changing up my intro this time
I've joined and introduced myself in a few otherkin forums in the last month and I see some of the same names, so for some this is less of an intro and more of an update, as a couple of things have changed since then. So it's not another copy/paste of my usual intro, though some of the information herein is copied from various posts in various places.
I identify as otherkin by its most basic definition, that being: anyone assuming the identity of not being completely human, in body, mind and/or soul. I've come to understand that the level at which I identify is primarily mental, but referring to my preferred definition, that's good enough for me. The reasons I identify this way mentally: (to borrow words from Seraphyna) I think it does come down to different brain wiring for me; I feel like I think in ways that most people don't; I experience intermittent species dysphoria; when I shift it's in mentality and the things I shift to are thought forms of mine. There's also some spirituality in the mix, but I believe that too, while it does pertain to the spirit, also comes from the mind to an extent. I acknowledge that it could all just be wishful thinking stemming from misanthropy, but see previous on "good enough".
In past introductions, I settled for the (also borrowed) term "Chaos-thingy" to describe my kin-side; however since writing those, I've become comfortable with using "demonkin". Not demon, as between stigma and common usage that goes with that word I feel that it's not quite right, but demonkin I'm comfortable enough with due largely to semantics.
Basically, I'm going off of the word daemon/daimon. I was made aware that "demon" derived from "daemon" and basically meant "divine spirit", but it wasn't until I found an exact definition in particular that the meaning really clicked with me. That definition came from an Oxford dictionary and the word was defined as: (in ancient Greek belief) a divinity or supernatural being of a nature between gods and humans. an inner or attendant spirit or inspiring force". This works for me on two levels. I assert that I am "of Chaos" as defined above, and in identifying as Otherkin, I identify as being non-human except physically; putting me somewhere between the two. In addition to me (hypothetically) being a daemon of Chaos, by the second part Chaos could also be said to be my daemon as it is my inner spirit and inspiring force. So the way I see it, although demon and daemon may have developed separate meanings, each can still be kin to the other, and since I'm using daemon to describe this part of myself, I feel that demonkin is appropriate enough.
As I mentioned, I do make mental shifts and I believe that what I shift to are thought forms. They started out as characters from a time when writing was my favorite form of escapism, over the years I poured a lot of creative energy into them and started applying them to my life outside their written worlds, and they eventually evolved into something just past mere characters. I got into their heads, and they got into mine; they intermittently take up resident in my head and I sometimes slip into mentalities that attribute as belonging to them. They each have their own functions, and are of different kintypes, those different types being part of why I also sometimes speak of my nature as being polymorphic.
The rest of my basis for using polymorphic as a descriptor is almost entirely speculation and theory. If I had/have a "true form" then I theorize (based on how I view Chaos and the notion that I am, at least spiritually, of it) that such a form would likely be inherently shapeless but able to take a number of shapes as necessary, much like Chaos itself. So when discussing forms, I tend to express that mine would be amorphic with polymorphic capability.
That's all I can really think of for now; that's the gist of who I am thus far.
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