I've read the rules and there's one asking that we introduce ourselves after joining the forums. I didn't find any particular thread for that, where everyone could do so, so I'm creating one for myself. I hope it's ok.
First of all I thought I should say... I'm Brazilian so english is not my first language. So, forgive me if sometimes I do not express myself well.
I'm here because someone told me about this site when I mentioned something about missing and longing for a home among nature creatures and spirits in a distant past. I didn't know there was a name - Otherkin - for people who had similar feelings to mine. I'm still trying to get used to the idea of discussing it openly. I often avoid talking about that because I feel that people will understand it superficially, or think I'm roleplaying, or am some kind of "wannabe", have a large ego etc. But, actually, this is something I treasure too deep, as I feel it like being my inner self and I really feel the truth in it.
Well, let me actually introduce myself: I'm Caroline, but you can call me Carol. I'm AKA Aeryael out there in the internet. I'm a 22 years old Brazilian girl. My biggest passions are drawing & painting, writing, nature, animals, music (singing), and daydreaming.
Well. As I can remember, I've felt different since I was little. I was always the one that didn't understand the human ways quitely - and it lasts until today, when I'll look at everyone living their lives and I think "how they do that?". How they go out, socialize, study, work, date, deal with banks, money, dress up to parties. Hahah. Maybe it sounds funny but I never understood any of that too much. It's all so different from what I would expect of a "life".
My main childhood playings were about being an animal, a mermaid, or a fairy, and many times it included a "imprisoned" situation. I was always a melancholic, lonely and observative type. I also was SURE I could fly, if I just remembered how. I used to actually practice, running with arms wide open and then jumping as high as I could, then falling on the ground a little frustrated, but thinking, "that was close!". I *really* believed it was just a question of practicing and remembering how to do it. I don't know at what point I stopped trying...
I've always had pretty intense dreams. I used to have a lot of terrible, gory nightmares during childhood, but today it is rare. I also have beautiful dreams, and the best ones are the ones I really feel who I am, and I am a Fae at them. Usually I fly around, am mischievous, have fun and feel free like never, I have this deep feeling of freedom and joy and curiosity, and connection to the nature. I could describe some beautiful dreams sometime, they are usually pretty detailed.
There is something I always try to figure out, that is, how do my "Fae self" look like. I'm pretty sure I have wings. (I was fascinated with insect-like fairy wings when a child, they gave me a indescritible feeling I can only taste a little now). I feel a blue glowing. I am not the stunning "angelical" beauty sometimes people depict fairies like. I am pretty wild and sometimes will really behave like a wild animal. I bare teeth when angry. I like to defy and provoke and live adventures, not following rules. (so I'm not much into the "Fae politics", hahah)
Well. I think maybe it was a little beyond a simple introduction, I got a little excited I guess. I should be sleeping right now. (I hate the "should" sentences... like, obligations, lol. I used to really cease the night and feel closer to the Fae then, feeling full of creativity. Now I'm a little too much into the "adult world". Not by my own decisions of course and I do not plan to stay here too long).
I'm sorry if this is a very long message or if it's placed wrongly. I didn't read all other threads still, but I'd love to know everyone better.
Deviantart: <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://aeryael.deviantart.com">http://aeryael.deviantart.com</a><!-- m -->
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